Chronicles of a Soldier

Do you Face Book?

2007-12-06T22:58:00.001-08:00

Ok somehow sha..I got myself hooked on face book and like a crack head I am feening for the shit all day long…I find myself checking it early mo mo before I go to work and late at night before I sleep and seriously about 20 other times in between that! The other day caught myself on hold with Sprint for like 45minutes to upgrade to vision services just so I can check my Face Book at work! Finally the Sprint lady came on the phone and I was like…uhhhm.... never mind!

At first I was sure it was one of those Hi5 runs.... with random mofos professing love and shit so I was like…na, then I thought it was for youngins and in as much as I love young folks…I was like hell na! Then the most unlikely person asked me why I wasn’t on face book, cause it seemed it would be right up my alley…I finally said f%^k it…Imma join…shit it wont be the first time I’ve been called Agbaya!

So about the random mofo..still holds true but not nearly as bad as Hi5 and as per the being too old…let just say I make up for about 0.0000001% of the agbaya population! I mean good gawd! I’ve seen Uncles, aunties, even my friend’s dad on face book!

So anyway back to my gist o…so I am getting invites from all these folks I haven’t seen in years and I am sending invites to them a well getting all excited and shit. Then I see this one chick I remembered from my brief stint in Lag…so I send her an invite. As a matter of fact, I had a picture of her from back in the day…I must have been 19 or so…Anywho…she sends me a message asking who I was…and being a person that never remembers anybody myself (I have an uncurable case of ‘out of sight out of mind’), I took the time to explain to her how we know each other…I told her the name of our mutual friend and my partner in crime and told her I just wanted to holla. She finally added me as in ‘gba jen simi’ Please tell me why this babe was sooo standoffish…sebi I should have backed down abi? I called our mutual hommie and told her what happened and she laughed at me saying “QB you dey go Lagos? Abi you lose friend? I beg leave the girl jare” About a week later, she deletes me. ROTFLMAO!!! Why na? I actually send her a message to ask why and she said I was not up to the caliber of folks on her list! Yepa…no… this is not one of my make believe yarns o…true-life story!! The rest of the story gets long and since I have vowed to avoid drama by all means necessary…I will leave it alone.

I am not the least discouraged though…. I’ve caught up with some great friends and made new ones in process, I will say though, be very careful who you invite to be your friend on face book some folks misinterpret recognition as importance.

State Fair 07

2007-10-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

Another boring ass day at this boring ass job! I am sitting here changing the font on my yahoo messenger….now that classic! Dami finally emailed me the pictures from State Fair! I sooo hate it when folks take pictures and you never get them…AS IF!!!
I have figured out what I’m going to do for my church…none of the other duties interest me…so I will appoint myself the church paparazzi! We have a particular family that dozes during sermons…..that would be a hit for my lenses! Buhahahaha that’s not a sin is it? I am trying to change my ways o!

More Pictures!!!

Back to the fair and sturvs…I sooo do not do rides! I always feel like the Mofos that assemble the sturvs somehow forget a screw…Or maybe they just got yelled at right before by their boss and they are like…Pssst f&%k it! So I don’t do rides o jare! That would be a punkful way to go out! But somehow sha I found myself on one thing like that, it takes you about 800 feet in the sky and then drops you…Omo..I agree “My name is Bola and I am a wimp! Egba mi! Who sent my monkey ass? My stomach was churning like hell and I felt sick! I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!

I made sure I tasted every food they had at that fair, my diet would have to wait another 24 hours….Dayo wanted to go out and I was all for it until after I stuffed myself silly! I got home at about 10pm and took forty winks!

Bonike is 35!!

2007-10-22T08:10:00.000-07:00

My sister had this amazing party in Michigan at the Belle Isle Casino...it was major! I invited a bunch of my friends but only two showed up...oh well! Omo I started to panic a few weeks to the party lots to do and so little time. Ticket prices were crazy! Moji and Lola finally got their tickets, I was still thinking about where to get our baffs from, Aunty foluke helped me sha..thanks mami! I ran to my tailor to sew everyone's outfit, pleased tell me why I got to the tailor the day before my trip and this madam had not even started LA's baffs! I was pissed, I had an early flight day after and here I am 10 PM sitting with the tailor! At about 1pm sha..she finished...I cursed under my breath and bounced. I still had to go to Ade's house to see Mama Remi! Please tell me why my car died on me at their house! It was cold as hell and I had neglected to put gas in my car! I took Ade's car ran to the gas station and back and filled my tank and wahla...the bitch started! I finally get home at about 330am...I still had to pack o! and my flight was at 745am! needless to say I got no sleep!

LP dropped me at the airport 45 minutes to my flight and princess O and I patiently wait our turn in the security line. They pulled us aside and went through my luggage. They tossed all my hair and bath products but nothing was more painful than watching my brand new bottle of MJ Daisy go! I was pissed men! Apparently I looked like an damn terrorist!
I tried to think of more pleasant things like the fact that I get to see my whole family together since like almost 3 years ago! or was it 2...I forget.

I quickly grabbed my luggage and caught the shuttle to the rental car place...omo Michigan is dry! I mean damn! the airport is big and all but nothing interesting! I sha hurried to my hotel and tried to nap a bit before getting ready. I don't know whose idea this Friday party was but mehn..it sucks! At about 5pm Mo and La arrived and I dashed to the airport to scoop them. My sisters were calling trying to find out where I was. I ran into a lot of folks I hadn't seen since I was 9...very weird and shit. I was tasked with picking up the live band from their hotel which worked out since they were minutes from my hotel.

My baby sis showed up at my hotel to hang out with me, only she was sooo not a baby! She had lost mad weight and was looking hot! I kept staring at her in amazement.

We hurriedly got dressed and rushed to the party. It was amazing to say the least! Each table was elaborately decorated with fancy cakes and desserts and everyone looking all kinds of fabulous! My mum was at a table with her friend in their own Ankara threads. My sister was beaming with joy. She grabbed me and introduced me to all her friends and coworkers. My brother was wearing trad and just as I started to commend him I looked at his shoes..sneakers!! The boy is a mess!

My cousins, my niece, my nephew...uncle this aunty that...mummy from Nigeria...Robin..all my favorite people in one room! Even my step mother made an appearance! The food was magnifique....the music...bananas..can remember who played..I'm so not into the Naija live band scene but the dude did good sha!

My sister, her husband, my mum and a host of others made speeches but the one part I remember was when my sister said I was the best gift God ever gave her! that was deep and I was moved! Never thought she felt that way about me! *** still Blushing***
I was busy stuffing my face when they called me to make the toast...campaign flowing like H2o I raised my glass and said a few words...damn I wished I put more thought in it...I did OK sha...I am soooo shy I start to tremble when I am asked to speak in public....hard to believe I know but true!

They started spraying money like water and I was kinda pissed cause I didn't get any...OK so I didn't dance.

A big shout out to Gbemi mehn! he made like 20 trips to the grocery store to get ice and God knows what else!

My the end of the evening folks were packing up the cakes and taking them home! I quickly grabbed one too...I don't even like cake!

We hung out for a bit more and wrapped up the night...what a great party!

We headed to the hotel and slept like it was going out of style! On Saturday we hung out with at my sister's and Moji's cousin then we watched 'why did I get married' great movie!

On Sunday morning we had breakfast and it was time to leave....I dropped LA and Moji off at the airport and headed back to my sister's to hang out with the family. Gbemi cooked efo and we all grubbed, and argued and laugh and for a moment we were not dysfunctional!

http://picasaweb.google.com/oodegbami
Great weekend! See yall next year at my 30th....August 30th 2008..mark your Calendar!!

Trying to catch up....

2007-10-22T07:17:00.000-07:00

Oh wow..didnt think I would be away this long…but omo things dey happen o! Days turned into weeks and then months…..ok Imma try to come with it.

What going on with QB..errybody trying to know. I got a call the other day from one of my friends dad wanting to know why I having been blogging…Buhahaha..absolutely Hilary …I don’t know pops…errrhh…..maybe it got boring? Besides there are loads of interesting blogs out their now…its almost like the music industry…your track is hot until the next one! But na..its never been for the audience really, its been about free therapy!

Update! Errything is kosher, I am temping at some insurance firm as an admin, I have been doing that since June. I sooooo hate it! The other day this old fart asked me to make reservations for his lunch meeting at some restaurant…I was in a foul mood so I made him reservation for the one in DC…buhahahaha..Oloshi..next time call ya damn self!

Then my boss lady asks me to go get lunch everyday! According to my agency I should politely tell her to kiss my ass, but I like the lady sha, plus…I am greatful to even be employeed so I eat humble pie everyday and handle my business. Oh and the asswipe that asked my for reservations walks up to me and say "you know, you dress really professional and look nice everyday…its amazing we don’t see that much in this role and I know we don’t pay you that much" I guess that was a compliment….in fact…were ni baba e! I couldn’t even respond to that…I just gave him a smile of contempt and kept typing. I am bored out of my mind so I decided to give this blog business a second chance.

