Chronicles of a Soldier
Thursday, June 28, 2007

I am a major fan of Crocs, you know the shoes that look like a crocodile? They are extremely comfortable and convenient. So I ran into a pair a few months ago and I bought them and they have been my knock about ever since.
So I was out shopping again and I saw a pair for Omolayo, she is my biggest fan so she likes for us to dress alike or do the same hairstyle (don’t ask me why) Anyway I got home and I was sure she would be beside herself that I had gotten her a pair of Crocs like mine. She looked at me and said thanks but I did not see any excitement or joy on her face it was more like a WTF look! So I asked her if she didn’t like her crocs and she goes “Mummy these are not Crocs!” da hell? Whadaya mean? I told her that that’s what they are called and I even have a pair! “Newsflash mummy…..yours are not Crocs either!” I had a blank confused look on my face and she seemed hesitant to finish “Mummy your shoes are fake! Crocs have Alligator on the side…these don’t…they are fake!”
“Egbami! You smoke gbana? Who told you that?!”, “Everybody wears them in school mummy but they have Alligators on it, I’ll wear them but they are not Crocs! Thank you anyway!” And she walked away leaving me dumbfounded Wunmi and I exchanged looks like what the hell just happened? How do kids know these things? Molayo is not even into clothes at all, she is indifferent about shopping, she’d rather have a Barbie anyday so this was a shock to me. I guess mine are Crooks…LOL

Monday, June 25, 2007

Howdy Blogville! I am not sure what possessed me but I followed my friends to Tennessee this past weekend! I knew we would have fun but I never anticipated the scary ass ride down there! It was totally my idea to take off 3am; I figured we’d get there around 10am and have plenty time to relax before the wedding. Oh yeah…it was a wedding Jean’s brother was getting married (Jean, Remi and I all went to high school together). Anywho I crashed at Ade’s because she was closest to our meeting venue. She woke me up at 230 and we were out. I left my phone at Ade’s so we went back there to get it. We finally start our trip but not before I gassed up on some coffee as I was driving the first leg of the trip. It wasn’t bad at all at least not until four hours later and we entered the mountains! Good Lawd! It was some kind of scary! Rocks everywhere!! And to make matters worse, 18 wheeler trucks were speeding by me like they were going to hit me! I started freaking out and Remi took over the driving! Phew! I didn’t sleep sha o! I was in awe of the view and I whipped out my camera to take pictures. We finally arrived at our hotel and I went in to check in, the lady at the counter made an error in checking me in and she started cursing and I stared at her shocked…..as in are you serious right now? Remi came in to see what was taking so long and I told her what happened, she picked up the complaint forms and started filling it out. The lady apologized profusely and redeemed herself by upgrading us to a bigger room with 3 double beds! I really need to take notes on how to handle such situations, I was ready to curse the lady out, I told her cursing at your customers was unprofessional and I will need to speak with her manager. We felt sorry for the poor lady and she couldn’t stop apologizing, she asked Remi not to file a complaint.

We were all starving so we went to the restaurant at the hotel to get some food. We sat there for about 2 hours gisting and carrying on looking all kinds of crazy! The food was da bomb! The service…even better. After we were stuffed we decided to check out the mall! We stopped at this boutique were they had really nice things at affordable prices, we all went bananas and started shopping, then we headed to Belk were they were having an amazing shoe sale, we did some more shopping then headed back to the hotel to get ready. We took turns bathing and we dressed quickly! I have gained ridiculous weight since the last time I wore this dress and my boobies just wouldn’t stay in place! Note to self (Stop eating so damn much!) Remi tied all our gele’s and I did everyone’s make-up!

We got to the reception right on time and settled in our seats, they had little snacks on each table to nibble on. Bunmi, another Apata alumni, was the hostess and she did a good job getting everyone’s attention. There was a variety of really good food on the menu, I took a little of everything and stuffed myself once again…..now I need a nap! I told everyone I was going to take a nap in the car and I was gone for the rest of the party! I was so tired, I reclined the seat in our car and dosed off! Funmi came at about 11pm to tell me the party was over. I followed her back in and we all chatted with Jean and Bunmi for another hour then headed back to our hotel. There were lot of great party favors, we all got an extra gele for buying gele ebi and Remi got Ankara for buying aso ebi. I racked up on Tupperware and we were each given a plate of food to go! We headed back to the hotel and went to sleep.
I slept through most of the drive home, Dupe and Ade did the driving and we got back to NC at about 430pm.

More pictures later

Monday, June 18, 2007

I step closer to the cure!

Charity work makes you feel so damn good! I am trying to get in the habit of doing it more often (charity work that is!). Thanks to Funmi, we participate annually in the Walk for the cure, her company is one of the sponsors and they invite us to join in their efforts every year! Granted it’s early as hell on a Saturday but I really don’t mind doing it because it is fun as well as fulfilling! Anywho I made it there early this time, I even found legal parking. A bunch of us showed up to help out! Funmi’s boss is mad cool, very humble and loves it when I boss everyone around! There were loads of freebies from several companies. Who know next year I might actually walk…but wait o..did I say that last year? I mean it this time sha!

Friday, June 15, 2007

There is this lady in my office whose husband comes by to see her everyday! Brings her lunch then swings by to pick her up after work! Mind you they both ride scooters to work o! So its not like he need to give her a ride! Is that cute or what! I am sitting there observing them from the window, he backs her laptop and secures her safely on her scooter then he gets on his and they ride home. She is a short, full figured, Asian woman…cute as a button with demure character and I swear he is a Brad Pitt’s clone!! I soooo want to take their picture so you see what I mean, but its way too early to get fired!

