Chronicles of a Soldier
Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Hey bloggville it’s been a hot minute huh…well I have been busy and out of it for a few weeks now, besides nothing major has happened…..let me fill you in.

A big Shout out to my girl Dayo…she dropped 8lbs 10 ounces on Thursday, yup baby Awani is in the building!!!! I can’t wait for the day Joba and Isreal will start quaving Ridi and Alero!!! Buhahahaha…Congratulations once again!!! May this be the first of many to come…Amen!

Well I was in MD aka London the weekend before last, my girl Elisa’s mum turned 50, I dragged LP, Omolayo and Oyinade with me…it was cool, we stayed at Elisa's. Oyinade had some party to go to so we dropped her off, how about some heifer had her dress on! Buhahahahaha don’t you just hate it when that happens? LOL!!! LP, Elisa and I had brunch at Bob Evans…I am so addicted to that place, I think it’s the home fries! We then spent the rest of the afternoon at the party hall getting ready for the Owambe. The party was nice, everyone looked fabulous especially this one lady from ATL…good gawd! I know that woman is at least 60 but mehn she looked hell of good, she wore that hottest pair of Betsy Johnson kicks, (I know because I have been eyeing that particular pair on Zappos for a hot minute now) she did not even bother with the shoe and bag mess, although I stand corrected…Elisa’s mum and her posse were rocking a different breed of shoe and bag…Lord have mercy! So how about they got my girl to buy a pair! I was laughing at her until I saw them suckers…I’ll have to say they were aiit!
I had fun though…she kept trying to drag me to the dance floor…..no boo QB don’t dance!

On Sunday, we drove down to Queensway…I had food on my mind, Princess O’s dad came to meet us there, it was sooo weird!!!!! It started snowing as we headed out of town, LP drove because I was feeling sick and no…I wasn’t pretending. I slept most of the way to Raleigh, I was a bit nervous that LP was driving, not that I am a better driver but there is just something about control…yes I am a control freak!

I decided to braid my hair this weekend and invited Remi to come with me because she wanted her do did tooo. I should have known that was a bad idea! We roamed the street and they did not actually start my hair till 7pm! Remi started and hour earlier it was pointless because they sat us at opposite sides of the gallery so we could not gist, Remi called me on her cell but I resorted to yelling out…I swear it was like reliving Tejuosho market! Damn the good ol’ days! I finally made it out at about 1am!! I was telling E about it last night and I tried to explain that I used yarn to twist my hair instead of hair I was rolling at his response “Yarn? Like crochet? Why baby is it cheaper?” CAN YOU IMAGINE!

Most of my week was blah…I did my Monday night wing thingy with the usual suspects….Dayo, Dupe, LP and Stacy a few other folks join our mix. I guess we can’t get enough of the 25 cents wings!!! I quit drinking so it was iced tea baby!!
I finally filed for my taxes; please hola at your girl if you know any stray children that need to be claimed we'll split the Mola 80/20….. you get the later…that’s how we do!

So as part of my electives, I had lunch with Princess O today, I am majoring in being a better parent! It was cool until all the rugrats wanted hugs! Da hell, somebody give these gremlins the memo! Kids are soooo weird! Princess O was beside herself, she wanted me to say hello to every single kid in her class and I swear my face hurts from the smile I feigned for an entire hour!

Why haven’t they announced the winners of the gele competition? I mean the hell? I am sitting here waiting patiently fighting the urge to call them up to have a word or two! The funny thing is that I soooo do not know what the prizes are; I started a rumor that it was $1500 then I realized none of the folks I was telling could give a less Damn!
My devious self….I swear I am tew mush! I entered Remi, Gbemi, Titi Dupe, Aunty Foluke and Denrele in the competition! Then I called them all to tell them about it! Buhahahahaaha…well except Aunty Foluke, her ass is gangster so Imma act like I don’t know who did! Buhahaha Ok maybe I do have a bit too much time on my hands!