I had a birthday…August 30 baby…omo I was mad depressed, switched off my phone and slept all day…apparently Dayo and his wife didn’t get the memo..they came by to drag me to dinner at Ruth’s Chris, it was aii, but omo for that price I woulda made obe buka for 300 folks and still had money for drinks!
This chic I went to school with lives in my complex, since the day we discovered, it has been a chemical romance…I mean now I don’t have to run to Food Lion when I run out of salt, maggi or tampon! I just call OG up and wahla….its going to be short lived sha..omoge is getting married and moving again soon!

So I chopped off all my hair again o! Yes boredom! I like it sha, except now I get a relaxer every 3 weeks, due to my nappy roots.

Dont know if i mentioned my ace Dupe left town for Jand! I miss you snookums!

Wunmi Finally left...I guess we'll see her again next year when she comes back to drop it like its hot!

PS I love you!

2007-10-15T12:36:00.000-07:00

These oyinbo people know what they are talking about mehn! Fa real! I was chatting with my Big Sis whining about how so damn affectionate Omolayo is and how she says I love you every five minutes! Not only that o, she will call me five minutes after I leave home and say some shit like I miss you! Da hell? Everyone that knows me knows I don't do hugs and kisses, as a matter of fact when I see one of my dawgs or someone I care about I will say Assole, you no fit call? Abi were ni e ni…..?that translates to… Hey! How are you? I've missed you! I also have this thing about personal space…don't be all in my face! Maintain a 3 feet circumference distance at all times. Unless you are my man..you do not need to be that close to me!

So I was complaining, and she told me to enjoy it because her 10 year old is at an age where he does not even acknowledge her…I don't think I would mind that at all! Do you and I do me!
So…. Omolayo just sent me another 'I love you' text…. "erhhh, Sweetie, I love you too but we don't have to say it all the time…it gets old, lets save it for Birthdays and Christmas!"

My sister she says this goes back to our childhood, apparently there was not enough hugs and kisses growing up, so that's why it's weird now, plus I don't remember any "I love you" being exchanged in our micky flick. I dont doubt our parents loved us but they sure never said it. I guess it's a vicious cycle because the thought of my paternal grandma saying 'I love you' is somewhat comical…AS IF!

Me I sha don't remember all that I love you crap sha, I am constantly kicking Molayo out of my room but I remember as a kid I was forced to be amongst people because I always preferred to fly solo, these days sending Molayo to her room is punishment!

So anyway, I am trying sha…I was told if I don't give her enough affection she might turn into needy bugaboo or worse…na…..cant have that either. I swear parenting is hard! Just when you get the gist of it, there are new rules and guideless, Dos and Donts all kinds of crap just come up!
May God help me o!

MIA

2007-10-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

Okay so I have been gone a while, I not sure why really, I guess I just got bored with it (blogging that is) There seems to be so much going now that there is never really anytime to blog.
So lets see what has been going on with QB…omo dem plenty o! I don't even know where to start. I guess midlife crisis is supposed to happen at about 40 abi? Well my shit came early! I got laid off back in June, well May really but I was on payroll until June. I took about a week off to process my next move then I was called for a temp assignment were I had to smile all day like a damn idiot and act like I really wanted to be there (I didn't) I guess I wasn't too convincing because after 1 ½ months my assignment ended. Just when it was time for me to sulk again, I got an a couple offers…damn I am blessed! Ok well this time I will try not to complain and count my blessings. I really have nothing to complain about because it's a great opportunity to do what I do best! Thank you Jesus!

There have been a few trips to MD about 3 and then one to Tennessee, but I think I mentioned that one already..abi? There was a baby shower for Wunmi..she's dropping any minute now!

Ok soo I have gained quite a bit of weight as in officially the double digits! I should not have made fun of fat people! I take it back o! Damn lift this curse!!! I swear I am a size 10 now and a Large! It scares the shit out of me because nothing fits! What's worse…I can't shop in the juniors department if I get any bigger! LP says she will work with me at the gym…so I have started eating in moderation and taking walks around my way.

E told me to try this new red bull diet but omo..that shit is expensive! Plus folks be coming overt my house drinking red bull like its Shasta! Omo..iro o…I no fit! Besides that shit makes me more hyper than I care to be…I get all wired up and stay up all kinds of crazy hours…na blad..not having it. Eat right and exercise that's what I'll do. If I can just be a size 8 again Lord I promise to be a good girl and limit cooking obe buka to once a month!

Congratulations Thelma!!! My girl is officially a married woman! I can wait for the owambe girl! My Shoe and bag has been polished …no time for games! And my girl Elisa..Oooooohh Weeee! I can't wait for D-Day to come, just pray for me o that I loose this weight or imma have to step down from the bridal train…yall lepas not going to have me looking crazy! Congrats yall! I wish you Joy, peace and love, may your union be blessed and These oyinbo people know what they are talking about mehn! Fa real! I was chatting with my Big Sis whining about how so damn affectionate Omolayo is and how she says I love you every five minutes! Not only that o, she will call me five minutes after I leave home and say some shit like I miss you! Da hell? Everyone that knows me knows I don't do hugs and kisses, as a matter of fact when I see one of my dawgs or someone I care about I will say "Assole, you no fit call? Abi were ni e ni?"....that translates to… "Hey! How are you? I've missed you!" I also have this thing about personal space…don't be all in my face! Maintain a 3 feet circumference distance at all times. Unless you are my man..you do not need to be that close to me!

E told me to try this new red bull diet but omo..that shit is expensive! Plus folks be coming over to my house drinking red bull like its Shasta! Omo..iro o…I no fit! Besides that shit makes me more hyper than I care to be…I get all wired up and stay up all kinds of crazy hours…na blad..not having it. Eat right and exercise that's what I'll do. If I can just be a size 8 again Lord I promise to be a good girl and limit cooking obe buka to once a month!

Congratulations Thelma!!! My girl is officially a married woman! I can wait for the owambe girl! My Shoe and bag has been polished …no time for games! And my girl Elisa..Oooooohh Weeee! I can't wait for D-Day to come, just pray for me o that I loose this weight or imma have to step down from the bridal train…yall lepas not going to have me looking crazy! Congrats yall! I wish you Joy, peace and love, may your union be blessed!

KIDS SAY THE DARNEST THINGS

2007-06-28T07:55:00.000-07:00

I am a major fan of Crocs, you know the shoes that look like a crocodile? They are extremely comfortable and convenient. So I ran into a pair a few months ago and I bought them and they have been my knock about ever since.
So I was out shopping again and I saw a pair for Omolayo, she is my biggest fan so she likes for us to dress alike or do the same hairstyle (don’t ask me why) Anyway I got home and I was sure she would be beside herself that I had gotten her a pair of Crocs like mine. She looked at me and said thanks but I did not see any excitement or joy on her face it was more like a WTF look! So I asked her if she didn’t like her crocs and she goes “Mummy these are not Crocs!” da hell? Whadaya mean? I told her that that’s what they are called and I even have a pair! “Newsflash mummy…..yours are not Crocs either!” I had a blank confused look on my face and she seemed hesitant to finish “Mummy your shoes are fake! Crocs have Alligator on the side…these don’t…they are fake!”
“Egbami! You smoke gbana? Who told you that?!”, “Everybody wears them in school mummy but they have Alligators on it, I’ll wear them but they are not Crocs! Thank you anyway!” And she walked away leaving me dumbfounded Wunmi and I exchanged looks like what the hell just happened? How do kids know these things? Molayo is not even into clothes at all, she is indifferent about shopping, she’d rather have a Barbie anyday so this was a shock to me. I guess mine are Crooks…LOL

Tennessee!

2007-06-25T06:54:00.000-07:00

Howdy Blogville! I am not sure what possessed me but I followed my friends to Tennessee this past weekend! I knew we would have fun but I never anticipated the scary ass ride down there! It was totally my idea to take off 3am; I figured we’d get there around 10am and have plenty time to relax before the wedding. Oh yeah…it was a wedding Jean’s brother was getting married (Jean, Remi and I all went to high school together). Anywho I crashed at Ade’s because she was closest to our meeting venue. She woke me up at 230 and we were out. I left my phone at Ade’s so we went back there to get it. We finally start our trip but not before I gassed up on some coffee as I was driving the first leg of the trip. It wasn’t bad at all at least not until four hours later and we entered the mountains! Good Lawd! It was some kind of scary! Rocks everywhere!! And to make matters worse, 18 wheeler trucks were speeding by me like they were going to hit me! I started freaking out and Remi took over the driving! Phew! I didn’t sleep sha o! I was in awe of the view and I whipped out my camera to take pictures. We finally arrived at our hotel and I went in to check in, the lady at the counter made an error in checking me in and she started cursing and I stared at her shocked…..as in are you serious right now? Remi came in to see what was taking so long and I told her what happened, she picked up the complaint forms and started filling it out. The lady apologized profusely and redeemed herself by upgrading us to a bigger room with 3 double beds! I really need to take notes on how to handle such situations, I was ready to curse the lady out, I told her cursing at your customers was unprofessional and I will need to speak with her manager. We felt sorry for the poor lady and she couldn’t stop apologizing, she asked Remi not to file a complaint.

