Chronicles of a Soldier
Thursday, December 06, 2007

Do you Face Book?
Ok somehow sha..I got myself hooked on face book and like a crack head I am feening for the shit all day long…I find myself checking it early mo mo before I go to work and late at night before I sleep and seriously about 20 other times in between that! The other day caught myself on hold with Sprint for like 45minutes to upgrade to vision services just so I can check my Face Book at work! Finally the Sprint lady came on the phone and I was like…uhhhm.... never mind!

At first I was sure it was one of those Hi5 runs.... with random mofos professing love and shit so I was like…na, then I thought it was for youngins and in as much as I love young folks…I was like hell na! Then the most unlikely person asked me why I wasn’t on face book, cause it seemed it would be right up my alley…I finally said f%^k it…Imma join…shit it wont be the first time I’ve been called Agbaya!

So about the random mofo..still holds true but not nearly as bad as Hi5 and as per the being too old…let just say I make up for about 0.0000001% of the agbaya population! I mean good gawd! I’ve seen Uncles, aunties, even my friend’s dad on face book!

So anyway back to my gist o…so I am getting invites from all these folks I haven’t seen in years and I am sending invites to them a well getting all excited and shit. Then I see this one chick I remembered from my brief stint in Lag…so I send her an invite. As a matter of fact, I had a picture of her from back in the day…I must have been 19 or so…Anywho…she sends me a message asking who I was…and being a person that never remembers anybody myself (I have an uncurable case of ‘out of sight out of mind’), I took the time to explain to her how we know each other…I told her the name of our mutual friend and my partner in crime and told her I just wanted to holla. She finally added me as in ‘gba jen simi’ Please tell me why this babe was sooo standoffish…sebi I should have backed down abi? I called our mutual hommie and told her what happened and she laughed at me saying “QB you dey go Lagos? Abi you lose friend? I beg leave the girl jare” About a week later, she deletes me. ROTFLMAO!!! Why na? I actually send her a message to ask why and she said I was not up to the caliber of folks on her list! Yepa…no… this is not one of my make believe yarns o…true-life story!! The rest of the story gets long and since I have vowed to avoid drama by all means necessary…I will leave it alone.

I am not the least discouraged though…. I’ve caught up with some great friends and made new ones in process, I will say though, be very careful who you invite to be your friend on face book some folks misinterpret recognition as importance.


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

State Fair 07
Another boring ass day at this boring ass job! I am sitting here changing the font on my yahoo messenger….now that classic! Dami finally emailed me the pictures from State Fair! I sooo hate it when folks take pictures and you never get them…AS IF!!!
I have figured out what I’m going to do for my church…none of the other duties interest me…so I will appoint myself the church paparazzi! We have a particular family that dozes during sermons…..that would be a hit for my lenses! Buhahahaha that’s not a sin is it? I am trCheck Spellingying to change my ways o!

More Pictures!!!

Back to the fair and sturvs…I sooo do not do rides! I always feel like the Mofos that assemble the sturvs somehow forget a screw…Or maybe they just got yelled at right before by their boss and they are like…Pssst f&%k it! So I don’t do rides o jare! That would be a punkful way to go out! But somehow sha I found myself on one thing like that, it takes you about 800 feet in the sky and then drops you…Omo..I agree “My name is Bola and I am a wimp! Egba mi! Who sent my monkey ass? My stomach was churning like hell and I felt sick! I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!

I made sure I tasted every food they had at that fair, my diet would have to wait another 24 hours….Dayo wanted to go out and I was all for it until after I stuffed myself silly! I got home at about 10pm and took forty winks!


Monday, October 22, 2007

Bonike is 35!!
My sister had this amazing party in Michigan at the Belle Isle Casino...it was major! I invited a bunch of my friends but only two showed up...oh well! Omo I started to panic a few weeks to the party lots to do and so little time. Ticket prices were crazy! Moji and Lola finally got their tickets, I was still thinking about where to get our baffs from, Aunty foluke helped me sha..thanks mami! I ran to my tailor to sew everyone's outfit, pleased tell me why I got to the tailor the day before my trip and this madam had not even started LA's baffs! I was pissed, I had an early flight day after and here I am 10 PM sitting with the tailor! At about 1pm sha..she finished...I cursed under my breath and bounced. I still had to go to Ade's house to see Mama Remi! Please tell me why my car died on me at their house! It was cold as hell and I had neglected to put gas in my car! I took Ade's car ran to the gas station and back and filled my tank and wahla...the bitch started! I finally get home at about 330am...I still had to pack o! and my flight was at 745am! needless to say I got no sleep!

LP dropped me at the airport 45 minutes to my flight and princess O and I patiently wait our turn in the security line. They pulled us aside and went through my luggage. They tossed all my hair and bath products but nothing was more painful than watching my brand new bottle of MJ Daisy go! I was pissed men! Apparently I looked like an damn terrorist!
I tried to think of more pleasant things like the fact that I get to see my whole family together since like almost 3 years ago! or was it 2...I forget.

I quickly grabbed my luggage and caught the shuttle to the rental car place...omo Michigan is dry! I mean damn! the airport is big and all but nothing interesting! I sha hurried to my hotel and tried to nap a bit before getting ready. I don't know whose idea this Friday party was but mehn..it sucks! At about 5pm Mo and La arrived and I dashed to the airport to scoop them. My sisters were calling trying to find out where I was. I ran into a lot of folks I hadn't seen since I was 9...very weird and shit. I was tasked with picking up the live band from their hotel which worked out since they were minutes from my hotel.

My baby sis showed up at my hotel to hang out with me, only she was sooo not a baby! She had lost mad weight and was looking hot! I kept staring at her in amazement.

We hurriedly got dressed and rushed to the party. It was amazing to say the least! Each table was elaborately decorated with fancy cakes and desserts and everyone looking all kinds of fabulous! My mum was at a table with her friend in their own Ankara threads. My sister was beaming with joy. She grabbed me and introduced me to all her friends and coworkers. My brother was wearing trad and just as I started to commend him I looked at his shoes..sneakers!! The boy is a mess!

