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Chronicles of a Soldier
Thursday, July 13, 2006

Can you blame me?
Can you really blame me?

Can you blame me for doubting you?
Can you blame me for not trusting you?
Can you blame me for holding back?
Can you blame me for being scared?
Can you really blame me?

Have you had your heart ripped out your chest?
Have you been compared with all the rest?
Have you given your all and it still wasn’t enough?

Have you had anyone unworthy walking your pace?
And then eventually taking your place?
Forcing you to act out of haste?

Have you been silenced by shame?
Has your silence been mistaken for stupidity?
Have you ever misplaced your integrity?

So can you really blame me?

Yeah you give me all I need
Yeah you say I am your queen
Yeah you are there for me in time of need
But can you blame me if I won’t let you lead?
Can you really blame me?

Can you be mad that I won’t let you love me?
And that I’m afraid you just might hurt me?
You say I lack emotions but can you blame me?

I know its wrong of me to take out all the hurt on you
I know you are different and you’ve proved yourself
Yes I respect you for putting up with me
But can you blame me if I hesitate?
Will you be patient if I’d rather wait?

I pray you will.



The Odds are against me but pile up enough Odds and you are Even. The inevitability of my ability to consistently overcome overwhelms me. As do the magnificence of God's grace towards me and mine. I marvel at my proximity to my destiny. I am astounded that Can't, Won't and Later disrupt my journey to greatness. A conscious decision is mine to make and christen them Can, Will and Now! My reflection gazes back at me with another challenge at hand, procrastination hinders my reaching my destination. Don't tell me where I should go till you walk in my shoes. Yesterdays mistakes are for tomorrows amends, yet I ponder on them like the hand of time changes? Mediocrity has become a comfort zone and I have turned obstacles into road-blocks rather than stepping-stones, I find myself compromising my integrity as I try to maintain the status quo. How easy it is to condemn me and defame my character, when you really should commend me, and applaud my efforts. Intimidated by my confidence, you misconstrue it as arrogance, I know who I am.... A strong, black-diamond in the rough, a female soldier, a Queen amongst her peers.. now who the hell are you?

Afrigator