We were all starving so we went to the restaurant at the hotel to get some food. We sat there for about 2 hours gisting and carrying on looking all kinds of crazy! The food was da bomb! The service…even better. After we were stuffed we decided to check out the mall! We stopped at this boutique were they had really nice things at affordable prices, we all went bananas and started shopping, then we headed to Belk were they were having an amazing shoe sale, we did some more shopping then headed back to the hotel to get ready. We took turns bathing and we dressed quickly! I have gained ridiculous weight since the last time I wore this dress and my boobies just wouldn’t stay in place! Note to self (Stop eating so damn much!) Remi tied all our gele’s and I did everyone’s make-up!

We got to the reception right on time and settled in our seats, they had little snacks on each table to nibble on. Bunmi, another Apata alumni, was the hostess and she did a good job getting everyone’s attention. There was a variety of really good food on the menu, I took a little of everything and stuffed myself once again…..now I need a nap! I told everyone I was going to take a nap in the car and I was gone for the rest of the party! I was so tired, I reclined the seat in our car and dosed off! Funmi came at about 11pm to tell me the party was over. I followed her back in and we all chatted with Jean and Bunmi for another hour then headed back to our hotel. There were lot of great party favors, we all got an extra gele for buying gele ebi and Remi got Ankara for buying aso ebi. I racked up on Tupperware and we were each given a plate of food to go! We headed back to the hotel and went to sleep.
I slept through most of the drive home, Dupe and Ade did the driving and we got back to NC at about 430pm.

More pictures later

I step closer to the cure!

2007-06-18T12:18:00.000-07:00

Charity work makes you feel so damn good! I am trying to get in the habit of doing it more often (charity work that is!). Thanks to Funmi, we participate annually in the Walk for the cure, her company is one of the sponsors and they invite us to join in their efforts every year! Granted it’s early as hell on a Saturday but I really don’t mind doing it because it is fun as well as fulfilling! Anywho I made it there early this time, I even found legal parking. A bunch of us showed up to help out! Funmi’s boss is mad cool, very humble and loves it when I boss everyone around! There were loads of freebies from several companies. Who know next year I might actually walk…but wait o..did I say that last year? I mean it this time sha!

LOVERS MAKE ME SICK!

2007-06-15T13:52:00.001-07:00

There is this lady in my office whose husband comes by to see her everyday! Brings her lunch then swings by to pick her up after work! Mind you they both ride scooters to work o! So its not like he need to give her a ride! Is that cute or what! I am sitting there observing them from the window, he backs her laptop and secures her safely on her scooter then he gets on his and they ride home. She is a short, full figured, Asian woman…cute as a button with demure character and I swear he is a Brad Pitt’s clone!! I soooo want to take their picture so you see what I mean, but its way too early to get fired!

The other day he comes in and she tells him she has to work late, he looked really disappointed like the best part of his day was his ride home with his wife...then he promised to ride back to pick her up in a couple hours…AWWW!!!

He is always very friendly and addresses me by my first name, I like it when people do that its so personal that is the opposite of impersonal abi? Anyhow as I drove home yesterday they were both riding right behind me and I swear I almost bashed my car watching them from my side mirrors. At each traffic light he would ask her if she was alright and she would nod alright. My 8 minutes drive home was so mushy I felt like I had just seen ‘The Notebook’ a second time!
Out of curiosity I asked them how long they’ve been married and he answers “8 years!” Alleluia romance still lives!!!

I have never seen Nigerian men display that kind of affection towards their women…And why the hell not?!

Where you at?

2007-06-13T14:58:00.000-07:00

Damn it’s been a minute! Lets see here...Alot has been happening mehn!! I haven’t had the time nor the will to blog. I have moved residences...AGAIN! I know its retarded moving every year but hey...can’t help it! I finally moved the last of my things last night..omo this na real stress o! So let me gist you small...I contacted this company that provides labor for my move...for some $15 per hour but for some reason when it was time for me to move the office was closed. So I am driving down the street and I see this Kokoye (is that derogatory?) I asked him if he wanted to help me move and he said yeah so I put him in my car, then he leads me down some alley to get a couple more. This one dude was reeking of alcohol like he showered with it so I asked him to bounce, he threw a hissy fit and insisted on bus fare back to his spot, I gave him $2 in change cause that was all the cash I had and he finally gets down. He threw the money at me and whipped out his uncircumcised penis! da hell! When I got back to my crib everyone was rolling and the called me an idiot for going alone and for being a cheap ass...not my fault jare...the whole of Raleigh was sick of me moving and I really couldn’t afford proper movers considering I lost my job about a month ago! Yes o! BTW.... Since some Nosey mofo was so pressed to hear gist he called my former employer digging for information, I will fill you in (all you had to do was ask...Amebo Oshi!!) Anywho.... My company was downsizing, I saw it coming because there were a lot of closed doors and unexpected visit from the head honchos, what I did not know was how soon! So I got the axe, so did 7 other folks in my office. I should have been sad but I was perfectly calm and took it extremely well, my boss joked that he thought we might need security after they told me the news. I was technically employed through the month of May but he told me I did not have to come in, plus I would receive severance and shit! So that is how I lost my, have your own office, show up at 11am, leave at 5 and earn the same amount as the infamous master degree holder job! Who knew!
Reality that my severance period was fast approaching drove me back into job search...and I am officially newly employed...do you still doubt that I am highly favored? To God be the glory!
so at this new gig, I have to be in but 7:45 and smile like I won the lottery all damn day long, I swear my jaw is hurting from the stupid grin I have been sporting. I am not naturally a smiley person, infact I frown sef, its not intentional but that is my face dammit! So now I have to make a conscious effort to smile and be pleasant from 745 till 5, God help those that have to deal with me after hours! Buhahahaha

What was I saying sef? Ok so I moved. I have a bunch of pictures to put up! Birthday shout outs to send! Announcements to make ETC
Let me start with the birthdays! My baby girl LP, My best Pig Remi, Bayo my little brother, Bode, Tolu Peter and Paul...and anyone else I may have forgotten.
How about we planned a little birthday party for Remi, we were all going to hide in her crib and surprise her but everyone was late getting there except Ade! We had a blast anyway...I have to orgarnize my pictures

A big shout out to my baby sister Oyin on her graduation from high school! I am sooo proud of you sorry I could not come out to share your special day but I am sure big sis and mumsy represented to the utmost! Good luck as you move on to bigger and better things, just don’t do PHD like Sister Nikky (that shit make you crazy!!!)

I don’t know what is going on o but I have gained a lot of weight! As in a lot! I can even front like I am a medium anymore! I am not doing anything different, I think my metabolism is slowing down.... after all I am nearing the big 30!

Anyway, That all for now, I will be back with more gists, like my drunken episode last Saturday..God help me! I don’t understand why I even drink alcohol sef, I hate the taste and smell plus I have a low tolerance! I don’t apologize often but when I do its sincere so to all the folks I abused verbally and physically on Saturday…my bad!
I got an email today that’s got me all excited but for the first time I am keeping on the DL…stay tuned sha cause you know my ass can’t keep a secret!
Aii folks…gotta run now, I need to go arrange my shoes!

Thanks Ade for bring it to my attention!
How can I forget Debs boy! Happy birthday boo boo...I swear if you were not Remi's little brother I would sooo do you! This Mofo is the funniest person I have ever met, you should sooo do stand up!

Happy Birthday Gbemi!

2007-05-15T08:59:00.000-07:00

Today is my brother's birthday, I called him this morning to wish him happy birthday and he was like "Oh yeah thanks" like he had somehow forgotten about it! I bet a lot of folks don't even know I have a brother, actually I have 3 depending on who's counting.
Gbemi and my sister Oyin are the quite laid back ones, My Older sister Nikky is the brains in the family, loud and Vulga as hell! And mua...2nd born black sheep...wouldn't have it any other way!

God has been extremely good to my family this year, especially to Gbemi and I am positive that this is just the beginning of greater things to come. I am so proud of you papi!!! You know I am not the affectionate type and I have probably never told you this but dude...I love you, I am proud of you and I am so glad you are my brother!! Have fun today and give Missy my love! Smoochies!!

Ashandy is old as hell!!

2007-05-15T08:28:00.000-07:00

So our NY in NC omoge Ashandy...AKA..Shady...AKA...Iya Rodo celebrated her bafday yesterday! For some reason, I thought it was the 15th... (Remi’s Dummas) Anywho, I'd like to wish Ashandy a very happy birthday!!!

This Heifer is high spirited and loads of fun to be around....plus she carries the Psycho crown in Raleigh right next to Remi and I. Ashandy baby…happy birthday!

I was looking for a really jacked up picture of Ashandy to post but your ass got lucky babes...dont worry I will check my laptop at home, I am sure I will find something!

I remember when we met Ashandy, I was determined not to like her, she was loud as hell and very friendly, we ended up spending hours talking to her and I found myself easing up and laughing hysterically despite myself!

Now the heifer gets on my damn nerves, one of the very few people who know how to push my buttons….Love you loads gal! May God in his infinite mercies grant you all your heart desires as you celebrate one of many more birthdays to come.