My cousins, my niece, my nephew...uncle this aunty that...mummy from Nigeria...Robin..all my favorite people in one room! Even my step mother made an appearance! The food was magnifique....the music...bananas..can remember who played..I'm so not into the Naija live band scene but the dude did good sha!

My sister, her husband, my mum and a host of others made speeches but the one part I remember was when my sister said I was the best gift God ever gave her! that was deep and I was moved! Never thought she felt that way about me! *** still Blushing***
I was busy stuffing my face when they called me to make the toast...campaign flowing like H2o I raised my glass and said a few words...damn I wished I put more thought in it...I did OK sha...I am soooo shy I start to tremble when I am asked to speak in public....hard to believe I know but true!

They started spraying money like water and I was kinda pissed cause I didn't get any...OK so I didn't dance.

A big shout out to Gbemi mehn! he made like 20 trips to the grocery store to get ice and God knows what else!

My the end of the evening folks were packing up the cakes and taking them home! I quickly grabbed one too...I don't even like cake!

We hung out for a bit more and wrapped up the night...what a great party!

We headed to the hotel and slept like it was going out of style! On Saturday we hung out with at my sister's and Moji's cousin then we watched 'why did I get married' great movie!

On Sunday morning we had breakfast and it was time to leave....I dropped LA and Moji off at the airport and headed back to my sister's to hang out with the family. Gbemi cooked efo and we all grubbed, and argued and laugh and for a moment we were not dysfunctional!

Great weekend! See yall next year at my 30th....August 30th 2008..mark your Calendar!!

Trying to catch up....
Oh wow..didnt think I would be away this long…but omo things dey happen o! Days turned into weeks and then months…..ok Imma try to come with it.

What going on with QB..errybody trying to know. I got a call the other day from one of my friends dad wanting to know why I having been blogging…Buhahaha..absolutely Hilary …I don’t know pops…errrhh…..maybe it got boring? Besides there are loads of interesting blogs out their now…its almost like the music industry…your track is hot until the next one! But na..its never been for the audience really, its been about free therapy!

Update! Errything is kosher, I am temping at some insurance firm as an admin, I have been doing that since June. I sooooo hate it! The other day this old fart asked me to make reservations for his lunch meeting at some restaurant…I was in a foul mood so I made him reservation for the one in DC…buhahahaha..Oloshi..next time call ya damn self!

Then my boss lady asks me to go get lunch everyday! According to my agency I should politely tell her to kiss my ass, but I like the lady sha, plus…I am greatful to even be employeed so I eat humble pie everyday and handle my business. Oh and the asswipe that asked my for reservations walks up to me and say "you know, you dress really professional and look nice everyday…its amazing we don’t see that much in this role and I know we don’t pay you that much" I guess that was a compliment….in fact…were ni baba e! I couldn’t even respond to that…I just gave him a smile of contempt and kept typing. I am bored out of my mind so I decided to give this blog business a second chance.

I had a birthday…August 30 baby…omo I was mad depressed, switched off my phone and slept all day…apparently Dayo and his wife didn’t get the memo..they came by to drag me to dinner at Ruth’s Chris, it was aii, but omo for that price I woulda made obe buka for 300 folks and still had money for drinks!
This chic I went to school with lives in my complex, since the day we discovered, it has been a chemical romance…I mean now I don’t have to run to Food Lion when I run out of salt, maggi or tampon! I just call OG up and wahla….its going to be short lived sha..omoge is getting married and moving again soon!

So I chopped off all my hair again o! Yes boredom! I like it sha, except now I get a relaxer every 3 weeks, due to my nappy roots.

Dont know if i mentioned my ace Dupe left town for Jand! I miss you snookums!

Wunmi Finally left...I guess we'll see her again next year when she comes back to drop it like its hot!

Monday, October 15, 2007

PS I love you!
These oyinbo people know what they are talking about mehn! Fa real! I was chatting with my Big Sis whining about how so damn affectionate Omolayo is and how she says I love you every five minutes! Not only that o, she will call me five minutes after I leave home and say some shit like I miss you! Da hell? Everyone that knows me knows I don't do hugs and kisses, as a matter of fact when I see one of my dawgs or someone I care about I will say Assole, you no fit call? Abi were ni e ni…..?that translates to… Hey! How are you? I've missed you! I also have this thing about personal space…don't be all in my face! Maintain a 3 feet circumference distance at all times. Unless you are my man..you do not need to be that close to me!

So I was complaining, and she told me to enjoy it because her 10 year old is at an age where he does not even acknowledge her…I don't think I would mind that at all! Do you and I do me!
So…. Omolayo just sent me another 'I love you' text…. "erhhh, Sweetie, I love you too but we don't have to say it all the time…it gets old, lets save it for Birthdays and Christmas!"

My sister she says this goes back to our childhood, apparently there was not enough hugs and kisses growing up, so that's why it's weird now, plus I don't remember any "I love you" being exchanged in our micky flick. I dont doubt our parents loved us but they sure never said it. I guess it's a vicious cycle because the thought of my paternal grandma saying 'I love you' is somewhat comical…AS IF!

Me I sha don't remember all that I love you crap sha, I am constantly kicking Molayo out of my room but I remember as a kid I was forced to be amongst people because I always preferred to fly solo, these days sending Molayo to her room is punishment!

So anyway, I am trying sha…I was told if I don't give her enough affection she might turn into needy bugaboo or worse…na…..cant have that either. I swear parenting is hard! Just when you get the gist of it, there are new rules and guideless, Dos and Donts all kinds of crap just come up!
May God help me o!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Okay so I have been gone a while, I not sure why really, I guess I just got bored with it (blogging that is) There seems to be so much going now that there is never really anytime to blog.
So lets see what has been going on with QB…omo dem plenty o! I don't even know where to start. I guess midlife crisis is supposed to happen at about 40 abi? Well my shit came early! I got laid off back in June, well May really but I was on payroll until June. I took about a week off to process my next move then I was called for a temp assignment were I had to smile all day like a damn idiot and act like I really wanted to be there (I didn't) I guess I wasn't too convincing because after 1 ½ months my assignment ended. Just when it was time for me to sulk again, I got an a couple offers…damn I am blessed! Ok well this time I will try not to complain and count my blessings. I really have nothing to complain about because it's a great opportunity to do what I do best! Thank you Jesus!

