Chronicles of a Soldier
Friday, September 29, 2006

God Bless America!!!!!!!!!!!
Turns out my court date was today, I totally forgot till about noon! I called my HR at work cause I have this legal plan in my benefits. Please tell me why they found me a lawyer ASAP as in less than 10 minutes that is going to court on my behalf to get my case continued! The hell? I love this country wahlia! I don't even have to go see the dude, he entered my name in the system and pull up all my info! That's what up! To all you Mofo POPO...Bring it on! Hey Mo, I hope you haven't paid that ticket I got on your car? Exploitation time baby!!!
It funny how once you get that one ticket....You go on a streak and they just start rolling in! Omo F&%k the POPO bring it on!!! Omobolanle Odegbami.... ugatmadrishoes!!!!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Eba mi so fun LOLA mi ko mai lo o!!!!

Olo mi Lola,
How are you? I am sure you are fine as my reliable Ace Moji keeps me informed. I am not sure how much longer we should allow this maddness to continue but I will be the older and fatter person( well I am now) and give you a public apology.
I am sorry you were offended by my words and actions on your last trip to NC. I am a very passionate person and I tend to loose my temper when I am missunderstood...you totally missunderstood me! I know we can never stop being friends but sometimes if you allow to much time to pass before mending fences you loose the parts.
I want the very best for you and you should never question that. I will admit I often get jealous of the bond between you and Moji...after all I found you first! LOL
I really miss you and I can't figure out what to wear with my grey Bebe skirt!!! Without you in my life my wardrobe would be bland!! please don't let my style be compromised and accept my apology! love you loads....believe that!

P.S. let it be known that I have the hottest phone in our crew....Pocket PC baby dont get it twisted!!!!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Wednesday Wednesday medicine
Damn it’s been a rough couple of days! I have been sick like a dog…it must be the change in weather, I had to call in again yesterday, I know my boss is tired of my ass! But mehn thank God for Remi and Nyquil! I may not have made it. It must be my meds because I found myself boo-hooing on the phone to Moji today! What happened to hard core QB…I don’t know but that heifer must be on leave for real! I hate being emotional, I hate not having control and feeling helpless ….Arrrrggggghh I hate stuff!
Ok so I am feeling better, not really but I drugged myself so now I am numb! Hehehe
Why is it 6:30 and I am the only Mofo in the office? Well today is Wednesday so I figured I work till its time to go to bible study, because if I go home peren…it’s a wrap! I have a court date in the AM, I guess my luck ran out, I wonder what they will do to my law breaking ass if I don’t show! Wait o…this is NC and POPO around hurr are pretty jobless! They come to your house with warrants for traffic violation! Note to self: Go to court or call to reschedule. I had to tell Remi about herself today! That heifer is a stubborn goat! I mean it Remi…I aint playing either…best pig or not I aint having it!
Kodak gallery is on crack…fa real! I get pictures from random folk’s show up in my gallery, I am pretty sure they don’t know I have their pictures, what scares me is the thought that some of the pictures I uploaded with no desire to share is sitting in someone’s album! Now that would be bad! I sent an email to a couple of the people…still waiting on a response. Kodak says I should just delete the pictures if I don’t want them! Ahemmmm….so not the point! Anyway…. I am rolling out…Happy Wednesday!!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Can you say BANANAS?
Last minute Friday, I decide to go to MD, I was invited to a wedding and I really needed to clear my head. I was planning on driving only if my folks would roll with me but all my kids were busy and my husband said it was impromptu, he couldn’t swing it so I abandoned my make belief family and bought a plane ticket. Remi was flying too so Moji arranged it so we’d roll together. Please tell me why my bargain hunting ass paid half of what Remi paid for my ticket? Hehehehe…that’s hot!

Aii so our in-law Babiluwe came to pick us up from the airport….hold up rewin…. Did I mention I am terrified of flying now? Yep officially I am chicken and my heart sits on my throat the entire trip! Remi kept trying to calm my ass but Omo…I was two blinks away from crying! Aint scared of dying …just don’t want to go out like a punk! Pardon me for digressing. Eh hen….so we drove to Babiluwe’s crib and chilled there for a bit. I was hungry again! Damn! Never mind the fact that Remi bought me breakfast at the Airport o! We had an early lunch at Queensway! FYI…If you are hiding or there is a warrant for your arrest, please do not go to Queensway! The POPO are waiting outside to scoop your ass and word is INS is putting their office across the street! I mean the hell? Errrybody and their ancestors be up in that micky flick! una no get pot? Yet I digress again! Ok so after eating like famine was coming, Babiluwe drove me down to Owings Mills to chill with my Ace Mo. I gisted with Moji and her visitors from Jand for a polite minute and I went to sleep! I was up till 3:30am talking on the phone! Bisola Oshipitan….loose my number!