It’s on and popping at Ashandy’s Saturday! BBQ Egba style, Asun, suya and things...be there!!

MCDENTIST

2007-05-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

I finally got my wisdom tooth pulled the other day! The shit was bothering me and my dentist said it would cost $450 per tooth and I need to pull all four! Abi were ni wan ni? Where some folks are looking for spare teeth, I should just yank 4 commot? Oh hell…. Okay! The pain became unbearable so I called around and found a dentist that would do it for me on quick notice…Dental ER if you will. Ndidi offered to go with me and I took her up on it, Lord knows my whining ass will cry like a baby so I could definitely use support! I filled out endless paperwork and waited patiently for my turn to go under.

In comes this Island bloke! God must have made him on a Sunday Wahlai! Dark glowing skin, perfectly manicured fingers and the perfect set of 32s I have ever laid eyes on. Ndidi and I exchanges silent looks that spoke volumes! Good Gawd! This hot piece of man candy can help himself to my mouth anytime! He spoke in a deep voice with a sexy Caribbean accent; his scrubs were cut so you can see he works out….alot!!!! We giggled like little girls and he was all business….and Intelligent too…it’s a wrap! For a minute I felt like one of the chicks on Greys Anatomy and OMO McDreamy has nothing on McDentist!!!

It took about 10 minutes for the extraction and McDentist gave me a list of DO DO’s for the next 24 hours;

Don’t talk
Don’t eat
Don’t smoke
Don’t Gargle
Don’t use straw
Don’t take gauze out the rest of the day

I quickly fell out of lust with McDentist as in…. you wan kill me? 1, 2 and 3 were totally unreasonable!!! We stepped out of the building and I lit my boros! After all that omo, I think I’ll have another sef! I was sooooo hungry so Ndidi and I went to Cheesecake factory for lunch, I ordered macaroni and cheese, clam chowder soup, mashed potatoes and grilled salmon with Iced tea, I was feeling pretty good, she looked at me in amazement but I assured her, I had high pain tolerance! I went to the bathroom and removed the gauze and rinsed my mouth, then I returned to the table and ate a little of everything I ordered, plus I drank out of a straw!

I was pretty proud of my defiant ass so we decided to walk through the mall… that is…. until the anesthesia wore off! Good Gawd!!!! It was like stabbing a wound continuously! I had an instant fever and my head felt like it was about to explode! I could barely walk! Instead of driving to the Pharmacy to fill my prescription, I was feeling like QB almighty! I was on the verge of tears when we pulled up to the pharmacy, I could barely see. Every sound I heard went straight to my head. Finally I got my drugs…God bless Percocet! I swallowed two pills to calm my ass down I replaced my gauze and followed doctors order the rest of the day! One down and 3 more to go!

A designer to look out for!

2007-05-14T08:51:00.000-07:00

Click to enlarge image

Creativity has a new face. Az`ure (As You Are) designs are the artistic creation of LP. Each elaborate piece is hand painted and given detailed attention to ensure unrivaled exclusivity. Casual couture that glams up any wardrobe while maintaining personal style!

Click to enlarge image

This summer I am rocking nothing but pieces from the summer collection. The great thing is that if you have an idea, LP will customize your designs to your taste! She pays detailed attention to each piece to ensure perfection every time! Did I mention they are affordable? To order yours please send an email to AZUREDESIGNSLP@GMAIL.COM someone will contact you within 24 hours be sure to say QB sent you!

Photos by: Mark Daniels

The website is coming soon!

Hey Yall

2007-05-09T08:21:00.000-07:00

It's been a hot minute abi? My bad! I have so much shit going on right now, its not even funny! I lost my Grandma....I am told its not affecting me like it should but omo, dunno o! I have never felt more stressed! Everything and everyone is getting on my damn nerves! I was given 3 days off for bereavement at work which so far I have used very unwisely! Sleeping and sleeping then more sleeping!

I finally got the pictures up! you know the bad hair experience, I am told my facial expression is worse than the hair...either way...enjoy them!!

My dawg dupe is in Naija, I miss her sha, she keeps me financially stable, reminds me of all of the things on my to-do list and why I absolutely do not need another pair of shoes...hurry back dupe I need you!!!!

Okay so let me fill you in on whats been happening.

I went out with my oyinbo friend Karin, she wanted to rent a limo and bar crawl, I invited Bode because she is the craziest Mofo I know and she fits right in with Oyinbo people. It was ridiculous!!! I was so tired, I begged Bode to take me home but she was having way too much fun and Karin was on another planet!

Tolu's sister came for a visit, kinda weird but Molayo enjoyed having her fathers family over so it was all good.

Remi, Ade, Dupe, Oyinade and I went to some Owambe renewal of vows....we wore Iro and buba and had a blast.

Princess o and I spent the entire day Saturday at the beauty salon, she needed a perm and I need a haircut, molayo got a doobie wrap and could not stay out of the mirror! I hated my style so I combed it out and did the damn thing myself!

I have this new passion for baking Moi moi as in baking and we've been eating that in my house everyday! I will post the recipe if yall like.

LOL moment: last Sunday, I casually mentioned to a couple people that I made obe buka, before I knew what was happening, word was out and I had about 12 people heading to my house, I decided to run away and hide at LP's crib. I got cursed out in different dialects and I eventually confessed that I was hiding at LPs. I felt really bad because I wasted every one's time and still ended up cooking. ( Next week...Mrs Olopade will be hosting us..see yall there!)We had a blast, we played American idol and I took really embarrassing pictures of the Raleigh boys playing guitars! I even have one of my Ace D1 wearing my heels!! Omo there is a charge for that one, I think I will sell it on Ebay!

I have this thing now where I say I'm going to do something and I don't, like the Sunday incident. Then there was last Saturday when I hyped everyone up to go out and I didn't show up! And last Friday, I was supposed to go to a vigil but I didn't feel like it last minute! And then last Sunday, I had every intention of going to a baby shower but bailed last minute...that is so not me! The tip of the iceberg, I missed my class on Monday! I teach MS office on Mondays at my church and I totally forgot! I was available but I just forgot all about it! My students were there waiting for me and I did not show! I am starting to piss folks off and they are not taking me seriously anymore...I am turning a new leaf!

Bode drove us to church on Sunday and spent the day with us, she was overwhelmed at how dramatic Molayo and I were, then add Oyinade and a bit of LP and DB...she kept saying WOW!!! I drove the handicap cart around the grocery store because my shoes hurt like hell...I wonder if they will take that mess back and give me a bigger one!

Remi and Sammy came over on Monday and we ate, slept and played scrabble, Remi won but I didn't care because I beat Sammy's punk ass! I made obe buka and moi moi...again!!!

Monday night we did our wing thing at Linwood Grill, I took Princess O because she loves the wings! Seyi and DB and Amaka joined the usual suspects.

I have not seen Ashandy in about...1 month...Sade you want some company? Will Rodo be available tonight at about 7pm? Princess O and I are coming for dinner!

Okay I don't think I missed anything!

A big BIRTHDAY shout out to Uncle Timi...nucka you sure is old!!!! Buhahaha

GET HAIRAPY

2007-04-30T11:31:00.000-07:00

So last weekend, I decided to take my braids out, it had been in for almost 2 months and I was done to say the least!
I stayed up all night taking them out, LP helped for a hot minute but then she bounced and it was me and my skull. Finally at about 3am, I was done…. Phew!!!
I had spoken with my co-worker and she told me about some lady she knew that does a mean ass weave! I was more than excited to give her a try.

Angela: Girl she is really good but she is mad expensive
QB: What's expensive?
Angela: Like $100 but she will do a good job though
QB: Ok, make me an appointment
Angela: I’ll have her call you, her name is Woodletta

I am saying though, Angela’s hair is always on point so why not? So what if her name is Woodletta?! Plus I think $100 is more than reasonable for sewn in tracks. My guy does glue in for $80 and that is mediocre service from an arrogant, self absorbed dodi-faya, I put up with the BS because he does a hell of a job. So why not try something new? Besides I am a little traumatized from my last glue experience.

I got up quickly on Saturday and ran to the beauty supply store to pick up some tracks, I called Woodie to let her know I was running 15 minutes late, she said I should take my time because she is running late too. I got to the shop at about 10:15 for my 9:30 appointment and this heifer still hadn’t arrived. The neighborhood was terrifying! I couldn’t believe I was still in Raleigh, the place looked like a set straight from the movie Boys in da hood! Except this was Bola in the hood!! Folks out on the street corners drinking 40s out paperbags as early as 10 AM?! I wound up my window and locked my door and sat in blazing heat, from fear of being shot or robbed or both! I had half the sense to run and find someplace else to do my do, but I figured it’s sorta like Buka food back in Naija…the dirtiest spots have the best grubs so I will wait it out!

