Chronicles of a Soldier
Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I am sooooo tired, I thank God today is Friday! I don't feel like doing shit! I am at work trying to complete everything so perhaps I can leave early....But it doesn't look too good, I am actually looking forward to hanging with my girls tonight! As for right now, no excitement really except for this one girl who had her monthly visitor surprise the hell out of her and me too! We were trying to resolve some employee issues and she planted herself on the chair in my office, when she got up there was the red sea, live and direct. She ran to the ladies room and left the chair, she came back to clean it up but its still gross as hell! Yeah yeah I'm a woman too but Damn! I am swapping chairs mehn!

Okay, I am going to the cleaners now, I hope the were I ran into last week is not there. How about I took my native to the cleaners and I needed to pick it up the next day, the woman told me it was not ready and I should come back in an hour, I was bummed, I looked around only to see my baffs nice and crisp on the rack in the back room. I pointed out that it was ready and she insisted I still come back later! The f#%k? Lady if you don't know...Ask somebody!!! I barged in the back room grabbed my baffs of the rack and asked her if she wanted me to pay her or just leave. She was pissed, she mumble a whole lot of profanity under her breath as I paid her and I was outtie. So maybe today we'll kiss and make-up besides, I would hate for them to mistakenly burn my isale apoti! My name is Bola, I am a confessed aggressor...I need to chill out before I pop another blood vessel.

Toyosi is in town, we hung out with Dayo boy last night, had dinner at Pei Wei then caught a late movie...Adam Sandler...funny as hell! Busola get's in tonight...Omo its on! MO and LA....you are sooooo missing...hehehehehe
Have yourself a fabulous weekend and stay crunked!

Monday, June 26, 2006

Uncle Segun is 50!
Damn my weekend was hot! I mean stressful but hot. I decided to eat Chinese for dinner Friday night, it rained really bad and I left work early, after scooping Princess O from camp, we went to the mall in search for jewelry for one of my girlfriends, ended up shopping for myself; Omolayo was more than frustrated with me. I finally went home at about 9pm. Remi’s mum called me to come to Uncle Segun’s house. I stayed there for another couple hours doing Jack Shit. We all finally left and headed to my house. Uncle Segun was having this huge party so his family and friends were in town. Remi’s mum and Aunt crashed at my crib. On Saturday I went to Seun’s house, she is having her naming ceremony today as well. I played with the boys, Peter and Paul and Praise, then I helped Seun with the party prep and she held me hostage till about 2pm. I headed home to change for her party, I settled for an outfit that made me look like big bird….native is not really my forte but hey. I arrived at the gathering at about 5pm, Dayo boy was just getting there as well so we took the elevator up together, Remi, Ade, Funmi and the rest of the Raleigh crew were getting ready to leave. I quickly got my grub to go and we all headed to the hall for the extravaganza later that night! It was already decorated, nothing left to do, and we lounged there for a bit then headed home.

Omolayo was spending the night with her friends, so I dropped her off.
At about 10pm, Dupe and Funmi and Dammy came over my crib to get ready for the party; we decided to ride together because no one wanted to drive. Remi’s Aunty hooked up our gale. We arrived at the party a little before midnight; yes o it was an all nighter. Everyone was looking radiant! There was food galore! Yay for me! I sat at a table with familiar faces, across from Dayo girl and Ashandy. We had a hell of a good time, the best Owambe in ages!!! I spent the better part of the evening caking outdoors. I came in later and joined the fun how about some dude asked me for my number, he looked well in his 40s…the hell? omo I do not do geriatric! I told him I had a man and he would be upset if he saw me talking to some dude, but he insisted he should be my man! HAHAHA Naija mehn and their lyrics “I’ll take care of you my dear” ….will somebody please call the police! Somebody got away from assisted living o! HEHEHEHE I served the high table and Bisoye, Baba and Dammy (Uncle Segun’s kids) were clowning me that I wouldn’t get a tip because I screwed their orders up….the hell? But for real I couldn’t be a waitress, I kept forgetting what the asked for!
I took mad pictures of everyone. Remi’s man was in town so she left early but Ade, the Banjizzy and I were there till 6 AM!
The plan was to go to church in the AM but mehn…I was one kind of tired. I slept till about 11:30am, then I woke up cause remi’s Aunt and her friends were leaving and I had to give them directions, after they left I slept some more. Remi’s mum asked me to drive her around, she mentioned fresh fish so I jumped up, showered and we were out, we scooped Dammy on the way. We went to the flea market and then the fish market. We headed down to Remi’s House. I made the fish stew and rice. Funmi, Dupe, Tuoyo Femi, Ade, Shade all came over and we ate and chilled.
How about Wal-Mart is the new hang out spot! Remi’s sister in-law was around so we drove down to Wal-Mart and did not get back till midnight! I feel sorry for myself because I have to work in the morning!!! It was a very nice weekend…for shizzle!