There have been a few trips to MD about 3 and then one to Tennessee, but I think I mentioned that one already..abi? There was a baby shower for Wunmi..she's dropping any minute now!

Ok soo I have gained quite a bit of weight as in officially the double digits! I should not have made fun of fat people! I take it back o! Damn lift this curse!!! I swear I am a size 10 now and a Large! It scares the shit out of me because nothing fits! What's worse…I can't shop in the juniors department if I get any bigger! LP says she will work with me at the gym…so I have started eating in moderation and taking walks around my way.

E told me to try this new red bull diet but omo..that shit is expensive! Plus folks be coming overt my house drinking red bull like its Shasta! Omo..iro o…I no fit! Besides that shit makes me more hyper than I care to be…I get all wired up and stay up all kinds of crazy hours…na blad..not having it. Eat right and exercise that's what I'll do. If I can just be a size 8 again Lord I promise to be a good girl and limit cooking obe buka to once a month!

Congratulations Thelma!!! My girl is officially a married woman! I can wait for the owambe girl! My Shoe and bag has been polished …no time for games! And my girl Elisa..Oooooohh Weeee! I can't wait for D-Day to come, just pray for me o that I loose this weight or imma have to step down from the bridal train…yall lepas not going to have me looking crazy! Congrats yall! I wish you Joy, peace and love, may your union be blessed and These oyinbo people know what they are talking about mehn! Fa real! I was chatting with my Big Sis whining about how so damn affectionate Omolayo is and how she says I love you every five minutes! Not only that o, she will call me five minutes after I leave home and say some shit like I miss you! Da hell? Everyone that knows me knows I don't do hugs and kisses, as a matter of fact when I see one of my dawgs or someone I care about I will say "Assole, you no fit call? Abi were ni e ni?"....that translates to… "Hey! How are you? I've missed you!" I also have this thing about personal space…don't be all in my face! Maintain a 3 feet circumference distance at all times. Unless you are my man..you do not need to be that close to me!

E told me to try this new red bull diet but omo..that shit is expensive! Plus folks be coming over to my house drinking red bull like its Shasta! Omo..iro o…I no fit! Besides that shit makes me more hyper than I care to be…I get all wired up and stay up all kinds of crazy hours…na blad..not having it. Eat right and exercise that's what I'll do. If I can just be a size 8 again Lord I promise to be a good girl and limit cooking obe buka to once a month!

Congratulations Thelma!!! My girl is officially a married woman! I can wait for the owambe girl! My Shoe and bag has been polished …no time for games! And my girl Elisa..Oooooohh Weeee! I can't wait for D-Day to come, just pray for me o that I loose this weight or imma have to step down from the bridal train…yall lepas not going to have me looking crazy! Congrats yall! I wish you Joy, peace and love, may your union be blessed!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

I am a major fan of Crocs, you know the shoes that look like a crocodile? They are extremely comfortable and convenient. So I ran into a pair a few months ago and I bought them and they have been my knock about ever since.
So I was out shopping again and I saw a pair for Omolayo, she is my biggest fan so she likes for us to dress alike or do the same hairstyle (don’t ask me why) Anyway I got home and I was sure she would be beside herself that I had gotten her a pair of Crocs like mine. She looked at me and said thanks but I did not see any excitement or joy on her face it was more like a WTF look! So I asked her if she didn’t like her crocs and she goes “Mummy these are not Crocs!” da hell? Whadaya mean? I told her that that’s what they are called and I even have a pair! “Newsflash mummy…..yours are not Crocs either!” I had a blank confused look on my face and she seemed hesitant to finish “Mummy your shoes are fake! Crocs have Alligator on the side…these don’t…they are fake!”
“Egbami! You smoke gbana? Who told you that?!”, “Everybody wears them in school mummy but they have Alligators on it, I’ll wear them but they are not Crocs! Thank you anyway!” And she walked away leaving me dumbfounded Wunmi and I exchanged looks like what the hell just happened? How do kids know these things? Molayo is not even into clothes at all, she is indifferent about shopping, she’d rather have a Barbie anyday so this was a shock to me. I guess mine are Crooks…LOL

Monday, June 25, 2007

Howdy Blogville! I am not sure what possessed me but I followed my friends to Tennessee this past weekend! I knew we would have fun but I never anticipated the scary ass ride down there! It was totally my idea to take off 3am; I figured we’d get there around 10am and have plenty time to relax before the wedding. Oh yeah…it was a wedding Jean’s brother was getting married (Jean, Remi and I all went to high school together). Anywho I crashed at Ade’s because she was closest to our meeting venue. She woke me up at 230 and we were out. I left my phone at Ade’s so we went back there to get it. We finally start our trip but not before I gassed up on some coffee as I was driving the first leg of the trip. It wasn’t bad at all at least not until four hours later and we entered the mountains! Good Lawd! It was some kind of scary! Rocks everywhere!! And to make matters worse, 18 wheeler trucks were speeding by me like they were going to hit me! I started freaking out and Remi took over the driving! Phew! I didn’t sleep sha o! I was in awe of the view and I whipped out my camera to take pictures. We finally arrived at our hotel and I went in to check in, the lady at the counter made an error in checking me in and she started cursing and I stared at her shocked…..as in are you serious right now? Remi came in to see what was taking so long and I told her what happened, she picked up the complaint forms and started filling it out. The lady apologized profusely and redeemed herself by upgrading us to a bigger room with 3 double beds! I really need to take notes on how to handle such situations, I was ready to curse the lady out, I told her cursing at your customers was unprofessional and I will need to speak with her manager. We felt sorry for the poor lady and she couldn’t stop apologizing, she asked Remi not to file a complaint.