At about 11:30 this we`re comes waltzing in like she was doing me a favor. I told her I needed my edges touched up and I wanted a part on the side. I am usually very tender headed and my relaxer starts burning as soon as you put it in but this cream soufflé she doused me with did not burn at all! I asked her the brand of the relaxer and she said Bantu mild! Never heard of it….. I did not want to seem bougee so I suffered in silence. She had some slow chick wash my hair and an even slower one braid it. 5 hours later, I was given the mirror and my reflection freaked me out! I figured I would go home and fix it up. I paid her the $100 and gave the slow shampoo girl $5, the apoda that braided my hair aint getting shit! I pulled the hair back in a pony tail and noticed all the tracks were still showing. I ran my fingers down the middle and found tracks with no weave sown on it! I started to cry! I drove back to the salon and asked her why I got such a botched up job and she offered to take some hair from the back and add it to the missing line! Da hell? This is not Bosley!!! After 5 hours?! Omo I was pissed, I told her to forget it and I drove back to the beauty supply to purchased a wig. Ade, Dupe and Remi all thought I was exaggerating and the hair couldn’t be that bad. LA told me to get a second opinion before I took it out. Dupe took one look at the do and she was like “Ok…please remove it!” Remi’s mum and Ade had a field day laughing at me. I begged Ade to take it out and wore my wig out.

On Monday I decided to take the morning off and get my hair done…again! Only no beauty salons were opened so I ended up at some upscale white salon in Cary! They were very careful with their choice of words in telling me that they don’t service black hair, I was rolling at how uncomfortable and akward it was for the shop owner…Buhahahahaha!!! She finally suggested I go to JC Penny and she even called ahead for me. When I got to JC Penny they called on the stylist that would work on me and she was INDIAN! OH HELL NO!!!!!! I was so desperate I actually sat in her chair and allowed her to do my hair! $85 and 2 hours later I looked like Condoleezza Rice!! I’ll bet good money she gets her hair done at JC Penny!

Lessons learned
1. Don’t let Woodletta or any of her cousins do your hair
2. The Beyonce look is not for everybody!
3. Always have a great wig on standby for hair emergencies
4. Thoroughly inspect your hair before paying for service.
5. Stick to what you know

The Crystal ball says....

2007-04-20T12:37:00.000-07:00

So one of my girlfriend got proposed to this past weekend and has kept it a secret because they are having some cultural difficulties…can I even call it that?
So here is the story: Boy met girl, they love each other, she is Yoruba and he is Ibo, they’ve been dating for about a year now. He proposes and she calls her folks up in Naija to tell them the splendid news! Only they did not find it so splendid. Her mum says their priest (don’t ask me what sort) looked into the matter and does not think they should get married! Egba mi! Give me a break! When will the madness stop? I am so sick and tired of blaming every idiosyncrasy on culture or on the being Nigerian, does being Nigerian not warrant having common sense? Don’t get me wrong I definitely think you should pray about your mate and seek God first in all things but this is different! Since when did they become Ms Cleo? A lot of these hungry priests have no vision whatsoever, they concoct this BS just to get a few bucks and in the process ruin a perfectly good thing. If its not some priest or Babalawo, it's our parents themselves! We love and respect our elders dearly but NEWSFLASH!!! They won’t be alive forever and they are not going live in the marital home with you, only you will have to deal with the consequences of your actions. I know they want the best for us, what parent doesn’t? But what I don’t know is that they are certain what that is. Ideally everyone seeks their parents’ blessings for their union, approval at the least, but where do we draw the line? I know one couple that broke up over the dude being Ondo and the girl Ijebu? The dude parent gave homegirl so much grief that she couldnt take it…Omo who cares!!!! They allowed their families to cloud their judgment and compromised an otherwise perfect union. Da hell? So because of some ancient beef the Olori’s of Ijebuland had with the Asiwajus of Ondo….me and my boo can’t quarve? Omo….that na long tin o!
A woman dear to my heart was going to marry a man, her parent forbade it because he was Muslim then later blessed her marriage to a Christian so to speak, only this MOFO turned out to be the greatest asswipe planet earth has ever been cursed with! Makes you wonder if she had followed her heart and what coulda, woulda, shoulda been!
Granted this madness is not limited to Nigerians, but we’ve got to break the vicious cycle and charity begins at home. Please pardon me but I am outraged at the alarming number of incidents such as these that have occurred and continue daily. My own feisty views aside, do you really think that allowing others (not God o!) to decide who you are going to spend the rest of your life with shows innate cognizance of that sort of commitment?

Nursery School ryhmes

2007-04-19T19:22:00.000-07:00

Aww, how totally cute! LP sent this to me the other day. Mehn..I remember all of these!!! I dont think they recite these in nursery school these days!! Does anyone have naija ones to add? I got a couple...
'Emi si wo so po waya!'
and I dont remember how this one starts but it ends...'panti e wa ka jo so'.... oooohh and the last one 'Bread and butter baskelebe ma je o gbono...baskelebe ma je o tutu...baskelebe!!!' Damn I'm hot!!! Ok maybe those arent nursery ryhmes..but warefa...got any?

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

Up Jack got
And home did trot
As fast as he could caper
Went to bed
And plastered his head
With vinegar and brown paper.

There were 12 disciples Jesus called to help Him:
Simon Peter, Andrew, James, his brother John,
Phillip, Thomas Matthew,
James the son of Alphaeus,
Thaddaeus, Simon, Judas,
and Bartholomew.

He has called us too,
He has called us too.
We are His disciples.
I am one, are you?
He has called us too.
He has called us too.
We are His disciples,
we His work must do.

Hush-a-bye, baby,
in the tree top.
When the wind blows,
the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks,
the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby,
cradle and all

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full;
One for the master,
And one for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.

Cobbler, cobbler, mend my shoe.
Get it done by half past two.
Half past two is much too late!
Get it done by half past eight.

Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs, and downstairs,
And in my lady's chamber.

There I met an old man
Who wouldn't say his prayers!
I took him by the left leg
And threw him down the stairs.

Hey, diddle, diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed
To see such sport,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.

Hickory, dickory, dock,
The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The mouse ran down!
Hickory, dickory, dock.

Hot cross buns!
Hot cross buns!
One a penny, two a penny,
Hot cross buns!

If you have no daughters,
Give them to your sons!
One a penny, two a penny,
Hot cross buns!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!

Hush, little baby, don't say a word
Mama's gonna buy you a mockin'bird If that mockin'bird don't sing
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring
If that diamond ring turns brass,
Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass
If that looking glass gets broke
Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat
If that billy goat don't pull,
Mama's gonna buy you a cart and mule
If that cart and mule turn over
Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover
If that dog named Rover won't bark
Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart
If that Horse and Cart fall down,
Then you'll be the sweetest little baby in town

It's raining, it's pouring;
The old man is snoring.
Bumped his head
And he went to bed
And he couldn't get up in the morning.

Rain, rain, go away;
Come again another day;
Little Johnny wants to play.

Jack, be nimble,
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The candlestick.

Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe.

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep
And can't tell where to find them.
Leave them alone, And they'll come home,
Wagging their tails behind them

London Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, Falling down.

London Bridge is falling down,
My fair lady.

Take a key and lock her up,
Lock her up, Lock her up.

Take a key and lock her up,
My fair lady.

How will we build it up,
Build it up, Build it up?

How will we build it up,
My fair lady?

Build it up with silver and gold,
Silver and gold, Silver and gold.

Build it up with silver and gold,
My fair lady.

Gold and silver I have none,
I have none, I have none.

Gold and silver I have none,
My fair lady.

Build it up with needles and pins,
Needles and pins, Needles and pins.

Build it up with needles and pins,
My fair lady.

Pins and needles bend and break,
Bend and break, Bend and break.

Pins and needles bend and break,
My fair lady.

Build it up with wood and clay,
Wood and clay, Wood and clay.

Build it up with wood and clay,
My fair lady.

Wood and clay will wash away,
Wash away, Wash away.

Wood and clay will wash away,
My fair lady.

Build it up with stone so strong,
Stone so strong, Stone so strong.

Build it up with stone so strong,
My fair lady.

Stone so strong will last so long,
Last so long, Last so long.

Stone so strong will last so long,
My fair lady.

Mary had a little lamb,
little lamb, little lamb,
Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
Mary went, Mary went,
and everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.

1, 2

One, two, buckle my shoe;

3, 4

Three, four, knock at the door;

5, 6

Five, six, pick up sticks;

7, 8

Seven, eight, lay them straight;

9, 10

Nine, ten, a good fat hen;

Peter Piper picked a peck
Of pickled peppers;
A peck of pickled peppers
Peter Piper Picked

If Peter Piper picked a peck
Of Pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers
Peter Piper Picked?

Polly, put the kettle on,
Polly, put the kettle on,
Polly, put the kettle on,
We'll all have tea.

Sukey, take it off again,
Sukey, take it off again,
Sukey, take it off again,
They've all gone away.

Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been?
I've been to London to visit the Queen.
Pussycat, pussycat, what did you there?
I frightened a little mouse under her chair.

Rain, rain, go away,
Come again another day;
Little Johnny wants to play.

Ring-a-ring o' roses,
A pocket full of posies,
Achoo!, Achoo!
We all fall down.