More Pictures!!!!

Friday, June 23, 2006

babies everywhere
To all my friends who God has blessed this year with a bundle of joy and in one case two, may God give you all you will need to be fabulous parents. I owe you all a visit, tell the babies Sister Bola says hey!!!

Femi Akerele
Seyi and Ibukun
Funmi and Shade
Victoria and Kunle

And all the expectant mums, may your delivery be as pleasurable as the conception. (hehehehe) ok maybe not quite but you know what I mean.

Bukky Ogundehin

And to those waiting on the Lord for their precious one…..may your expectations not be cut short. My you have just cause to glorify HIS name! Amen!!

Thank God its Friday o! For real, I have about had it with this week, I mean the hell? Some body need to pass the memo that we is fee now! I have beem working like a run away slave all week long, I beg leeefff me jare!
Okay so last night I scooped Princess O from camp and dammy from my crib and we went to them Remi's crib, we were all going to Ashandy's for dinner, it is promised to be an evening of great food and gists. how about I burned the rice and ate it anyway, then I ate pounded yam mean for Dammy, omo I really need to slow down o! I dropped Remi off at about 11pm, i did not get home untill 11:30. One would think I would take my ass straight to bed but nooooo I decided to cake for anothe hour on the phone. E wanted to know my purpose for advertising on HI5! Advertising...thats what he called it! OMG, i explained to him that I meet a wad of people from back in the day and keep in touch with my friends. He asked me if my blog did not do that for me already, besides I could use my phone, call folks if I really want to be in touch with them. I could see that I was not winning this arguement so I told him I was tired and I needed to sleep and we would discuss this in the AM. Sho, I never saw it as advertising o! Infact, I dont think I have made any new connection male or female since I joined. I have had a few high school peeps holla but that about it. I just see it as another symptom of my "desperate need for attention" syndrome.
Do you HI5? I guess you can't answer that since i disabled my coments and shit....oh well, I know a rack of folks that do, even married folks sef...whats the big deal? I beg let me go and add a new picture jare. Send me a friend request...I just might accept!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I too dey eat!
Tell me why I just inhaled a foot long sandwich? Granted I was hungry as hell but damn! I ran to this small deli down the street from my office and got a Turkey and Ham Sub (foot long) with everything on it, hold the olives (eww). They cut it in two, first I ate the first half....nothing then I finished the other half and drank a 20oz minute maid and now I am just sick! I mean Damn Miha!!! foot long! Is my stomach even that big? Don't answer that! I am about to pull a eating disorder stunt now to ease me of my discomfort!
Inu mi deru bami gan!!!

Ole, Barawo, Thief!!!
So last week right, I wake up to find my phone beeping, indicating it needed to be charged; I was baffled because, it was plugged in all night. My damn charger had broken! Oh hell to the no! I had had it with this phone. I was trying to be savy and paid a fortune for a crack head PDA phone that gets on my damn nerves. I had a plan.

I called my carrier and told them I had misplaced my phone, hell why not? I have been paying 5 par insurance for like 2 years now so I beggi! I was told they would send me a refurbished phone…the same one! Kai I have been punked! The same one ke? Which would mean I would still have to buy a new charger? The lady put me on hold and came back with “ahem, I am sorry you insurance policy does not cover loss or theft” Say werrin? You mean to tell me that I just sat on the phone for the past hour explaining in the best Fone I could for squat? Mean while the phone had been suspended so if anyone finds it they couldn’t use it! Yepa!! E gba mi O! teef no good O!