The other day he comes in and she tells him she has to work late, he looked really disappointed like the best part of his day was his ride home with his wife...then he promised to ride back to pick her up in a couple hours…AWWW!!!

He is always very friendly and addresses me by my first name, I like it when people do that its so personal that is the opposite of impersonal abi? Anyhow as I drove home yesterday they were both riding right behind me and I swear I almost bashed my car watching them from my side mirrors. At each traffic light he would ask her if she was alright and she would nod alright. My 8 minutes drive home was so mushy I felt like I had just seen ‘The Notebook’ a second time!
Out of curiosity I asked them how long they’ve been married and he answers “8 years!” Alleluia romance still lives!!!

I have never seen Nigerian men display that kind of affection towards their women…And why the hell not?!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Where you at?
Damn it’s been a minute! Lets see here...Alot has been happening mehn!! I haven’t had the time nor the will to blog. I have moved residences...AGAIN! I know its retarded moving every year but hey...can’t help it! I finally moved the last of my things last night..omo this na real stress o! So let me gist you small...I contacted this company that provides labor for my move...for some $15 per hour but for some reason when it was time for me to move the office was closed. So I am driving down the street and I see this Kokoye (is that derogatory?) I asked him if he wanted to help me move and he said yeah so I put him in my car, then he leads me down some alley to get a couple more. This one dude was reeking of alcohol like he showered with it so I asked him to bounce, he threw a hissy fit and insisted on bus fare back to his spot, I gave him $2 in change cause that was all the cash I had and he finally gets down. He threw the money at me and whipped out his uncircumcised penis! da hell! When I got back to my crib everyone was rolling and the called me an idiot for going alone and for being a cheap ass...not my fault jare...the whole of Raleigh was sick of me moving and I really couldn’t afford proper movers considering I lost my job about a month ago! Yes o! BTW.... Since some Nosey mofo was so pressed to hear gist he called my former employer digging for information, I will fill you in (all you had to do was ask...Amebo Oshi!!) Anywho.... My company was downsizing, I saw it coming because there were a lot of closed doors and unexpected visit from the head honchos, what I did not know was how soon! So I got the axe, so did 7 other folks in my office. I should have been sad but I was perfectly calm and took it extremely well, my boss joked that he thought we might need security after they told me the news. I was technically employed through the month of May but he told me I did not have to come in, plus I would receive severance and shit! So that is how I lost my, have your own office, show up at 11am, leave at 5 and earn the same amount as the infamous master degree holder job! Who knew!
Reality that my severance period was fast approaching drove me back into job search...and I am officially newly employed...do you still doubt that I am highly favored? To God be the glory!
so at this new gig, I have to be in but 7:45 and smile like I won the lottery all damn day long, I swear my jaw is hurting from the stupid grin I have been sporting. I am not naturally a smiley person, infact I frown sef, its not intentional but that is my face dammit! So now I have to make a conscious effort to smile and be pleasant from 745 till 5, God help those that have to deal with me after hours! Buhahahaha

What was I saying sef? Ok so I moved. I have a bunch of pictures to put up! Birthday shout outs to send! Announcements to make ETC
Let me start with the birthdays! My baby girl LP, My best Pig Remi, Bayo my little brother, Bode, Tolu Peter and Paul...and anyone else I may have forgotten.
How about we planned a little birthday party for Remi, we were all going to hide in her crib and surprise her but everyone was late getting there except Ade! We had a blast anyway...I have to orgarnize my pictures

A big shout out to my baby sister Oyin on her graduation from high school! I am sooo proud of you sorry I could not come out to share your special day but I am sure big sis and mumsy represented to the utmost! Good luck as you move on to bigger and better things, just don’t do PHD like Sister Nikky (that shit make you crazy!!!)

I don’t know what is going on o but I have gained a lot of weight! As in a lot! I can even front like I am a medium anymore! I am not doing anything different, I think my metabolism is slowing down.... after all I am nearing the big 30!

Anyway, That all for now, I will be back with more gists, like my drunken episode last Saturday..God help me! I don’t understand why I even drink alcohol sef, I hate the taste and smell plus I have a low tolerance! I don’t apologize often but when I do its sincere so to all the folks I abused verbally and physically on Saturday…my bad!
I got an email today that’s got me all excited but for the first time I am keeping on the DL…stay tuned sha cause you know my ass can’t keep a secret!
Aii folks…gotta run now, I need to go arrange my shoes!

Thanks Ade for bring it to my attention!
How can I forget Debs boy! Happy birthday boo boo...I swear if you were not Remi's little brother I would sooo do you! This Mofo is the funniest person I have ever met, you should sooo do stand up!

The Odds are against me but pile up enough Odds and you are Even. The inevitability of my ability to consistently overcome overwhelms me. As do the magnificence of God's grace towards me and mine. I marvel at my proximity to my destiny. I am astounded that Can't, Won't and Later disrupt my journey to greatness. A conscious decision is mine to make and christen them Can, Will and Now! My reflection gazes back at me with another challenge at hand, procrastination hinders my reaching my destination. Don't tell me where I should go till you walk in my shoes. Yesterdays mistakes are for tomorrows amends, yet I ponder on them like the hand of time changes? Mediocrity has become a comfort zone and I have turned obstacles into road-blocks rather than stepping-stones, I find myself compromising my integrity as I try to maintain the status quo. How easy it is to condemn me and defame my character, when you really should commend me, and applaud my efforts. Intimidated by my confidence, you misconstrue it as arrogance, I know who I am.... A strong, black-diamond in the rough, a female soldier, a Queen amongst her peers.. now who the hell are you?