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

Solomon Grundy,
Born on Monday,
Christened on Tuesday,
Married on Wednesday,
Took ill on Thursday,
Worse on Friday,
Died on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday:
This is the end
Of Solomon Grundy.

Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.

This old man, he played one,
He played knick knack with his thumb,
With a
Knick, knack, paddy whack,
Give the dog a bone;
This old man came rolling home

Three blind mice,
See how they run!
They all ran after a farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife.
Did you ever see such a sight in your life,
As three blind mice?

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.

Eency, weency spider,
Crawled up the water spout.
Down came the rain
And washed the spider out.
Out came the sunshine
And dried up all the rain,
So the eency, weency spider
Crawled up the spout again.

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away.

It’s raining, it’s pouring,
The old man is snoring;
He went to bed,
And bumped his head
And couldn’t get up in the morning.

Happy Birthday Princess O!!!

2007-04-19T09:56:00.000-07:00

I know it’s a bit late but I have been swamped lately...besides we are celebrating my baby's birthday all week!!!

I want to say a big Happy Birthday to my Princess O! Omolayo was born April 16, 2000 and became the best thing I have ever done in my life! She is the smartest, sassiest little girl anyone has ever seen. There are so many times when you wonder 'what if' but where Princess O is concerned, I cannot imagine my life without her!

I thank God for his tender mercies, it’s been a rough road but God has been consistently faithful! I thank my family and friends for their support and I thank my Raleigh folks…it does indeed take a village to raise a child!

I sooo can’t believe my baby is 7 years old! It freaks me out sometimes, that I am wholly responsible for this precious child! WOW!!! She actually wears my tee-shirts these days! Its either she is getting big or I need to stop shopping at Limited Too! LOL

Omolayo Feyintoluwa may God in his infinite mercies continue to guide and protect you. You will continue to be a source of Joy to me and all those around you. Every thing you touch will be blessed and every effort you make will prosper. You will never lack and everything its going to take (financially, emotionally, and spiritually) for me to be the best mother for you will be at my disposal in abundance all the days of my life in Jesus name. All those who curse you will be cursed and all those who bless you will be blessed.
Joy, love, peace and prosperity will seek you and dwell with you for as long as you live.
You will not be ill, you will not die young, and you will not be mocked in Jesus name…Amen!!

Happy Birthday my dear Princess O! I love you more than anything in the world!! MUAH!

BEST PICTURES FOR 2006

2007-04-13T07:03:00.000-07:00

Buhahahaha...did yall see PAMELA!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!

OK so maybe I added a liitle extra....dont you agree with my nominations? Omo...this is what happens when I am forced to get to work at 9:00am, I get less done and I am more bored!

I was forced to vote myself best gale for 06 since the gale competition don scatter...nonsense!!!!

I can soooo see a brother getting shot by the popo for carrying that bag with the gun on it....buhahaha...OK not so funny!

Omo.....did yall see Mona in America? My coworker says you can look like Mona for just $2K!!! A proper surgeon will do one boob and an Intern will do the other one and you save a few thousands...send an email to buy1get1halfoff@gmail.com ...Buhahahaha

Oh ...LP, I have got to get that red teeshirt (love/hate), you think you can make that for me? Except mine will be green! When is St Patricks day yall? I think I just found a new favorite holiday!

Why na? Yes I did put up that jacked up picture of myself on WWW...hell its been sitting on my photo blog since 2004! Buhahaha....as Sade would say...thats BADDDD!!!

Is it me or does the Levi chick have a great ass? No cottage cheese, no dimples...me likes!!

Have a great weekend yall...and Please do something I havent done in a hot minute! MuaH!!! LuV YoU LonG TimE!!!

BEST Offer FOR A TICKET TO THE WORLD CUP 2006:

BEST GOOGLE AD 2006:

BEST TEESHIRT DESIGN 2006:

BEST JACKED UP PICTURE EVER!!!!

BEST LEVI'S AD 2006 :

BEST HAIR-PRODUCT AD 2006 :

BEST REFRIGERATOR MAGNET 2006 :

BEST BEFORE-AND-AFTER 2006:

BEST QUEEN OF THE BLONDES:

BEST Hand Bag 2006

BEST Parking area 2006

Best Gele of 2006

And Winner

ONE WORD RESPONSES

2007-04-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

I stole this from Dolly...feel free to steal it from me!

1. Yourself: Dramatic

2. Your partner: Non existent at the moment

3. Your hair: braided

4. Your mother: Mad Cool

5. Your father: missing

6. Your favorite item: My red bag

7. Your dream last night: weird!

8. Your favorite drink: Iced Tea

9. Your dream car: Don't care about cars

10. The room you are in: office

11. Your ex: mysterious

12. Your fear: Failure

13. What you want to be in 10 years: content

14. Who you hung out with last night: LP and DB and Princess O

15. What you're not: Mean

16. Muffins: Ewww

17: One of your wish list items: Green Patent Louboutins
18: Time: Precise

19. The last thing you did: Caused an accident

20. What you are wearing: Baby Blue sweater with faux shirt inserts Pin-stripped Black and Blue and white pants, black suede shoes and Red bag!

21. Your favorite weather: Summer

22. Your favorite book: He is just not that into you

23. The last thing you ate: Spaghetti DB made last night! My baby can cook!!

24. Your life: complicated

25. Your mood: Unstable

26. Your best friend: Remi, Moji, LA, LP, D1 and on occasions Dupe and Ade

27. What you're thinking about right now: food!

28. Your car: filthy!

29. What you are doing at the moment: Typing and picking a buga

30. Your summer: Busy

31. Your relationship status: Single

32. What is on your TV: At work?

33. What is the weather like: Rainy and I wore suede...go figure!

34. When was the last time you laughed: last night...courtesy DB

Last night at the movies....

2007-04-10T09:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday after work I figured I would meet the rest of my peeps at the Banjizzy’s, Daddy Banjizzy was in our hood and we all went to say hello. We all left around 7 PM, I picked up LP because we were about the only to MOFOs on the planet that hadn’t seen 300…not sure I was going to like it, it had that gladiator vibe and I am a chick flick diva for life…but I decided to check it out! Princess O and Dami passed on the movie so it was just First Born and I. We stopped by our Monday Joint and ordered some wing and french-fries…Our bags were huge so we could smuggle this shit in hassle free! Totally my idea! But hey 25cents wings beats pop corn any day!
As we stood in line there was a couple in front of us and when they got to the attendant the following transpired.

Girl: I am really glad you asked me out

Dude: yeah me too…after this we could get some drinks

Girl: Cool….that sounds great.

Dude: Two tickets for 300 please

Attendant: That will be $14 even

Dude: (hands her his Credit card) here you go

Attendant: I am sorry sir your card has been declined

Dude: (Turns to girl) you got any money?

Girl: (TURNS BEET RED) uhhh … yeah! (Pays in cash)

Girl: This is so embarrassing….. I am telling everyone I know

Dude: I am sorry…this never happens!

LP and I looked at each other in horror! Yepa!!! No he dirent! That MOFO knew damn well he aint have no money and brought this babe to the movies, it was so obvious because he did not even flinch when they told him his card declined! Omo…that is bad!!!!

Reminds me of this time I went to lunch with Funmi, when I went to pay for my food..the card declined...I nearly had a stroke because i had inhaled the entire meal like it was finna expire.....thank God funmi was there...Omo...thats really bad!!! But I digress......

Anyway, we sha settled in our seat and brought out our wings and fries and ate happily as we watched the movie. My take on 300…a definite MUST SEE!!!

Happy Birthday Sade!!!

2007-04-09T11:21:00.000-07:00

Meanwhilly, this weekend was Sade’s birthday, plus Debs Boi was in town so we decided to hang out with him…Omo, tell me why everyone showed up except for Debisi! It was peaches all the same!!! Omo, we had a BLAST!!!! Apparently there was a guest list and by the time I tried to add my name to the list it had closed. I told them my name was Funmi and then I peeped Dayo and Bayo’s name on the list so my babies LP and DB were Dayo and Bayo for the evening; I knew D1 was out of town but if Bayo showed up…UNLUCKY BOSS! Buhahaha!!! I looked up some random name for Ade as well and it was sooo on!
On Saturday, I slept in late, I was so tired from the night before, I made a list of my to-dos for the weekend and decided it was time to get up! I stared at the pile of laundry that has taken permanent residence on my sofa and rolled my eyes “tomorrow after church for shizzle” I lied to myself. My Princess was glued to her TV and I decided to make pancakes and Eggs…never mind the fact that its 2pm! Negaratis threatened to keep me in bed but I shook it off and drove Princess o to the braid gallery, her hair was a hot mess and I really did not feel like doing it, I stopped at the beauty supply to get some weave for Ade, I had this idea for a hot do and I was going to experiment with her! Ade wasn’t very pleased with the results but I thought the hair had potential. I am really rocking these braids o! 6 weeks and counting…omo they are turning into dreds!
Before I knew it is 8pm and Sade’s dinner was at 7pm…Omo, I had not even showered!!! I struggled to find something sensible to wear and I settled for my halter neck top and my skinny jeans…that should do it….I went with my standard green jewelry…I so need an new favorite color! I topped it off with my green leather belt and black Suede wedges…..Damn I look fly! If only I had a pair of green patent leather wedges…Good gawd!