It turns out my Ace LA also watches WWG and WOM!!! I finally have someone to relate to as per my addiction. Before I forget…. Does anyone have a remedy for black head that does not involve me coughing out $100 at some spa? Something like Epo pupa and milk? I beg ring my bell! I told Remi’s dummas not to touch my black head but she tortured it and now I have a scab on my forehead!

It just occurred to me that I haven’t done any work since I got here so…. I’m finna go! (inside joke, only a Ralite would understand!.....LOLOLOLOL)

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I am in Quarantine!!!
If I could destroy one website it would have to be Face Book! I mean the hell? It is 6:30pm and my ass is sitting in the office handling all my WWW business before I go home, ask me why? Ask me now? Well I will tell you anyway! My 2nd born and my 3rd born, and Dami boy…particularly my 3rd born and Dami boy are face book obsessed! I strongly believe they are responsible for the virus that has taken permanent residence on my hard drive! I don’t know didly about computers…at least not all that techy nonsense and I visit about 17 sites in total; Hotmail, Yahoo, Blogspot, G-mail, Nordstrom, Ebay, Paypal, Suntrust, Smart Bargains, Linked IN, , Mapquest, Google, dictionary.com, bible.com, poetry.com, art.com and Hi-5!
Somehow my computer is infected with a virus and apparently I am infecting the network so they shut me down! Do you know what that means? I cannot use the computer at home! What the hell am I supposed to do with my down time now? My Internet service is included in my rent so I can’t even demand a refund! So I was on the phone with the help desk again last night and he asked me if I had face book…. “Huh? No…well yeah….not really” ….he paused for a moment…then he said “You may have gotten the virus from there, a lot of the students in your complex that have the same virus use face book”
I am going to kill them kids! One by one and have them for dinner like my man Michael Crigger did on watch over me!
Okay so now I am in quarantine and since my home phone is connected to my High Speed Internet…..I am royally fucked!
I am supposed to scan my Compurra, then buy all this anti-virus crap, install them and then call back! Until then SOL!!
This is soooo not fair, Internet is right up the list of priorities right next to air and water!