Aight so what exactly does my insurance cover? Water damage or malfunction…Okay, I will be back. It took me a good week to devise a plan. I got a glass of water, sat it on my desk and allowed my phone marinate for 8 hours then I called the carrier up yesterday, couldn’t get through so I drove there after work. I told the lady I found my lost phone in my kitchen sink, I was soaking my dishes for the past week and it must have fallen inside. Ooops its water damaged now so can I get a replacement? How about I not only have to pay the $50 deductible, I now have to wait 5-7 days for them to ship me a replacement phone! Again same Phone still no damn charger! I was mad frustrated. I really need to tap my conniving genes next time and come up with a more ingenious plan. So I changed from irate customer mode to vulnerable, helpless twit mode and asked the dude if there was anything I could do to get a phone tonight, without coming out the pocket. He told me the cheapest phone in the store was $200, I don’t qualify for a rebate or a new customer discount…unless, I add a line, if I did then he could give me a new camera, speaker LG phone. Who gives a flying F%$K about camera and speaker omo just give me phone and I’ll be fine. So I signed a new 2 year contract, got a new local phone number and a new phone. I left a message on my other phone for callers to call my new line pending the time I get my replacement. I learned my lesson. The US of A is designed for crooks like me. I am ashamed; being cheap has cost me my livelihood for 7 whole days! I mean, yes I have a land line and a phone in my office but so what! I never realized how essential my phone was to my life! My name is Bola…I am a fraud…I have repented from my fraudulent ways…I will…after I get my new phone! HEHEHEHE

Monday, June 19, 2006

Another weekend in Raleigh
Hmm what a weekend! I decided to scrap my braids Friday night and trade them in for my signature punk do. I met up with Gbemi at the shop and Remi came by to keep me company while I do my hair. I decided to do the color thing I had tried at home professionally. So homegirl applied some crap to the front portion of my hair and before I knew what was going on, I was officially blond!!! Bloggville…we have a problem!
I was on freak out mode and Nicole(stylist) assured me that we were just lifting the dark color off my hair and we would apply something else….Phewwwww, I’m fin to say!
Aight so several hours later, my har is auburn in front and black everywhere else, not quite the shade I was going for but it will work.

Saturday morning, I picked Ade up from the gym, shouldn’t I be going with her to the gym….hmmm maybe next week! We went to the mall, I had to return some playdoh the Mac lady was trying to set me up with….I think Mac is over rated o jare, apart from their shadows which are to die for, make Mac find a cliff! Will a Mary Kay consultant holla at me! I am hooked. With the Mary Kay compact powder you never look like you dipped your face in Fondue!

Ade and I roamed the mall for a couple hours then I had to go to Ashandy’s, she had put my name on Jollof Rice for the cookout she was having later in the day. I dropped Princess O off at Remi’s (Ashandy scares the hell out of my kid) How about the cook out was supposed to start at 2pm and that is when I started cooking rice!


Ashandy is hosting us O! BBQ and things on Saturday June 17th at her crib.

5404 ################### 27616

She has asked that I invite all her favorite people so be there!

It starts at 2pm so please don't be fashionable late or you will be fashionable hungry!

Chef Boladee will be in the building!

DJ...Folipepe will be in our mix!

Bring whatever you want!

Dress code: Picnic so save your baffs for ya mama

Call Remi, Ashandy or myself for directions.

For all you Shayo bastards, there will be plenty to shack!

And Oh...if you were thinking of bringing a friend....DON'T!

See yall Saturday!

The cook out was fun as hell! Dayo boy was on the grill and Dupe took over later. We danced to old school jams…hell I tried to dance (can’t dance for shit!) and played Ludo, Remi is the reigning champion (I hate that Damn game!). I had a really good time!