The pair I have been eye-ing will most likely remain in my dreams!!! It took me another 20 minutes to glam up my face and I was outhie bouthie. I really should try to be on time for sturvs…its getting kinda lame that I am always late!!!
I finally arrived at my destination and the food was peaches!!! I ordered ribs and a midori sour and we were dancing to old skool music! Everybody came out to show Sade some love. It was an absolute blast!

sade's b day

I gave BB my car to take home because she wanted to leave early and I caught a ride home with Dami.
Please tell me why some random oyinbo man was following us in his truck! He followed us home so Dami drove past my house and we led him to dupe's house instead, he followed us there too! When we realized he wasn't backing off we started speeding and we lost him at a traffic light! That was some scurry sturvs!!!
By the time I got home, I was hungry again! I made some noodles with Boiled egg and ate in bed while I caught up with I love New York reruns!

On Sunday Princess O was up at 7am, bathed, dressed and ready to go! I don't know who she gets it from...its not me sha o! We got to church at about 11:30. BB decided to ride with me to church so I let her drive...big mistake! This heifer was going 80 miles per hour in a 65 zone...with mu Kia! Oh hell na....I was hysterical, she ignored me and kept a straight face...omo...I am never letting her drive my hooptie again! Service was very interesting...Oh yeah...Happy Easter yall! After service we headed out to Pastor O crib and had lunch and an early dinner.
Finally made it home at about 6pm and crashed!
Overall.....a very awesome weekend!

As one door closes.....

2007-04-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

OK so, I haven't said anything about my mystery lover in a bit, I guess I was hoping that we'd kiss and make-up and I wouldn't have to bore the world with the sordid details of our break-up....well looks like its really over so I am officially single again! I did not throw any pity parties, there will be no male bashing, no negativity, no angry woman syndrome! I am very OK!
It was amazing while it lasted and I guess from past experience, I know its gonna be aiit!
I am not taking back what I said either about 'when you find someone worthy of you, someone who God made just for you, the bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh, you will be glad it took so damn long and glad you were patient enough to wait'..... I still feel that way. I especially feel like..... 'no matter how pained you are or how much your heart feels like its going to bust wide open....you get over it!'. So its probably with this new knowledge that no one was able to tell anything was amiss! Phew there it is...wide open. I tried to keep the whole relationship on the DL but I was sooo happy, I couldn't help myself...Don't get it twisted, I am still happy now but I was happier sha! I got teased alot about the circumstances surrounding our relationship, it was almost too fairytalish to be true, but I have since discovered, I am not the most patient Mofo, Understanding...very, patient...naaa blad! I have also learned that when you have great expectations....you are very likely to get your feelings hurt. So expect nothing and each good thing will be a pleasant surprise! I'll have you know, i got to my office this morning at 9:30am!!! I can soooo do anything I put my mind to!!! OK, I am off the catch the sale at off fifth...therapy baby!!!

New York to London

2007-04-04T11:51:00.000-07:00

So I am sitting at my desk bored beyond belief and I get this email from Funmi in NY;

Just take 60 seconds to do this: Please pass this along to your friends & family

1. go to www.google.com
2. click on "maps"
3. click on "get directions"
4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)
5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)(hit get directions)
6. scroll down to step #23

I figured why the hell not? I aint doing shit anyway! She was right about the 60 seconds part infact I think it was less sef. I fell on the floor laughing my ass off! Are you freaking kidding me? Google don mad o! Oya your turn...try it out, its worth the laugh! I even tried NC to London too...buhhahahaha....IZTEWMUSH!

Thanks Funmi!!

ATL Baby!!!!

2007-04-03T12:44:00.000-07:00

I left work at about 3:30pm Friday cause I heard Debs-boi was in town form Jand, I headed to Remi’s crib and hung out till about 5:30pm. I am doing ATL this weekend with my make believe family for our yearly vacation, Dami-B could not make it and I decided not to take Princess O. ATL was the bombdigidy as in I am seriously considering moving there, but I would hate to leave all my Raleigh fans! HEHEHE, we got in late on Friday and drove to some joint, I drove the whole way so I was a bit too tired to mingle, and we all agreed that we really needed sleep. We checked into our rooms and were knocked out within the hour!

ATL

On Saturday, we got up to eat breakfast and met up with the other 29 folks that were in town for Lolade’s party. We decided we wanted to see the attractions in ATL and we were outhie bouthie. At about 2 pm we headed to the Georgia Aquarium. It was worth the $24 we dished at the gate, I felt like I was 6 years old, jumping up and down excited beyond my mind at the wonderful things I was seeing. I climbed into a hole with LP and Toyosi and we were face to face with the penguins! LP Dayo and Bayo all touched the star fish but Omo…I am not the one o! I really wish I brought Princess O, she would have peed her pants at the sight of the spider crab! We saw all kinds of different animals and I wondered how Noah got all these things in the Ark! We walked downtown to see a live concert. By the time it was all over, we were hungry as hell. Everyone wanted naija food so I called Moriam to organize grub! She said it would take an hour and these folks were ready to start eating each other so we settled for mama put! Omo, I have got to open a restaurant in Raleigh mehn!!! We don’t have any …not even one! The restaurant was noice, food was excellent, and service was warm and friendly. 2 pounded yam and egusi soup later we headed back to the hotel. We decided to nap for a bit before the party tonight.

For some reason, I left my Nair at home and the top I was planning on wearing to party was sleeveless! What will I do now? I looked through Bayo’s bathroom bag and then Dayo’s and I found some shaving sturvs! Hell yeah I though and I scooped the foul smelling lotion on my pits. I sat for a few minutes as instructed and then I hopped in the shower; I used a washcloth to swipe it clean and wahla! Hair be gone! After my shower, I looked for some sort of antiseptic to prevent bumps and I saw one in the same bag. I screamed like I had seen a ghost because the shit burned the hell out of me! LP came to my aid and laughed like any of this was funny! I could not put my arms down! She gave me some ointment to soothe my pits! Chineke Moi Moi!
So I was feeling like quite the artist as the young ladies lined up for me to do their make up, this one girl asked me if I do it for a living….....funny!

I have never felt so old in my life, surrounded by nothing but hot babes under 22, I tried to drag Dayo in my mood but he was too busy having a blast. These young bloods were popping campaign bottles and spending money like it had expiration date! One of them brought me a glass and I toasted to the good life. I watched as some chicks drank themselves to stupor and started falling out and reminisced about the days when getting drunk was cool ( at 28 its sooo not). Some cutie pie was chatting me up and I was feeling really bunz with myself blushing like hell when he guessed my age to be 23! Chill off now! I told him I was 29 and a mother to a 7 year old and he did not believe me….buhahahaha trying to make QB heads explode up in this murasucker! He was cute as a button but about 7 years too late!
Moriam came by to meet me there and we chilled till the lights came on! Thank God, I thought we’d never leave! I walked Moriam and her friends back to their car and she gave me a bowl of rice and designer stew…IZTEWMUSH!!! We butchered the food when we go back to the hotel and slept from the nigaritis that followed. I learned a new slang on this trip…outhie bouthie and Chill off courtesy Toyosi aka FYNE GAL from jand!.
Lolade and Toyosi came to wake us up for breakfast Sunday morning, but there was no way in hell I could get up and the thought of breakfast food made me sick so we passed. We finally got up at about 11am and I called the lobby to extend our check out time to 2pm. It was pouring hard outside but I managed to load the car up with our entire luggage. We said our goodbyes and headed back to Raleigh, LP was the designated driver so I slept the whole way back. We dropped Dayo and Bayo off and went to the Olopade’s house to steal meat because LP was still craving the egusi and I wanted to prove that mine would be just as bunz. I dropped LP off at some NCSU event and picked up Molayo from the Banjizzy’s. Dami and LP came over and we watched 6 degrees, new season yall and it’s hot!
It was a great weekend no doubt

My toaster radar has died!!!

2007-03-30T11:16:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, while getting my daily dose of caffine, one of my managers complimented me on my outfit, I said thank you and thought nothing of it then I got this random email from him asking me if I had use AOL messenger in the office because he would like to chat with me. I told him, I don’t use AOL but I use both Yahoo and MSN messenger. I thought it was rather random considering;

a) We are not allowed to use messenger at work
b) There is always outlook
c) We are in two different departments
d) His office is right in front of mine

He said he also uses yahoo and a few minutes later, his login pops up on my screen saying “hi there” I wasn’t sure how to respond so I typed “Cool’ Jesu Kristi! Egba mi o! I freaked and thought about all possible reasons why he would want to IM me? For why now? Never mind the fact that he looks like a white Will Smith, all buff and military and shit, this man is married! With like 5 kids!!! Is he hitting on me? Am I overreacting? ‘calm down’ I kept telling myself! I always read and hear about office situation with managers but it has never happened to me. Knowing my crazy ass, I would prolly call him out and get my ass fired! I called Remi and told her about it and she told me to wait it out and politely decline any indecent proposal! I had my own idea, I will avoid him COMPLETELY!!!

