Chronicles of a Soldier
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
He didnt loose your number...he's just not that into you
I am tired as hell, I have not really recouped from the chaos this weekend and to make matters worse, I spent the night at Remi’s which means no sleep till at least 2am! I was up jisting with Remi and she ignored me because she couldn’t get her code to work or some shit. Then an old flame called and I spent the rest of the evening caking. He really schooled me on my illusions and naivety and painted a clear picture that made even more sense and brought me closure.
Are women really that stupid or it’s just me? Seriously, we master the art of faking an orgasm but a man can fake a whole relationship! WOW!!!! We create this fantasy and we convince ourselves that it’s the truth. I have seen it happened time and time again and I even criticize the women involved until that woman became me! I guess we all learn and I am so glad I learned….finally, even though it took a scandal to get me there!
Now I have my friends mock me and laugh at me as we replay the senseless ordeal scene by scene and I can’t help but laugh at myself too. I pride myself in being true and candid with myself and with those around me but sometimes if you lie to yourself enough, you start to believe it. There is no telling anyone jack shit in these situation, you just wait and pray that they snap out of it fast!
So Charlie spent about 3 hours spitting some hard truth that ruffled my feathers a bit but was very much needed. The kind of truth I have very few people that dare to speak to me, and I can’t help but respect him more for that.
So ladies lets not confuse sex with love and please pick up a copy of this book and regain your dignity because like my shirt says HE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!
The Odds are against me but pile up enough Odds and you are Even. The inevitability of my ability to consistently overcome overwhelms me. As do the magnificence of God's grace towards me and mine. I marvel at my proximity to my destiny. I am astounded that Can't, Won't and Later disrupt my journey to greatness. A conscious decision is mine to make and christen them Can, Will and Now! My reflection gazes back at me with another challenge at hand, procrastination hinders my reaching my destination. Don't tell me where I should go till you walk in my shoes. Yesterdays mistakes are for tomorrows amends, yet I ponder on them like the hand of time changes? Mediocrity has become a comfort zone and I have turned obstacles into road-blocks rather than stepping-stones, I find myself compromising my integrity as I try to maintain the status quo. How easy it is to condemn me and defame my character, when you really should commend me, and applaud my efforts. Intimidated by my confidence, you misconstrue it as arrogance, I know who I am.... A strong, black-diamond in the rough, a female soldier, a Queen amongst her peers.. now who the hell are you?