We were all starving so we went to the restaurant at the hotel to get some food. We sat there for about 2 hours gisting and carrying on looking all kinds of crazy! The food was da bomb! The service…even better. After we were stuffed we decided to check out the mall! We stopped at this boutique were they had really nice things at affordable prices, we all went bananas and started shopping, then we headed to Belk were they were having an amazing shoe sale, we did some more shopping then headed back to the hotel to get ready. We took turns bathing and we dressed quickly! I have gained ridiculous weight since the last time I wore this dress and my boobies just wouldn’t stay in place! Note to self (Stop eating so damn much!) Remi tied all our gele’s and I did everyone’s make-up!

We got to the reception right on time and settled in our seats, they had little snacks on each table to nibble on. Bunmi, another Apata alumni, was the hostess and she did a good job getting everyone’s attention. There was a variety of really good food on the menu, I took a little of everything and stuffed myself once again…..now I need a nap! I told everyone I was going to take a nap in the car and I was gone for the rest of the party! I was so tired, I reclined the seat in our car and dosed off! Funmi came at about 11pm to tell me the party was over. I followed her back in and we all chatted with Jean and Bunmi for another hour then headed back to our hotel. There were lot of great party favors, we all got an extra gele for buying gele ebi and Remi got Ankara for buying aso ebi. I racked up on Tupperware and we were each given a plate of food to go! We headed back to the hotel and went to sleep.
I slept through most of the drive home, Dupe and Ade did the driving and we got back to NC at about 430pm.

More pictures later

Monday, June 18, 2007

I step closer to the cure!

Charity work makes you feel so damn good! I am trying to get in the habit of doing it more often (charity work that is!). Thanks to Funmi, we participate annually in the Walk for the cure, her company is one of the sponsors and they invite us to join in their efforts every year! Granted it’s early as hell on a Saturday but I really don’t mind doing it because it is fun as well as fulfilling! Anywho I made it there early this time, I even found legal parking. A bunch of us showed up to help out! Funmi’s boss is mad cool, very humble and loves it when I boss everyone around! There were loads of freebies from several companies. Who know next year I might actually walk…but wait o..did I say that last year? I mean it this time sha!

Friday, June 15, 2007

There is this lady in my office whose husband comes by to see her everyday! Brings her lunch then swings by to pick her up after work! Mind you they both ride scooters to work o! So its not like he need to give her a ride! Is that cute or what! I am sitting there observing them from the window, he backs her laptop and secures her safely on her scooter then he gets on his and they ride home. She is a short, full figured, Asian woman…cute as a button with demure character and I swear he is a Brad Pitt’s clone!! I soooo want to take their picture so you see what I mean, but its way too early to get fired!

The other day he comes in and she tells him she has to work late, he looked really disappointed like the best part of his day was his ride home with his wife...then he promised to ride back to pick her up in a couple hours…AWWW!!!

He is always very friendly and addresses me by my first name, I like it when people do that its so personal that is the opposite of impersonal abi? Anyhow as I drove home yesterday they were both riding right behind me and I swear I almost bashed my car watching them from my side mirrors. At each traffic light he would ask her if she was alright and she would nod alright. My 8 minutes drive home was so mushy I felt like I had just seen ‘The Notebook’ a second time!
Out of curiosity I asked them how long they’ve been married and he answers “8 years!” Alleluia romance still lives!!!

I have never seen Nigerian men display that kind of affection towards their women…And why the hell not?!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Where you at?
Damn it’s been a minute! Lets see here...Alot has been happening mehn!! I haven’t had the time nor the will to blog. I have moved residences...AGAIN! I know its retarded moving every year but hey...can’t help it! I finally moved the last of my things last night..omo this na real stress o! So let me gist you small...I contacted this company that provides labor for my move...for some $15 per hour but for some reason when it was time for me to move the office was closed. So I am driving down the street and I see this Kokoye (is that derogatory?) I asked him if he wanted to help me move and he said yeah so I put him in my car, then he leads me down some alley to get a couple more. This one dude was reeking of alcohol like he showered with it so I asked him to bounce, he threw a hissy fit and insisted on bus fare back to his spot, I gave him $2 in change cause that was all the cash I had and he finally gets down. He threw the money at me and whipped out his uncircumcised penis! da hell! When I got back to my crib everyone was rolling and the called me an idiot for going alone and for being a cheap ass...not my fault jare...the whole of Raleigh was sick of me moving and I really couldn’t afford proper movers considering I lost my job about a month ago! Yes o! BTW.... Since some Nosey mofo was so pressed to hear gist he called my former employer digging for information, I will fill you in (all you had to do was ask...Amebo Oshi!!) Anywho.... My company was downsizing, I saw it coming because there were a lot of closed doors and unexpected visit from the head honchos, what I did not know was how soon! So I got the axe, so did 7 other folks in my office. I should have been sad but I was perfectly calm and took it extremely well, my boss joked that he thought we might need security after they told me the news. I was technically employed through the month of May but he told me I did not have to come in, plus I would receive severance and shit! So that is how I lost my, have your own office, show up at 11am, leave at 5 and earn the same amount as the infamous master degree holder job! Who knew!
Reality that my severance period was fast approaching drove me back into job search...and I am officially newly employed...do you still doubt that I am highly favored? To God be the glory!
so at this new gig, I have to be in but 7:45 and smile like I won the lottery all damn day long, I swear my jaw is hurting from the stupid grin I have been sporting. I am not naturally a smiley person, infact I frown sef, its not intentional but that is my face dammit! So now I have to make a conscious effort to smile and be pleasant from 745 till 5, God help those that have to deal with me after hours! Buhahahaha

What was I saying sef? Ok so I moved. I have a bunch of pictures to put up! Birthday shout outs to send! Announcements to make ETC
Let me start with the birthdays! My baby girl LP, My best Pig Remi, Bayo my little brother, Bode, Tolu Peter and Paul...and anyone else I may have forgotten.
How about we planned a little birthday party for Remi, we were all going to hide in her crib and surprise her but everyone was late getting there except Ade! We had a blast anyway...I have to orgarnize my pictures

A big shout out to my baby sister Oyin on her graduation from high school! I am sooo proud of you sorry I could not come out to share your special day but I am sure big sis and mumsy represented to the utmost! Good luck as you move on to bigger and better things, just don’t do PHD like Sister Nikky (that shit make you crazy!!!)