Monday, February 19, 2007

99 rather random things about me

  1. My father named me 3 names that all mean the same thing.... Omobolanle Modebolanle Olawanlewa

  2. Green is my new favorite color

  3. I have way too many friends, I am cutting back

  4. I eat not because I am hungry but because I am bored

  5. My eyebrows are permanent

  6. I sleep with my mouth opened…or so I’ve been told

  7. I am not very friendly

  8. I hate butta people

  9. I am the black sheep of my family

  10. I watch “Wicked Wicked games” and “watch over me” religiously

  11. I don’t pay my tithes faithfully

  12. I have not done my laundry in almost 8 months

  13. I talk in my sleep

  14. I am in love with a guy I’ve never met

  15. I hate it when people touch me

  16. I don’t know how to respond to “I love you”

  17. I love country music

  18. I am afraid of bugs

  19. I hate dogs and cats

  20. I eat dusting powder

  21. I chew on ice and it doesn’t bother me

  22. I really hate it when people snore

  23. I hate people using my towel

  24. I fall in love quickly and hard and hate even harder

  25. I have a lot of blackheads

  26. I never buy matching underwear

  27. I am the most random MOFO I know

  28. I hate secretive people…chances are no one cares!!!

  29. I love the smell after it rains

  30. I love Iced Tea

  31. I hate junk food

  32. I sleep way too much

  33. I have the attention span of a fly

  34. I never check my voice mail

  35. I never carry cash

  36. I shop at thrift stores and yard sales

  37. I love to write and paint

  38. I cant dance

  39. I have a huge keloid scar on my stomach

  40. I never buy real gold jewelry

  41. I hate being alone

  42. I cant eat sushi or any other uncooked food

  43. I can braid my own hair

  44. I cant function before 8am in the morning

  45. I am a bit too outspoken

  46. I think out loud a lot

  47. I have a hard time hiding my feelings

  48. I have a really bad temper

  49. I don’t forgive

  50. I am not easily impressed

  51. I am uncomfortable around talkative people

  52. I stare at people

  53. I pick out sleep from my eyes and line them up on a mirror

  54. I never exercise

  55. I smoke cigarette

  56. I have a low tolerance of Alcohol and BS

  57. I used to have my nose and belly button pierced

  58. I eat fruit from the grocery store without paying for them

  59. I talk way too much shit

  60. I am overly sensitive

  61. I am a really bad driver

  62. I am the life of any party

  63. I don’t like kids ….with a handful of exceptions

  64. I am not very affectionate

  65. I have a major crush on Common

  66. I really don’t think Britney Spears is hot

  67. I find DJIMON HOUNSOU sexy

  68. I am a great cook

  69. I love broccoli

  70. I am afraid of flying

  71. I cant decide who I love most; India Ari, John Mayer, Ne-yo, MJB or Lauryn Hill

  72. I am a hopeless romantic

  73. I prefer injections to drugs

  74. I am confident and borderline arrogant

  75. I really love God and his favors towards me are overwhelming at times

  76. I like to be different

  77. I am really shy

  78. I am not afraid of dying as long as its not HIV or plane crash...I’m good.

  79. My favorite movie is the color purple

  80. I read Nancy Drew mysteries and Sweet Valley Twins growing up

  81. I am very impulsive

  82. I hate pretentious people

  83. I am always late

  84. I believe in love at first sight

  85. My car is filthy

  86. I don’t ride rollercoasters

  87. I cant swim

  88. I don’t sleep before Midnight

  89. I really want to live in Nigeria

  90. I hate broken english

  91. I have never dated a white guy

  92. shopping make me feel better about everything

  93. I hate it when people use my sponge

  94. I frown a lot ....unconsciously

  95. I love taking pictures

  96. I hate it when folks lie about public information

  97. I don’t fight fair

  98. I cant spell words that have ‘EI” receive, deceive, achieve ETC I always put the ‘I’ before ’E’ I always rely on spell check
  99. I love Marc Jacobs

It took me a whole day to compile this list! So now I tag desola, because I suspect she will have some very interesting random facts on her list.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Gele Skentele!!!
Courtesy of Segun Gele and Remi’s wedding, my gale was too bunz on November 18th. It was so out there, this lady asked me who tied it and insisted I took her to get hers done.

I am not much of a gele person, in fact I refuse to wear native unless everyone is wearing it. I remember my mum used to try to get me to buy all these materials for what I considered to be absolutely ridiculous prices! But I am getting older and I am embracing my culture more and these days, I can tell you the names of the materials sef! Thanks to my mum and big sis, I have a bunch of lace and gele, its funny though, they don’t get much wear but if the occasion comes up…I have my Naija baffs handy! I don’t know about the shoe and bag mess though…GOOD GAWD! Some of those made in Italy crap Naija women wear looks like it was put together by carpenter instead of shoemaker…I mean the hell? Lanzolini and Best or some crap like that! No sirree, I will leave the grown and sexy to do the shoe and bag…I will just stick to mean ass Geles for now! (Mr Sege…I got you on speed dial boo) I don’t think I am current on what’s hot and what’s not in regards to lace…at least not yet, I just love brown and other dark colors.

A few months ago, the editor of Chatafrikarticle told me about his idea for a gele competition and I had just the gele in mind to enter…I must to win o…or else! LOL
I quickly cropped my Aces out of the picture (sorry MO and LA) and submitted my entry; please tell me why my gele is getting mad hits! I hope they wont ask us to tie it again live or sumtin…that would not be too bunz!

One of my girls called me up to tell me how Razz the competition was and she couldn't believe I was in it….get over it boo, You call it Razz, I call it keeping it real. Which year you enter yankee sef? Oyinbo pepe! Shio!!

Check out the ENTRIES and show your girl QB some love!!! I swear there will be hell if I don’t win…yes I am very competitive…can’t you tell?