At about 7pm, I realize I need to get ready for the wedding, Bunmi’s family is very popular so it’s going to be a memorable Rara. I drove Moji’s car down to the party (45 minutes away!) Remi and Babs were already there and I saw all my MD peeps. It was a beautiful ceremony. Folks were looking VICIOUS in their trads! It was food galore and lots of eye candy…if you catch my drift! My brother in-law was in the building and I did not even know he was coming, he sprayed me money…and I did not even dance! Hehehehe. So I did my mingling for about 2 hours and congratulated the newlyweds and I was outtie. Very nice wedding, well organized and entertaining. Bunmi and Segun…yall have a happy life and plenty babies!!


How about I got a ticket? Yes o, apparently, I parked in a bad spot and they gave me a $50 ticket! Moji is going to have a seizure when her anal, law abiding ass sees this ri-hurr!

Moji and I went to Jesus House B’more on Sunday, it was a nice service as usual and I got to see Seyi Oresegun and her beautiful son! Shame on me for not visiting first! Elisa joined Moji and I at Gertrude’s Bistro for lunch and we spent the next couple hours at the Baltimore Art Gallery….hate to toot my own horn (who am I kidding? No I don’t) but those artist have nothing on me! In my opinion Dali was high when he did his works and Picasso just made a bunch of mistakes and called it art! I sat on the Buddha exhibit and Elisa started casting out demon! LOL. We had an absolute blast. Ok so I forgot my memory card so we had to use Elisa’s 0.0000007 megapix ancient 1922 camera!

I made obe buka for dinner and Moji forced us to eat at the table! Tobi (Elisa’s man) joined us for dinner then we watched Flavor Flav!!! I am sickened by the fact that I enjoy this show so much! Please tell me why NewYork reminds me of this chick I know! I aint mentioning any names either!

So we all crashed at like 1am, only to get up at 5am and drive to Elisa’s house! Tobi took me to the airport. It took us about 1hour 45 minutes to get there…I sooo do not miss MD!
I nearly missed my flight but Remi checked me in already so I was able to make it! Dayo scooped Remi and I from the airport and I did not get to my office till 11am...what else is new? I had fun this weekend mehn!

Friday, September 22, 2006

Happy Birthday Praise!!!!!!!!!!!!

Praise is my favorite little boy, I love him to bits and he is super cute! Happy birthday my Prince!! It's on at ChuckECheeze tonight boy!!!!
This is for the grown kids only...no one under age 4 will be admitted!!! Muah!!!! Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Happy Birthday Yetti!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Yetunde !!! Happy Birthday love, you know how they say its the thought that matters? Well...I thought your birthday was tomorrow! HEHEHE
On this day and always
May God be with you.
Direct your path and order your steps.
Anoit you with endless grace!
Embarrass you with favor
And most importantly, may your man be as hot as mine (hehehe)
I met this ele on LVIPlist 5 years ago to be exact, but it feels like I've know her forever, she is my voice of reason, whenever I feel the need to do something stupid (quite often)! Her wisdom is far beyond her years and she is so damn talented it make you sick.

Yetunde, remember........... there are many imitators but you are the originator!
Be blessed miha!

Yetti' Blog

Monday, September 18, 2006

This weekend
How about I went to the Sprint store with Dewunmi on Friday to get my Treo and while the dude was programming the phone my other phone went off! It was sooo embarrassing Dewunmi was acting like he didn’t know me!! I have this Fuji Rasmoboge ringer on my phone! “Se o de nig be phone yen ni, so de nig be phone yen…yara gbe phone yen!” LOL
Don’t get it twisted I love the ringer die but it was very quiet in the store and folks got whiplash trying to find the source of that ghetto music…..I loved it! Sorry Dewunmi!!

Remi and I spent Friday night at Shade’s her hubby was out of time so we kept her company…it was really weird! We watched this Naija movie that Shade insisted was really good…three hours later we were still waiting for the good part! Then we argued the rest of the evening about the correct pronunciation of Medieval….that was funny!!!! We called everyone to ask how they thought it should be pronounced! Did I mention it was like 2am! Buhhahahahaha. Talk about some incoherent MOFOS! LOL some folks hung up on us sef! How about bukky emailed me this morning asking what kind of crack I was on…calling her that late for crap! HEHEHEHE
To everyone we called…Sorry now, but Shade argues to damn much and I had to prove her wrong!