I don’t know what is going on o but I have gained a lot of weight! As in a lot! I can even front like I am a medium anymore! I am not doing anything different, I think my metabolism is slowing down.... after all I am nearing the big 30!

Anyway, That all for now, I will be back with more gists, like my drunken episode last Saturday..God help me! I don’t understand why I even drink alcohol sef, I hate the taste and smell plus I have a low tolerance! I don’t apologize often but when I do its sincere so to all the folks I abused verbally and physically on Saturday…my bad!
I got an email today that’s got me all excited but for the first time I am keeping on the DL…stay tuned sha cause you know my ass can’t keep a secret!
Aii folks…gotta run now, I need to go arrange my shoes!

Thanks Ade for bring it to my attention!
How can I forget Debs boy! Happy birthday boo boo...I swear if you were not Remi's little brother I would sooo do you! This Mofo is the funniest person I have ever met, you should sooo do stand up!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Happy Birthday Gbemi!
Today is my brother's birthday, I called him this morning to wish him happy birthday and he was like "Oh yeah thanks" like he had somehow forgotten about it! I bet a lot of folks don't even know I have a brother, actually I have 3 depending on who's counting.
Gbemi and my sister Oyin are the quite laid back ones, My Older sister Nikky is the brains in the family, loud and Vulga as hell! And mua...2nd born black sheep...wouldn't have it any other way!

God has been extremely good to my family this year, especially to Gbemi and I am positive that this is just the beginning of greater things to come. I am so proud of you papi!!! You know I am not the affectionate type and I have probably never told you this but dude...I love you, I am proud of you and I am so glad you are my brother!! Have fun today and give Missy my love! Smoochies!!

Ashandy is old as hell!!

So our NY in NC omoge Ashandy...AKA..Shady...AKA...Iya Rodo celebrated her bafday yesterday! For some reason, I thought it was the 15th... (Remi’s Dummas) Anywho, I'd like to wish Ashandy a very happy birthday!!!

This Heifer is high spirited and loads of fun to be around....plus she carries the Psycho crown in Raleigh right next to Remi and I. Ashandy baby…happy birthday!

I was looking for a really jacked up picture of Ashandy to post but your ass got lucky babes...dont worry I will check my laptop at home, I am sure I will find something!

I remember when we met Ashandy, I was determined not to like her, she was loud as hell and very friendly, we ended up spending hours talking to her and I found myself easing up and laughing hysterically despite myself!

Now the heifer gets on my damn nerves, one of the very few people who know how to push my buttons….Love you loads gal! May God in his infinite mercies grant you all your heart desires as you celebrate one of many more birthdays to come.

It’s on and popping at Ashandy’s Saturday! BBQ Egba style, Asun, suya and things...be there!!

Monday, May 14, 2007

I finally got my wisdom tooth pulled the other day! The shit was bothering me and my dentist said it would cost $450 per tooth and I need to pull all four! Abi were ni wan ni? Where some folks are looking for spare teeth, I should just yank 4 commot? Oh hell…. Okay! The pain became unbearable so I called around and found a dentist that would do it for me on quick notice…Dental ER if you will. Ndidi offered to go with me and I took her up on it, Lord knows my whining ass will cry like a baby so I could definitely use support! I filled out endless paperwork and waited patiently for my turn to go under.

In comes this Island bloke! God must have made him on a Sunday Wahlai! Dark glowing skin, perfectly manicured fingers and the perfect set of 32s I have ever laid eyes on. Ndidi and I exchanges silent looks that spoke volumes! Good Gawd! This hot piece of man candy can help himself to my mouth anytime! He spoke in a deep voice with a sexy Caribbean accent; his scrubs were cut so you can see he works out….alot!!!! We giggled like little girls and he was all business….and Intelligent too…it’s a wrap! For a minute I felt like one of the chicks on Greys Anatomy and OMO McDreamy has nothing on McDentist!!!

It took about 10 minutes for the extraction and McDentist gave me a list of DO DO’s for the next 24 hours;
  1. Don’t talk
  2. Don’t eat
  3. Don’t smoke
  4. Don’t Gargle
  5. Don’t use straw
  6. Don’t take gauze out the rest of the day

I quickly fell out of lust with McDentist as in…. you wan kill me? 1, 2 and 3 were totally unreasonable!!! We stepped out of the building and I lit my boros! After all that omo, I think I’ll have another sef! I was sooooo hungry so Ndidi and I went to Cheesecake factory for lunch, I ordered macaroni and cheese, clam chowder soup, mashed potatoes and grilled salmon with Iced tea, I was feeling pretty good, she looked at me in amazement but I assured her, I had high pain tolerance! I went to the bathroom and removed the gauze and rinsed my mouth, then I returned to the table and ate a little of everything I ordered, plus I drank out of a straw!

I was pretty proud of my defiant ass so we decided to walk through the mall… that is…. until the anesthesia wore off! Good Gawd!!!! It was like stabbing a wound continuously! I had an instant fever and my head felt like it was about to explode! I could barely walk! Instead of driving to the Pharmacy to fill my prescription, I was feeling like QB almighty! I was on the verge of tears when we pulled up to the pharmacy, I could barely see. Every sound I heard went straight to my head. Finally I got my drugs…God bless Percocet! I swallowed two pills to calm my ass down I replaced my gauze and followed doctors order the rest of the day! One down and 3 more to go!

A designer to look out for!

Click to enlarge image

Creativity has a new face. Az`ure (As You Are) designs are the artistic creation of LP. Each elaborate piece is hand painted and given detailed attention to ensure unrivaled exclusivity. Casual couture that glams up any wardrobe while maintaining personal style!