Sunday morning my phone was going bananas…it was Remi, apparently Big Seg has been married 21 years in conjunction with his birthday there was a thanksgiving service at his church. So I did not go to my regular church on Sunday we went to his. It was…..different! But the highlight of my day was the food after, I mean Good Gawd, it was one kind of good! Besides my being greedy as hell, there is this special kinda hunger pang you get after a Sunday sermon, if you know what I mean and the food they served after hit the spot!
A lady Remi knew invited us to a surprise party she was throwing for her husband’s 40th birthday. But peep this…I was the most surprised MOFO in the building…I will spare you the details. To calm my troubled mind I drank half a cup of Hennessey and I was nice for the remainder of the evening. I started talking shit and scoping one particular dude that was tickling my fancy. He was a rugged rude boy in a lets go for a ride in my okada kind of way, no worries I shall refurbish him; he will be an OG in no time! HEHEHEHEEHEHE. For the most part the weekend was hot!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Nigerian Mom - Soul Comedy Jocelyn Jee (UK)

ROTFLMAO!!! now you know thats ya mama too!

Here is to you!
When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend, and then I started to become a woman. And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up, you would see the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man(Moji). Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your self(Bowale). Another when you want to shop(Dammy), share(Isla)), heal(Bukky), hurt(Simmy), joke(Shandy), or just be(Dupe). One friend will say, "Let's cry together(Thelma)," another, "Let's fight together(Busola)," another, "Let's walk away together(Lolade)."

One friend will meet your spiritual need(Elisa), another your shoe fetish(Lola), another your love for movies, another will be with you in your season of confusion(Dayo), another will be your clarifier(Yetti), another the wind beneath your wings(Remi). Then there is that one that helps you see clearly(E). But whatever their assignment in your life, on whatever the occasion, on whatever the day, or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back(Bisola), or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself.(Imade) . Those are your best friends.

It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many, it's wrapped up in several... one from 7th grade, one from high school, several from the college years, a couple from old jobs, on some days your mother, on some days your neighbor, on others, your sisters, and on some days, your daughter. So whether they've been there 20 minutes or 20 years, here’s to all the women/man in your life who make a difference.

Dress Code.....Skank!
Aii, so I had another appointment this morning, to scale tartar from one side of my teeth…ewww TMI…. I know! I will do the other side next week or so. Please tell me why is it today that I choose to stroll in my office at about 1pm did the VP of our company decide to visit?

So its ‘feel cute day’ in Wasimi Olse, my Ogun state village and here I am wearing a sleeveless top and white shorts that fits snug and above my knee and peep this..... WHITE PATENT LEATHER PUMPS with a buckle around the ankle. I grabbed a black blazer to throw on top only because I knew my office would be freezing!

So here is the Bill Gates of my world stopping by to say hello. I was on the phone with E, talking about the type of shit that makes a black girl blush and Whooosaaaa Oga enter. I dismissed E with a “Is there anything else I can help you with?” BS to make it seem like I was earning my pay.

“Hello Bola, nice to meet you, I hear you are doing lovely things for our numbers?” I was confused and my boss followed closely behind to help me with the lost look I wore on my face! “Bola this is Bill, VP of our company” I couldn’t stop smiling; I must have looked like an idiot! I managed a weak “HI” and sat down before he noticed my baffs.

“Dear Lord, why is it the day I dress the least professional VP chooses to shows up?” He looked around my office and he said I am very efficient and organized!!!!…..Buhahahahaha that is tooo funny, please o oga Bill…wait till you see my car! Just don’t ask me for a ride to the Airport!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

To Smoke or not to smoke....
So there is the shot behind the ears that is supposed to help you quit smoking. I have been trying to get an appointment to get the shot, but now I am not so sure. This lady (Caucasian) at work got the shot yesterday morning and she has been cranky since! Well I thought it was just me but apparently she has gone bananas and was asked to go home!

How about today the chic came in, barged in my office and demanded some paperwork I was working on, granted I had to give it to her but not till close of business and here it is 10am and she is hounding me for it, I wasn’t exactly in the best of moods myself having sat in traffic for 40 minutes to get here. She had a very nasty disposition and I politely asked her if she was alright and she snapped FINE. A couple hours later, I heard her yelling at our Boss, she called him an Uptight Nazi!!! We all looked at each other in disbelief, here is this mild mannered, happy go lucky woman going berserk! Da hell? My boss called HR and they asked her to take a few days off, she went from anger to sobbing uncontrollably and apologizing to everyone! My boss was amused by the outburst because he said one of the side effects of the shot was Tourette (Sp) syndrome! Omo, I am not getting that shot o!