At about 3AM we finally came to an agreement to disagree and we called it a night!
I had Amala for breakfast! Yup sure did! Shade had some ewedu and I hadn’t eaten that in like forever so I made some Amala and threw down. We ran wedding and baby shower errands all day long then we went to do our final fitting for Remi’s wedding!
I convinced Shade to switch the punch bowl set she gave me for my birthday for this beautiful comforter set….loving it! Jerry wanted to follow me home and spend the night…baffled the hell out of me considering how I stress his life. I made jollof rice and obe buka and washed princess O’s hair. I got a call from my Marlboro boss asking me to work…omo…I say I no gree abi na by force? I’m on a week long strike so call me on Monday and we’ll see…Omobolanle…you are sooooo spoilt!

Sunday morning I got Molayo ready for her big day…she has been stressing everyone out about her performance in church this Sunday. Denrele took her and Jeremiah to church. I rushed to get there because I did not want to miss my baby’s performance. They killed it…I was so proud! It was a riot watching 6 years old kids do the snap your fingers dance!! They all had on this JCCI tee-shirt and jeans…it’s a beautiful thing to watch your kid get really excited about God!

My kids, less Oyinade (sleeping), all came over my house Sunday afternoon, Dammy’s brother and their friend joined them, then later Shade and Fola came by to get Jeremiah. Bunmi and Ariyo came by also…it was a full house, we watched TV and ate Jollof rice.

Denrele and I watched Flavor Flav...oya I confess it has become a guilty pleasure of mine, it was hella funny!!!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

I pledge to Nigeria my Country.....46 years!!!

My boy is doing big things o!

Go support his efforts and show your patriotism for Nigeria our country!

Yall know October 1st is our Independence day and Naija will be ........46!!! Thats Major!!!

So log on to www.nseffect.com and cop yours now!!!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Been gone for a minute
I haven’t been inspired to blog of late, partly because nothing interesting comes to mind but also because I have been in and out of a FUNK!

Pissed like hell today! This hasn’t been my day at all! I was in the best moods yesterday but today it went down the drain when I got another ticket this morning…I mean so what if I parked in the handicapped spot? We don’t have no handicapped MOFOs in my building! Plus I have on heels that prevents me from walking long distances, that’s got to count as handicap right? The messed up part is that I have been parking there from Day 1 so why today? That’s another $100 down the damn drain! Lord please help me help myself and follow little rules so I do not put my self in such a funk! Amen.

So yesterday I hit the jackpot, omo if you have Sprint, invest in the monthly insurance, its sooooo worth it. Finally after waiting patiently but anxiously, I received my PPC 6700 in the mail! Omo that phone is sweet! I went by the sprint store to give them even more hell and they swapped my old palm one phone for the Treo 650!!! I was on cloud nine….the little things that make me happy! Aight so now I have both my lines working and two Bunz phones to go with it! My name is Bola and I am a certified PIMP!!! Turns out the only thing I know how to use on this extremely complicated phone is the SMS messaging crap, so I decide to text everybody I could remember their number just to say hey! HEHEHEEH Omobolanle find a freaking hobby! So I told Dupe and Remi I can’t talk to them anymore because their phones suck! Buhahahahaha
You know I had to call Mo and gloat, it was fun man!

***side track*** Yetunde, everyday I pray for the kind of patience that you have because you continue to blow my mind with your wisdom and tolerance for blatant BS! May God continue to help you….........and me too***end of side Track***.

But I digress… eh hen….See me see wahala o! I dropped Omolayo off at the bus stop with the other kids and I decide to wait till he bus comes then head back home. My shameless car started making noise; you know that screeching sound from a bad fan belt? Any way some bratty little rug rat was like “ewww what is that noise” Omolayo turned beet red, and gave me the look like ‘Oh hell na” I changed my gear to park and the noise stopped then the same kid rolled her eyes and said ‘Thank God’ I swear if her mama was not standing there.....so help me God. So I had to move for oncoming traffic and the screeching continued “The kids start laughing and said “not again!”. Omolayo walked to my car and said “mummy you are embarrassing me, please turn off your AC” Eya…my poor kid! Yall know my ass has no shame, shuuu I don fixed that mess twice already, and that noise does not really bother me but Mehn I just disgraced my Princess O! That’s it we are going to Auto Zone this weekend!