Click to enlarge image
Click to enlarge image

This summer I am rocking nothing but pieces from the summer collection. The great thing is that if you have an idea, LP will customize your designs to your taste! She pays detailed attention to each piece to ensure perfection every time! Did I mention they are affordable? To order yours please send an email to AZUREDESIGNSLP@GMAIL.COM someone will contact you within 24 hours be sure to say QB sent you!

Photos by: Mark Daniels

The website is coming soon!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Hey Yall
It's been a hot minute abi? My bad! I have so much shit going on right now, its not even funny! I lost my Grandma....I am told its not affecting me like it should but omo, dunno o! I have never felt more stressed! Everything and everyone is getting on my damn nerves! I was given 3 days off for bereavement at work which so far I have used very unwisely! Sleeping and sleeping then more sleeping!

I finally got the pictures up! you know the bad hair experience, I am told my facial expression is worse than the hair...either way...enjoy them!!

My dawg dupe is in Naija, I miss her sha, she keeps me financially stable, reminds me of all of the things on my to-do list and why I absolutely do not need another pair of shoes...hurry back dupe I need you!!!!

Okay so let me fill you in on whats been happening.

I went out with my oyinbo friend Karin, she wanted to rent a limo and bar crawl, I invited Bode because she is the craziest Mofo I know and she fits right in with Oyinbo people. It was ridiculous!!! I was so tired, I begged Bode to take me home but she was having way too much fun and Karin was on another planet!

Tolu's sister came for a visit, kinda weird but Molayo enjoyed having her fathers family over so it was all good.

Remi, Ade, Dupe, Oyinade and I went to some Owambe renewal of vows....we wore Iro and buba and had a blast.

Princess o and I spent the entire day Saturday at the beauty salon, she needed a perm and I need a haircut, molayo got a doobie wrap and could not stay out of the mirror! I hated my style so I combed it out and did the damn thing myself!

I have this new passion for baking Moi moi as in baking and we've been eating that in my house everyday! I will post the recipe if yall like.

LOL moment: last Sunday, I casually mentioned to a couple people that I made obe buka, before I knew what was happening, word was out and I had about 12 people heading to my house, I decided to run away and hide at LP's crib. I got cursed out in different dialects and I eventually confessed that I was hiding at LPs. I felt really bad because I wasted every one's time and still ended up cooking. ( Next week...Mrs Olopade will be hosting us..see yall there!)We had a blast, we played American idol and I took really embarrassing pictures of the Raleigh boys playing guitars! I even have one of my Ace D1 wearing my heels!! Omo there is a charge for that one, I think I will sell it on Ebay!

I have this thing now where I say I'm going to do something and I don't, like the Sunday incident. Then there was last Saturday when I hyped everyone up to go out and I didn't show up! And last Friday, I was supposed to go to a vigil but I didn't feel like it last minute! And then last Sunday, I had every intention of going to a baby shower but bailed last minute...that is so not me! The tip of the iceberg, I missed my class on Monday! I teach MS office on Mondays at my church and I totally forgot! I was available but I just forgot all about it! My students were there waiting for me and I did not show! I am starting to piss folks off and they are not taking me seriously anymore...I am turning a new leaf!

Bode drove us to church on Sunday and spent the day with us, she was overwhelmed at how dramatic Molayo and I were, then add Oyinade and a bit of LP and DB...she kept saying WOW!!! I drove the handicap cart around the grocery store because my shoes hurt like hell...I wonder if they will take that mess back and give me a bigger one!

Remi and Sammy came over on Monday and we ate, slept and played scrabble, Remi won but I didn't care because I beat Sammy's punk ass! I made obe buka and moi moi...again!!!

Monday night we did our wing thing at Linwood Grill, I took Princess O because she loves the wings! Seyi and DB and Amaka joined the usual suspects.

I have not seen Ashandy in about...1 month...Sade you want some company? Will Rodo be available tonight at about 7pm? Princess O and I are coming for dinner!

Okay I don't think I missed anything!

A big BIRTHDAY shout out to Uncle Timi...nucka you sure is old!!!! Buhahaha

Monday, April 30, 2007


So last weekend, I decided to take my braids out, it had been in for almost 2 months and I was done to say the least!
I stayed up all night taking them out, LP helped for a hot minute but then she bounced and it was me and my skull. Finally at about 3am, I was done…. Phew!!!
I had spoken with my co-worker and she told me about some lady she knew that does a mean ass weave! I was more than excited to give her a try.

Angela: Girl she is really good but she is mad expensive
QB: What's expensive?
Angela: Like $100 but she will do a good job though
QB: Ok, make me an appointment
Angela: I’ll have her call you, her name is Woodletta

I am saying though, Angela’s hair is always on point so why not? So what if her name is Woodletta?! Plus I think $100 is more than reasonable for sewn in tracks. My guy does glue in for $80 and that is mediocre service from an arrogant, self absorbed dodi-faya, I put up with the BS because he does a hell of a job. So why not try something new? Besides I am a little traumatized from my last glue experience.

I got up quickly on Saturday and ran to the beauty supply store to pick up some tracks, I called Woodie to let her know I was running 15 minutes late, she said I should take my time because she is running late too. I got to the shop at about 10:15 for my 9:30 appointment and this heifer still hadn’t arrived. The neighborhood was terrifying! I couldn’t believe I was still in Raleigh, the place looked like a set straight from the movie Boys in da hood! Except this was Bola in the hood!! Folks out on the street corners drinking 40s out paperbags as early as 10 AM?! I wound up my window and locked my door and sat in blazing heat, from fear of being shot or robbed or both! I had half the sense to run and find someplace else to do my do, but I figured it’s sorta like Buka food back in Naija…the dirtiest spots have the best grubs so I will wait it out!