Anywho, I finally registered Omolayo for summer camp, she started this morning, its like 5 minutes from the house so it works for me. Day one and they are already asking me to chaperone some field trip! Omo, soccer mum died and went to heaven! I really am not a fan of kids and I can’t imagine pretending for 4 hours that little Johnny is adorable, when I really want to choke little Johnny’s dumb ass for spilling kool-aid on my leather kicks. The other evening Omolayo had a recital, I nearly killed senior citizens rushing to make it there on time, only for the running nose brats to get on stage and sing some off key song and bam! It was over! I mean come on! The parking lot was full, no seats in the house, proud parents with Cameras and camcorder and the entire ordeal lasted five minutes? Oh helll na! Omolayo told me later that she know I think it’s dumb but they worked really hard on it…okay I felt a tad bit bad! But all that hassle for 5 minutes? COME ON!!

Dammy and Dayo boy came over last night and I made dinner. I also unpacked the rest of my stuff, and the place is coming together quite nicely. Mrs Awani (Dayo girl) is back from Naija I can’t wait to get the gist of how it all went down.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

The Race for the Cure for Breast Cancer
On Saturday our bible study group did some volunteer work for Penera Bread, a sponsor for the Komen NC triangle Race for the cure. I surprised myself and woke up around 5:30am and was there by 6:30am! It was incredibly fulfilling, I most definitely will be participating next year, maybe I might even compete, as for this year we all stuck with slicing bagels.

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Collage 2006
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Thursday, June 08, 2006

Please tell me why I spent the majority of my day at the dentist, apparently I have a cavity (just one) and I need to have my wisdom teeth (4) pulled. Other than that I was pretty healthy. I was referred to an orthodontist to see about getting braces to align my canines. Ok maybe I am a little bored and I just love going to the doctor besides the mere thought of loosing teeth prematurely gives me the creeps!!!!

So last night after bible study we all went out to dinner to celebrate Remi’s birthday, the heifer took my…well her…hell my memory card to Naija so I could only take one picture. Mumsy and Uncle Segun joined the fun and footed the bill. I left early because I had to work at my Marlboro job. I figure I put in a few hours before I drop of their Radar completely. Naija pictures looked good o! I was hating majorly that I couldn’t be part of Dayo’s Big day. I will be sure to put up all the pictures as soon as Dayo gets back.

O by the bush…I got my cable! Please tell me why I ran out the office yesterday when dude called me that he was at my door, I spoke to him the whole 15 minute drive home to make sure he did not jabo me. Please tell me why he was fine as hell…to bad I am addicted to my breed, I would have changed my name to his name!

So tonight, I will be at Remi’s, I have got to hear every detail about T&D’s wedding….Oh damn! I am working again tonight!!! Dupe.. Tomi... Dayo….wanna pick up my shift? Holla back!!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Happy Birthday Remi
Today is my #1 OG’s birthday!!! Happy birthday Remi!!!! Remi and I have been friends fro 13 years!! She has always been there for me through good and bad, even back in the day when her click (Down with da Click) waged war against mine (Unique Babes) she had my back like WHOA!! So young….so dumb back then but we’ve come a long ass way miha!!!

We have definitely had our fall outs but it always made us stronger and you continue to inspire me to want to be a better person and your love and support is very much appreciated. My whole family loves Remi and her family loves me…well almost all of em. Omolayo does not blog but if she did she would tell you that you are the bestest, must loving, God mother a girl could wish for, and next to her mama, she loves you most! As you grow one more year wiser today may HIS grace continue to be upon you, may your light shine beyond your imagination and may God always meet you at your point of need. I will take a step back and give in to ISLA taking the lead on D-Day but best believe I will be right behind her. I wish you all the fabulous things I wish myself.
Love you BOO BOO!! Best pigs for LIFE!!!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Cable TV.... where art thou?
I was bored out of my mind last night; I really did not understand the impact TV had on me till yesterday!
Ok so procrastination got the better of my ass and I did not hook up cable in my newest crib…yes o newest, I have lived in Raleigh since March 04 and I have moved 4 times!