Big ups to Vicky, she had a baby! Yup Fickitoria of Raleigh gave birth to a baby boy! 10 lbs 4 ounces!

I am on strike from my Malboro job; they screwed up my check so I am not working till they fix it! It’s hard though because I miss my crew which has increased btw, my goal is to get the attention of the Equal Opportunity Employment advocates who for a change will challenge the fact that there are too many Nigerians on staff! HEHEHEHEHE that will be a good one! But seriously…. I need to teach them a lesson…Don’t ever mess with the Queen B’s Dough..she might cut ya!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

WTF is this?

Okay so you know I have been whining about my phone issues for months? Main reason was that I really wanted a Treo, I wanted to be able to text and keep the history without having to delete crap, and I also wanted to send video clips and obscene photos to my boo (kidding)…hehehe!
Aight so after contemplating dropping $400 for a Treo, I decided I would settle for the next best thing or so I thought…HITACHI G1000 POCKET PC, I found one on Ebay and my dumb ass read the specks and was in awe! I showed Moji who is the most techy of my friends, she invests in the plasmas and the Treos and I-PODs a real gizmo queen! Moji told me she loved it and she would trade her Treo 650 for the Hitachi; Confirmed, I had to have it, so I dished out $170 and waited patiently for my newest phone to arrive.
Somebody call the POPO cause Queenb has just been punked! Are you freaking kidding me? I swear I nearly had a stroke when I received my phone! It was a mini laptop wider than a calculator, bigger than a cordless! Heavy as hell and the shit was HUGE!!!

I showed my friends and it was a Riot! I swear that shit came out in 1978 the same year I was born! I emailed the dude and he asked me to return it and he would give me my money back! I took a picture cause ironyin oto afojuba! I now have the PPC 6700 not a Treo but not a laptop either!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


Got a weird call from my mum Sunday morning, she kept asking if I was ok....huh...yeah!
Then she told me of some horrible dream and how she was worried about me. Are dreams really relevant? I am not too sure because I have some of the weirdest dreams sometimes. I think dreams are reflections of what goes on in our lives. For example the other day I dreamt, I was really famous and Mofos were asking for my autograph! I like that dream!! Hehehe, then there was the time I dreamt I drowned! I can vividly remember how it felt too, its wasn’t painful or horrible like one would imagine rather it seemed easier to just let go, so I did and I was at peace, almost like fighting sleep after you've taken Percocet and how you are totally relaxed. Lola says that it just means that I am giving up! Hmmm maybe. It’s not a regular thing with me though; I probably have a dream once every 6 months ....if that. Sometimes a good dream is like a movie and you dont want it to end and if you wake up you try to go back to sleep so you can continue the dream...very weird!
I know mumsy always told us to never eat in our dream cause its demonic and having sex in your dream is a no no too, you must quickly pray and cast out all demons! How about folks that talk in their sleep? What does that mean? Not sure if I do it but my best Pig does! All the time! And so does Molayo! Buhahaha that shit is funny because my baby will carry a whole conversation like she is talking to somebody! It used to freak me out but now I just turn her and she stops. I remember when I was like 12 I woke up to pee except I passed the bathroom and all the other rooms in our house and planted myself on the kitchen chair and handled my business. My mum was sitting in the living room when she heard she came in the kitchen to find me butt naked at our breakfast table! She beat the shit out of me! I could have sworn I was on the toilet, even pulled my pants down and shit! LOLI am not so sure if there is any significance to the dreams we have or how to interpret some of the most bizarre dreams but mehn!

Oya.... tell me your dreams!

The Odds are against me but pile up enough Odds and you are Even. The inevitability of my ability to consistently overcome overwhelms me. As do the magnificence of God's grace towards me and mine. I marvel at my proximity to my destiny. I am astounded that Can't, Won't and Later disrupt my journey to greatness. A conscious decision is mine to make and christen them Can, Will and Now! My reflection gazes back at me with another challenge at hand, procrastination hinders my reaching my destination. Don't tell me where I should go till you walk in my shoes. Yesterdays mistakes are for tomorrows amends, yet I ponder on them like the hand of time changes? Mediocrity has become a comfort zone and I have turned obstacles into road-blocks rather than stepping-stones, I find myself compromising my integrity as I try to maintain the status quo. How easy it is to condemn me and defame my character, when you really should commend me, and applaud my efforts. Intimidated by my confidence, you misconstrue it as arrogance, I know who I am.... A strong, black-diamond in the rough, a female soldier, a Queen amongst her peers.. now who the hell are you?