GET HAIRAPY

So last weekend, I decided to take my braids out, it had been in for almost 2 months and I was done to say the least!
I stayed up all night taking them out, LP helped for a hot minute but then she bounced and it was me and my skull. Finally at about 3am, I was done…. Phew!!!
I had spoken with my co-worker and she told me about some lady she knew that does a mean ass weave! I was more than excited to give her a try.

Angela: Girl she is really good but she is mad expensive
QB: What's expensive?
Angela: Like $100 but she will do a good job though
QB: Ok, make me an appointment
Angela: I’ll have her call you, her name is Woodletta


I am saying though, Angela’s hair is always on point so why not? So what if her name is Woodletta?! Plus I think $100 is more than reasonable for sewn in tracks. My guy does glue in for $80 and that is mediocre service from an arrogant, self absorbed dodi-faya, I put up with the BS because he does a hell of a job. So why not try something new? Besides I am a little traumatized from my last glue experience.

I got up quickly on Saturday and ran to the beauty supply store to pick up some tracks, I called Woodie to let her know I was running 15 minutes late, she said I should take my time because she is running late too. I got to the shop at about 10:15 for my 9:30 appointment and this heifer still hadn’t arrived. The neighborhood was terrifying! I couldn’t believe I was still in Raleigh, the place looked like a set straight from the movie Boys in da hood! Except this was Bola in the hood!! Folks out on the street corners drinking 40s out paperbags as early as 10 AM?! I wound up my window and locked my door and sat in blazing heat, from fear of being shot or robbed or both! I had half the sense to run and find someplace else to do my do, but I figured it’s sorta like Buka food back in Naija…the dirtiest spots have the best grubs so I will wait it out!

At about 11:30 this we`re comes waltzing in like she was doing me a favor. I told her I needed my edges touched up and I wanted a part on the side. I am usually very tender headed and my relaxer starts burning as soon as you put it in but this cream soufflé she doused me with did not burn at all! I asked her the brand of the relaxer and she said Bantu mild! Never heard of it….. I did not want to seem bougee so I suffered in silence. She had some slow chick wash my hair and an even slower one braid it. 5 hours later, I was given the mirror and my reflection freaked me out! I figured I would go home and fix it up. I paid her the $100 and gave the slow shampoo girl $5, the apoda that braided my hair aint getting shit! I pulled the hair back in a pony tail and noticed all the tracks were still showing. I ran my fingers down the middle and found tracks with no weave sown on it! I started to cry! I drove back to the salon and asked her why I got such a botched up job and she offered to take some hair from the back and add it to the missing line! Da hell? This is not Bosley!!! After 5 hours?! Omo I was pissed, I told her to forget it and I drove back to the beauty supply to purchased a wig. Ade, Dupe and Remi all thought I was exaggerating and the hair couldn’t be that bad. LA told me to get a second opinion before I took it out. Dupe took one look at the do and she was like “Ok…please remove it!” Remi’s mum and Ade had a field day laughing at me. I begged Ade to take it out and wore my wig out.

On Monday I decided to take the morning off and get my hair done…again! Only no beauty salons were opened so I ended up at some upscale white salon in Cary! They were very careful with their choice of words in telling me that they don’t service black hair, I was rolling at how uncomfortable and akward it was for the shop owner…Buhahahahaha!!! She finally suggested I go to JC Penny and she even called ahead for me. When I got to JC Penny they called on the stylist that would work on me and she was INDIAN! OH HELL NO!!!!!! I was so desperate I actually sat in her chair and allowed her to do my hair! $85 and 2 hours later I looked like Condoleezza Rice!! I’ll bet good money she gets her hair done at JC Penny!

Lessons learned
1. Don’t let Woodletta or any of her cousins do your hair
2. The Beyonce look is not for everybody!
3. Always have a great wig on standby for hair emergencies
4. Thoroughly inspect your hair before paying for service.
5. Stick to what you know