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

My funny Valentine!!!!!
So I woke up this morning to a knock at the door, early mo mo kind of shit, it was a special delivery, this tall, dark, handsome man in a tux with a bouquet of 2 dozen yellow roses and a single red one! “Miss Odegbami?” he asked. euphoric, I grabbed the bunch and yelled Thank you!!! He held the door open and announced that my ride was waiting! Hen? Say kini, I looked outside to see a white stretch limo waiting for me. “My ride to where exactly?” I could see the delivery man was enjoying this because my razz ass could not hide my excitement “Please read the note Miss Odegbami, it explains everything”

Omobolanle love,

Happy Valentine’s Day! I wish us many more to come…Amen!
I hope you like your flowers, the 23 yellow roses are for our friendship…you are my best friend and the single red rose…is for love…I love you today and always!

The guy standing before you is Mark, he will be at your beck and call
today, I know it takes you a bit to get ready…take your time, when you are set, he will take you to work. At noon, he will bring you to Lex, I know you love Cajun food, I will meet you there and we’ll have lunch. Mark will take you back to your office and wait for your day to end. In the limo you will find a package, change into that dress for me darling. Mark will take you to Salon Sesua, they will take care of your hair and make-up.
At about 7pm, Mark will bring you to the airport, a private plane will be waiting, we have dinner reservations at Justin’s, don’t worry about an overnight bag. Just bring your beautiful self. We will be spending the night at W, I reserved the pent house.
My mum will pick up Princess O from school and will watch her for the evening.
In the morning we’ll have breakfast in bed and I will have you back at work before 10am.
Can’t wait to see you.
Love Always,

Oh damn! Omobolanle pick your mouth off the floor! And I only got him a card! I started to call him but somehow that was not on the instructions, I am definitely being punked…. I just know it!!!!! I picked up my phone to call MO and tell her about this shit riii hurr but she didn’t pick up…and then…..I WOKE UP!!!!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Happy Birthday Mummy!!!
Today is my mums birthday and we have sort of been beefing for a minute its normal right? I am sort of the brat of my family and stubborn as hell...(its my dad's fault) So I called her this morning on my way out!

QB: Hey mummy...Happy Birthday
Mum: thank you
QB: So what are you up to...what are your plans for the day
Mum: on my way to work in an hour or so
QB: Work? On your birthday
Mum: You have a better idea?
QB: (uncomfortable silence)...so did you get the packet I sent?
Mum: what package?
QB: Your birthday present I sent it on Friday through Fed-ex 2 day delivery
Mum: hmmm...no
QB: I will track it then...so se e wa pa?
Mum: Peachy
QB: That's great, well I hope you have a nice day...I will call you later
Mum: OK...thanks

That conversation was like pulling teeth! Phew OK maybe its time I stop acting like a brat!

Mojisola Darling....my one and only Iya Onigba! Iyawo Olujimi....I love you loads and I am sorry for my outbursts last week. Please be reminded today that I love you infinity and I would not trade you for anything in the world! I haven't been feeling poetic lately but I will re post the poem I wrote for you in 2005 and I hope it leaves you with warm fuzzy feelings!

Dear ma,

Have I told you lately that I love you?
Well I should have
Do you realize how much you mean to me?
I’ll tell you
Does it seem like all your suffering was in vain?
It wasn't
Do I sometimes make you feel like I don’t appreciate you?
Because I do
No matter what you do, how you act, what you say and who you are
I will always be glad that you are my mother. I love you unconditionally and I am grateful to the almighty that he chose you as the vessel to give me life.
We may not always see eye to eye but understand that I will forever be in your debt for the sacrifices you made for me.
I would not trade you for anything in the world and I would not change a damn thing about you.
Forgive me if I seem ungrateful at times, because I am not. I am grateful I have you in my life and I am proud that you are my mum.
If ever again you are in doubt of my love for you, read my words, keeping in mind that they are sincere and find comfort in them.
This New Year, I will work on our relationship, I will do my part and whenever I fall short, be sure to do yours!
Pray for me mama as only a mother can..I definitely need it, especially now. Loads of kisses!!!!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Babiluwe's Ra Ra
Last weekend was Babs birthday and we all went out to show him some love! We did dinner at Hi5 and then we went to Ess lounge to lay back! It was a fabulous evening to say the least! I totally missed dinner because I was out of town with my babies but I came just in time to finish everyone's leftover. Omobolanle...you tooo love food!!!