At about 11:30 this we`re comes waltzing in like she was doing me a favor. I told her I needed my edges touched up and I wanted a part on the side. I am usually very tender headed and my relaxer starts burning as soon as you put it in but this cream soufflé she doused me with did not burn at all! I asked her the brand of the relaxer and she said Bantu mild! Never heard of it….. I did not want to seem bougee so I suffered in silence. She had some slow chick wash my hair and an even slower one braid it. 5 hours later, I was given the mirror and my reflection freaked me out! I figured I would go home and fix it up. I paid her the $100 and gave the slow shampoo girl $5, the apoda that braided my hair aint getting shit! I pulled the hair back in a pony tail and noticed all the tracks were still showing. I ran my fingers down the middle and found tracks with no weave sown on it! I started to cry! I drove back to the salon and asked her why I got such a botched up job and she offered to take some hair from the back and add it to the missing line! Da hell? This is not Bosley!!! After 5 hours?! Omo I was pissed, I told her to forget it and I drove back to the beauty supply to purchased a wig. Ade, Dupe and Remi all thought I was exaggerating and the hair couldn’t be that bad. LA told me to get a second opinion before I took it out. Dupe took one look at the do and she was like “Ok…please remove it!” Remi’s mum and Ade had a field day laughing at me. I begged Ade to take it out and wore my wig out.

On Monday I decided to take the morning off and get my hair done…again! Only no beauty salons were opened so I ended up at some upscale white salon in Cary! They were very careful with their choice of words in telling me that they don’t service black hair, I was rolling at how uncomfortable and akward it was for the shop owner…Buhahahahaha!!! She finally suggested I go to JC Penny and she even called ahead for me. When I got to JC Penny they called on the stylist that would work on me and she was INDIAN! OH HELL NO!!!!!! I was so desperate I actually sat in her chair and allowed her to do my hair! $85 and 2 hours later I looked like Condoleezza Rice!! I’ll bet good money she gets her hair done at JC Penny!

Lessons learned
1. Don’t let Woodletta or any of her cousins do your hair
2. The Beyonce look is not for everybody!
3. Always have a great wig on standby for hair emergencies
4. Thoroughly inspect your hair before paying for service.
5. Stick to what you know

Friday, April 20, 2007

The Crystal ball says....
So one of my girlfriend got proposed to this past weekend and has kept it a secret because they are having some cultural difficulties…can I even call it that?
So here is the story: Boy met girl, they love each other, she is Yoruba and he is Ibo, they’ve been dating for about a year now. He proposes and she calls her folks up in Naija to tell them the splendid news! Only they did not find it so splendid. Her mum says their priest (don’t ask me what sort) looked into the matter and does not think they should get married! Egba mi! Give me a break! When will the madness stop? I am so sick and tired of blaming every idiosyncrasy on culture or on the being Nigerian, does being Nigerian not warrant having common sense? Don’t get me wrong I definitely think you should pray about your mate and seek God first in all things but this is different! Since when did they become Ms Cleo? A lot of these hungry priests have no vision whatsoever, they concoct this BS just to get a few bucks and in the process ruin a perfectly good thing. If its not some priest or Babalawo, it's our parents themselves! We love and respect our elders dearly but NEWSFLASH!!! They won’t be alive forever and they are not going live in the marital home with you, only you will have to deal with the consequences of your actions. I know they want the best for us, what parent doesn’t? But what I don’t know is that they are certain what that is. Ideally everyone seeks their parents’ blessings for their union, approval at the least, but where do we draw the line? I know one couple that broke up over the dude being Ondo and the girl Ijebu? The dude parent gave homegirl so much grief that she couldnt take it…Omo who cares!!!! They allowed their families to cloud their judgment and compromised an otherwise perfect union. Da hell? So because of some ancient beef the Olori’s of Ijebuland had with the Asiwajus of Ondo….me and my boo can’t quarve? Omo….that na long tin o!
A woman dear to my heart was going to marry a man, her parent forbade it because he was Muslim then later blessed her marriage to a Christian so to speak, only this MOFO turned out to be the greatest asswipe planet earth has ever been cursed with! Makes you wonder if she had followed her heart and what coulda, woulda, shoulda been!
Granted this madness is not limited to Nigerians, but we’ve got to break the vicious cycle and charity begins at home. Please pardon me but I am outraged at the alarming number of incidents such as these that have occurred and continue daily. My own feisty views aside, do you really think that allowing others (not God o!) to decide who you are going to spend the rest of your life with shows innate cognizance of that sort of commitment?

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Nursery School ryhmes
Aww, how totally cute! LP sent this to me the other day. Mehn..I remember all of these!!! I dont think they recite these in nursery school these days!! Does anyone have naija ones to add? I got a couple...
'Emi si wo so po waya!'
and I dont remember how this one starts but it ends...'panti e wa ka jo so'.... oooohh and the last one 'Bread and butter baskelebe ma je o gbono...baskelebe ma je o tutu...baskelebe!!!' Damn I'm hot!!! Ok maybe those arent nursery ryhmes..but warefa...got any?

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

Up Jack got
And home did trot
As fast as he could caper
Went to bed
And plastered his head
With vinegar and brown paper.

There were 12 disciples Jesus called to help Him:
Simon Peter, Andrew, James, his brother John,
Phillip, Thomas Matthew,
James the son of Alphaeus,
Thaddaeus, Simon, Judas,
and Bartholomew.

He has called us too,
He has called us too.
We are His disciples.
I am one, are you?
He has called us too.
He has called us too.
We are His disciples,
we His work must do.

Hush-a-bye, baby,
in the tree top.
When the wind blows,
the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks,
the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby,
cradle and all

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full;
One for the master,
And one for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.

Cobbler, cobbler, mend my shoe.
Get it done by half past two.
Half past two is much too late!
Get it done by half past eight.

Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs, and downstairs,
And in my lady's chamber.

There I met an old man
Who wouldn't say his prayers!
I took him by the left leg
And threw him down the stairs.

Hey, diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.

Hickory, dickory, dock,
The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The mouse ran down!
Hickory, dickory, dock.

Hot cross buns!
Hot cross buns!
One a penny, two a penny,
Hot cross buns!

If you have no daughters,
Give them to your sons!
One a penny, two a penny,
Hot cross buns!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!