How? Well another blog entry altogether but I digress, so about my cable, it was on when I moved in and for a hot minute I was hoping they would leave it on and I could use the extra $60 a month for a mani/pedi I desperately need. How about my cable got turned off! So I had Fumni call and set me up but the best they could do for me was Wednesday! Mind you I called Saturday O! I did not miss it until last night! I got back from work cranky as hell then I took a quick shower and hopped into bed, grabbed the remote and Buyah! It dawned on me…NO FREAKING CABLE!!!! How could I forget, 10 minutes earlier I just snapped at Molayo to go read a book when she whined “ Mummy …the TV is not working!” In horror, like her baba get TV for their village.

I had promised Remi’s mum I would stop by so I left the joint, made a quick stop at IYA AFO’s and then I decided to borrow TV watching from the Banjizzy’s but somehow, I had a ton of things that I needed to do so I bounced at about 9:30pm.
Hold up…wereminite…tomorrow is Wednesday; I SHALL NOT MISS MY CABLE APPOINTMENT! Damn I miss MD, I for don call Uncle Seye to give me the hook-up!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

And how was your weekend?
Coming to you live and direct, it is I the Queen B of Egba land. HEHHEHEHE okay, so maybe I wont make a good V-Jay but eeerrrhhhh weekend was cool, did some more unpacking. I made coconut chicken Friday night and I was trying to put some wine in it for flavor, I ended up putting vineger by accident! Told Mo about it, she was rolling, It was gross but my baby girl Dammy and Princess O ate it up! All my peeps came over Friday and Saturday to help me unpack, except somehow they did not unpack squat! they just ate all my food and dirty-ed up my crib! I was supposed to hit the gym with Ade this morning, but my ass could not get up, I spent the whole of Satrday, doing hair! Ade's hair, Princess O's hair and Alice's hair! then later Saturday, Dupe, ade, funmi, Dammy and I rolled up for Shade's brother's kid's naming ceremony. I stayed home from church today, decided to call Naija, spoke with Remi and Babs, they gisted me about Dayo and Tuoyo's wedding, it was FABULOUS according to my sources, cant wait to see piksurs! Gbemi, dammy and I had lunch on Sunday afternoon at some new spot called Pei Wei....excellent food, nice restaurant, I had coconut shrimp since I jacked up my cookimg practical on Friday (Dont get it twisted, baby girl can cook!) We visited Seun briefly....congrats Seun on the safe delivery of the hottest boys in Raleigh!!! Peter and Paul...here is your first shout out from aunt B! Gbemi was craving some efo so I made her some and we watched Hustle aND fLOW. Seyi dayo and dupe joined us for dinner.

Had a heart to heart with Mumsy today and she told me she had been reading my blog! Jesu e gba mi! okay so as we agreed she taught me better than that so I am just gonna shake it off! But you should have seen the look on my face when she said that! My mum has always been very techy, I see her on MSN and all and I remember her signing my guest book one time like that a few years ago, but wahlia, I never though she was a regular, I mean we talk like 2wice a week and she never said jack! Oh well, my content has now switch to PG! Infact, I really dont need feedback so I am switching off my comments period, dont worry my counter and IP tracker will show me who is reading! I mean damn....3k plus visitors in 45 days! And I am just boring old Bola! Ok, my forehead is expanding from tooting my own horn but Damn PINNNN PINNNNN!!!

I have some pictures...will post later!

The Odds are against me but pile up enough Odds and you are Even. The inevitability of my ability to consistently overcome overwhelms me. As do the magnificence of God's grace towards me and mine. I marvel at my proximity to my destiny. I am astounded that Can't, Won't and Later disrupt my journey to greatness. A conscious decision is mine to make and christen them Can, Will and Now! My reflection gazes back at me with another challenge at hand, procrastination hinders my reaching my destination. Don't tell me where I should go till you walk in my shoes. Yesterdays mistakes are for tomorrows amends, yet I ponder on them like the hand of time changes? Mediocrity has become a comfort zone and I have turned obstacles into road-blocks rather than stepping-stones, I find myself compromising my integrity as I try to maintain the status quo. How easy it is to condemn me and defame my character, when you really should commend me, and applaud my efforts. Intimidated by my confidence, you misconstrue it as arrogance, I know who I am.... A strong, black-diamond in the rough, a female soldier, a Queen amongst her peers.. now who the hell are you?