Babs birthday

Happy Birthday again Babs from your newly acquired Raleigh family, I know we are a bit much but I give you a few months and you'll get used to it!!!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

QB is soo Razz!!!
My razzness is boundless; I am on another level for shizzle. Last night I made Ila asepo, with beef hearts, turkey and beef, it was yummy! I ate it with some Amala and I was smiling all the way to bed! So this morning I decided to pack myself some lunch…bump the Chinese joint and the deli, imma eat some eba yo! So I put some gari in a ziplock bag and packed my stew carefully in Tupperware and off I went.

A little after noon I saw folks staring at the menus, not I…not today, today I Omobolanle Modebolanle Olawanlewa will be having Eba and Ila! I heated my water in the microwave and made my eba, everyone in the lunch room must have thought I don lost my damn mind! I carried my meal jejely to my office and got my grub on! Shuu…as a matter of fact, I am doing this all week! Angie from payroll took a picture!

I haven’t been up to date with my office dare…omo SOX audit is coming up and all my damn files are a mess! So blogging has had to take a back seat as well as my dares, but I did manage to do ‘8) Walk sideways to the photocopier…. And …10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wannatrade?”' She asked me if I was serious and I kept a straight face and repeated myself…she looked really confused at my request…..I got quite a laff out of that one! Buhahaha…I garishoes!!!

So I am sure you’ve heard before that I have the smartest kid on the planet! Not bragging but really I do. I sometimes I forget she is a kid and give her all these responsibilities. Remi and I fight constantly about some of them and Sade has threatened to call child services… hey I never said I was a great parent…I am a work in progress no doubt. I decided to add more to Molayo’s responsibilities. Ade tried to talk me out of it but last night, I insisted she washed the dishes. Omo the girl is finna turn 7 and I remember when I was 7 I washed dishes…I think! Anyway she has got to learn. Ade told her she did not have to wash the pots and pans and she got to work, I think she was a bit excited that she was doing a chore. About half an hour later Ade and I discovered OMOLAYO FEYINTOLUWA had washed all the dishes with the toilet spongue!!!! Egba mi! Ewww!!! I was so mad I couldn’t even spank her cause by God she is only 6!!! Ade could not stop laughing as she yelled “I told you so!” so I had to rewash everything and dump them in the dishwasher for a good steam clean. The worst part is that she sooo did not understand what the fuss was about, she needed a sponge and found one in the bathroom! Oh damn…aii maybe she can start washing dishes next year!

The Odds are against me but pile up enough Odds and you are Even. The inevitability of my ability to consistently overcome overwhelms me. As do the magnificence of God's grace towards me and mine. I marvel at my proximity to my destiny. I am astounded that Can't, Won't and Later disrupt my journey to greatness. A conscious decision is mine to make and christen them Can, Will and Now! My reflection gazes back at me with another challenge at hand, procrastination hinders my reaching my destination. Don't tell me where I should go till you walk in my shoes. Yesterdays mistakes are for tomorrows amends, yet I ponder on them like the hand of time changes? Mediocrity has become a comfort zone and I have turned obstacles into road-blocks rather than stepping-stones, I find myself compromising my integrity as I try to maintain the status quo. How easy it is to condemn me and defame my character, when you really should commend me, and applaud my efforts. Intimidated by my confidence, you misconstrue it as arrogance, I know who I am.... A strong, black-diamond in the rough, a female soldier, a Queen amongst her peers.. now who the hell are you?