Hush, little baby, don't say a word
Mama's gonna buy you a mockin'bird If that mockin'bird don't sing
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring
If that diamond ring turns brass,
Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass
If that looking glass gets broke
Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat
If that billy goat don't pull,
Mama's gonna buy you a cart and mule
If that cart and mule turn over
Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover
If that dog named Rover won't bark
Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart
If that Horse and Cart fall down,
Then you'll be the sweetest little baby in town

It's raining, it's pouring;
The old man is snoring.
Bumped his head
And he went to bed
And he couldn't get up in the morning.

Rain, rain, go away;
Come again another day;
Little Johnny wants to play.

Jack, be nimble,
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The candlestick.

Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe.

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
And can't tell where to find them.
Leave them alone, And they'll come home,
Wagging their tails behind them

London Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, Falling down.

London Bridge is falling down,
My fair lady.

Take a key and lock her up,
Lock her up, Lock her up.

Take a key and lock her up,
My fair lady.

How will we build it up,
Build it up, Build it up?

How will we build it up,
My fair lady?

Build it up with silver and gold,
Silver and gold, Silver and gold.

Build it up with silver and gold,
My fair lady.

Gold and silver I have none,
I have none, I have none.

Gold and silver I have none,
My fair lady.

Build it up with needles and pins,
Needles and pins, Needles and pins.

Build it up with needles and pins,
My fair lady.

Pins and needles bend and break,
Bend and break, Bend and break.

Pins and needles bend and break,
My fair lady.

Build it up with wood and clay,
Wood and clay, Wood and clay.

Build it up with wood and clay,
My fair lady.

Wood and clay will wash away,
Wash away, Wash away.

Wood and clay will wash away,
My fair lady.

Build it up with stone so strong,
Stone so strong, Stone so strong.

Build it up with stone so strong,
My fair lady.

Stone so strong will last so long,
Last so long, Last so long.

Stone so strong will last so long,
My fair lady.

Mary had a little lamb,
little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
Mary went, Mary went,
and everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.

1, 2

One, two, buckle my shoe;

3, 4

Three, four, knock at the door;

5, 6

Five, six, pick up sticks;

7, 8

Seven, eight, lay them straight;

9, 10

Nine, ten, a good fat hen;

Peter Piper picked a peck
Of pickled peppers;
A peck of pickled peppers
Peter Piper Picked

If Peter Piper picked a peck
Of Pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers
Peter Piper Picked?

Polly, put the kettle on,
Polly, put the kettle on,
Polly, put the kettle on,
We'll all have tea.

Sukey, take it off again,
Sukey, take it off again,
Sukey, take it off again,
They've all gone away.

Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been?
I've been to London to visit the Queen.
Pussycat, pussycat, what did you there?
I frightened a little mouse under her chair.

Rain, rain, go away,
Come again another day;
Little Johnny wants to play.

Ring-a-ring o' roses,
A pocket full of posies,
Achoo!, Achoo!
We all fall down.

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

Solomon Grundy,
Born on Monday,
Christened on Tuesday,
Married on Wednesday,
Took ill on Thursday,
Worse on Friday,
Died on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday:
This is the end
Of Solomon Grundy

Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.

This old man, he played one,
He played knick knack with his thumb,
With a
Knick, knack, paddy whack,
Give the dog a bone;
This old man came rolling home

Three blind mice,
See how they run!
They all ran after a farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife.
Did you ever see such a sight in your life,
As three blind mice?

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.

Eency, weency spider,
Crawled up the water spout.
Down came the rain
And washed the spider out.
Out came the sunshine
And dried up all the rain,
So the eency, weency spider
Crawled up the spout again.

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away.

It’s raining, it’s pouring,
The old man is snoring;
He went to bed,
And bumped his head
And couldn’t get up in the morning.

Happy Birthday Princess O!!!

I know it’s a bit late but I have been swamped lately...besides we are celebrating my baby's birthday all week!!!

I want to say a big Happy Birthday to my Princess O! Omolayo was born April 16, 2000 and became the best thing I have ever done in my life! She is the smartest, sassiest little girl anyone has ever seen. There are so many times when you wonder 'what if' but where Princess O is concerned, I cannot imagine my life without her!

I thank God for his tender mercies, it’s been a rough road but God has been consistently faithful! I thank my family and friends for their support and I thank my Raleigh folks…it does indeed take a village to raise a child!

I sooo can’t believe my baby is 7 years old! It freaks me out sometimes, that I am wholly responsible for this precious child! WOW!!! She actually wears my tee-shirts these days! Its either she is getting big or I need to stop shopping at Limited Too! LOL

Omolayo Feyintoluwa may God in his infinite mercies continue to guide and protect you. You will continue to be a source of Joy to me and all those around you. Every thing you touch will be blessed and every effort you make will prosper. You will never lack and everything its going to take (financially, emotionally, and spiritually) for me to be the best mother for you will be at my disposal in abundance all the days of my life in Jesus name. All those who curse you will be cursed and all those who bless you will be blessed.
Joy, love, peace and prosperity will seek you and dwell with you for as long as you live.
You will not be ill, you will not die young, and you will not be mocked in Jesus name…Amen!!

Happy Birthday my dear Princess O! I love you more than anything in the world!! MUAH!
Posted by Picasa

The Odds are against me but pile up enough Odds and you are Even. The inevitability of my ability to consistently overcome overwhelms me. As do the magnificence of God's grace towards me and mine. I marvel at my proximity to my destiny. I am astounded that Can't, Won't and Later disrupt my journey to greatness. A conscious decision is mine to make and christen them Can, Will and Now! My reflection gazes back at me with another challenge at hand, procrastination hinders my reaching my destination. Don't tell me where I should go till you walk in my shoes. Yesterdays mistakes are for tomorrows amends, yet I ponder on them like the hand of time changes? Mediocrity has become a comfort zone and I have turned obstacles into road-blocks rather than stepping-stones, I find myself compromising my integrity as I try to maintain the status quo. How easy it is to condemn me and defame my character, when you really should commend me, and applaud my efforts. Intimidated by my confidence, you misconstrue it as arrogance, I know who I am.... A strong, black-diamond in the rough, a female soldier, a Queen amongst her peers.. now who the hell are you?