I started signing in my yahoo as invisible and dodging him at all cost, avoiding eye contact at meetings…basically I became weirder!

He never said much since then and we went about business as usual. Then today, I saw him all packed up and leaving his office at about noon, he came to say goodbye and told me that I’ve got great potential so I should keep it up!

Omobolanle!!!! Phew!! Ashe the man was planning on leaving the company ni and wanted to keep in touch! Here I am on another planet scared out of my mind that he was trying to holler! Buhahahaha My name is Bola and I am truly ashamed of myself!

It’s not my fault sha, E has convinced me that men always have ulterior motives with every woman they interact with and it’s never innocent and that at some point they have pictured being involved with them sexually, they don’t necessarily act on it but the thought has crossed their mind! Not sure how true that is but he definitely put the doubt in my head!

Hey yall!!

2007-03-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

I bloggville!!! I have been swamped with a whole bunch of crap last couple weeks but I saw this today and I just had to share..Omo, I dare somebody to wear this rii hurr!!! It kinda reminds me of this designer Custo, he may want to add this to his collection!!! I have ordered a bunch for christmas presents this year! Desola is getting one, Remi is getting one, Dupe is getting one, and I have LA, Yetti, Ade and Bode on back order! If you want one holla at QB!

What you see below are not see-thru skirts. They are actually prints on the skirts to make it look as if the panties are visible and these are the current rage in Japan .. They'll be the rage here in the USA soon.

I just wish they would had more sexy underwear these all look like laundy day panties!!! They may also want to make some black butts as well...i am saying though!

Happy Birthday Bambo!

2007-03-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

I cried last night like I haven’t in a hot minute and it wasn’t angry tears, I was deeply saddened by my conversation with sister. It’s not something I care to share which is really rare for me because sharing heals me but I need to wrap my head around it and hopefully when it becomes history then I can look back and laugh.
Life is so damn frustrating, one minute you are on cloud nine and no one can dampen your spirit and the next, it seem like the world is still and God has turned his face from you. I wont give up though, it’s not an option, instead I will take the lemon life has dealt and make the best damn lemonade ever.
For fear of sounding ungrateful, I thank God for everything; it has been my experience that every bad thing that has ever happened to me or my family has circuitously been a good thing so, I will see the bigger picture and take heed that God is trying to get our attention.
Life is so short and we take so much for granted, but I just want my sisters and brother and especially my mum to know that I really love them. Together we will get through this. Our past is history, our future is a mystery, and the present is full of possibilities!

On a lighter note, nothing major has been going on in Raleighood, same shit different toilet.
My hommies all came by my crib Friday night and we held a vigil, only we skipped the praying part and watched British comedy instead. I made dinner and we lounged till about 4am! Saturday morning we had breakfast at Bob Evans and later went to church to clean the building. I really wanted to go catch a movie but instead we just chilled at D1’s house and slept all day long! I got home at about 6pm and cleaned my room, it was an absolute mess! I caught up with all me recorded shows and braided Princess O’s hair.

Happy birthday Bambo! We were at bambizzy’s crib this weekend celebrating his birthday with him. His mom cooked and his dad makes the meanest BBQ on the planet! The food was well worth the 1 hour drive to get to their crib. I scooped D1 and LP and we headed out to their crib. By the time we got there, they had started a Monopoly game…..bummer because Lord knows I love me some monopoly! The other game that I love dearly is Taboo but mehn, you can’t play that game with Raleigh folks mehn! Rowdy Mofos… the lot of them…hehehehe

Bambo's birthday

Ok so we were chilling and we had the two hottest babies in Raleigh in the building Ridi and Jobs, they are about 3 months apart and both cute as a button! We sat them next to each other and took pictures. Aww too cute, I am thinking of stealing them and moving to a remote Island where we can’t be found.

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

2007-03-21T13:54:00.000-07:00

So summer is here, well maybe not fully and today is the first day of spring but the weather is nice and warm and it's time for us to put our best foot forward! Ok, I am guilty of corny toes and chapped heels! I am not the babe to sit in the nail salon for hours to get a pedicure. I am trying sha, in fact the last pedicure I got was in November and it was mandated by our attire for Remi’s wedding that your toes be on point!
It’s soooo bad my dawg D1 got me a gift card to a spa for my birthday…that shit is still in my wallet …unused!

Since then, I have applied the same nail polish over the chipped one and have not bothered with scrapping the dead skin off my heel. Corns have taken permanent residence on three of my toes but I blame that on the 4 inch heels I wear on a daily basis. See, I am that girl who will buy a pair of hot kicks even if it’s a size too small and will keep my shoe on while driving and while in public, in fact it’s a pet peeve of mine to see folks trade their beautiful kicks for some flip flops…maybe you shouldn’t have worn them suckers in the first place, I think its tacky (waiting for my peeps to come bite my head off).

So to me and all my sisters with jacked up feet, I beg do not leef your hoof hanging this summer, go to the salon and get your shit done, keep it polished and moisturized!

And if your shoes don’t fit….don‘t wear it!

So please, repeat after me

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.

I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 or 20 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Arrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-14T12:21:00.000-07:00

I swear I am going to spray paint the whole of my complex with profanity, which should make me feel better about dishing out $350 for towing my damn car! So last night, Dupe invited Princess O and I for dinner, she made some pasta and I really did not feel like cooking so why not…..right? Well I ended up staying at her crib till 1 am. There was no parking at all by the time we got home, as in nada, zilch, zero and Princess O was knocked out, the only empty spot was a handicapped space right in front of my building. I figured the Mofo would see that there was no other available space and let me be.
How about my happy ass got up to go to work this morning to find that my hooptie had been towed! I was soooo pissed I marched to the rental office in my heels and had a couple words with them, when that didn’t help, I called the towing company. You smoke La La abi? what happend to hundy for towing? Well I get the standard hundy and $250 for parking in the handicapped spot...is that even legal? Mind you there are no handicapped folks in my building o! the spot is always empty...I think these MOFOS are out to get me! Oloshi ni gbogo Preiss company! The asswipes told me that I needed to pay $350 to get my car back…abi Oloshi ni yin ni? I freaking live here! Where is the law that says I am entitled to a parking space and I should not have to hike 4 blocks in the middle of the night to get one? Perhaps if their greedy asses were not so damn overpopulated, rent paying folks like me would have a spot to park! After screaming and yelling for about 10 minutes, I started to cry, you know the kind of crying that comes with being angry as hell. Arrrggghhhh I am too hot right now!
Okay so LP and DB picked me up and drove me to work, I will deal with the car mess later, it was already freaking 12 noon and my day had not started.
As if my day was not already banged, some idiot Mofo at work was asking me dumb questions about some invoice, do I look like the freaking Account Receivable Clerk? So what if my AMEX invoices had not been paid in 6 months? Did I buy baffs with it? I beg leef me o! eh hen!!!! Needless to say I am having a crappy day!
I am going home and cooking me some efo elegusi and eating amala for dinner! I certainly hope yall are having a much better day than I am!

Weekend

2007-03-12T13:09:00.000-07:00

Mehn….I am exhausted from this weekend boi! I mean damn! We had an absolute blast! Raras everywhere. Princess O was with Remi all day because she wasn’t feeling so hot and I had taken Thursday off to be with her. I took her to the mall then to cheesecake factory and ordered all sorts but she just wouldn’t eat, instead she spent hours in the toilet. Remi called me to yell at me because I was giving Princess O adult drugs…I figured they worked better…abi? It was also Funmi’s birthday dinner so we did Winston’s, the food was great and the company even better. I got there late as usual but just in time for the grubs. After dinner Dupe and I met up with some of our Oyinbo friends and then later with Funmi and her birthday crew at some joint, where we stood in line for like 30 minutes! Omo I can’t remember the last time I did that shit! I was more than pissed! For why now? After a few strings were pulled we hopped the line and finally made it in. It was aii…they played go go music and got me all worked up.

Funmi's birthday_1

I slept in most of Saturday, I had lots of errands to run before going to the Awani’s, it was such a nice day, I could not stay indoors. By the time I got home, I was tired as hell but I had to get ready for the naming ceremony. It was so much fun, we hung out till about 11pm. I have lots of pictures but notice how there is just a couple pictures of the celebrants? Well that was not my fault; my camera is still out of commission so D1 took all the pictures.

Alero's Naming Ceremony

On Sunday after church we had a singles meeting but I was so tired I skipped the meeting and chilled at Dupe’s house, I was craving Jamaican food so I ordered some curry chicken and had it delivered. After inhaling the curry chicken, I slept off. LP came by later to remind me we were supposed to have Dinner with the Olopade’s. We all hopped in the car and headed to their crib. We hung out with them till about 11pm and headed home, Oyinade spent the night. I am super exhausted…the pictures speaks for themselves.

High Fashion Ghana Must Go!

2007-03-09T14:39:00.000-08:00

Oh hell to the no! As in are you freaking kidding me? Buhahahahaha. I swear this is just ridiculous! Let me see one of una carry ghana must go now that Gucci, Prada and LV are attaching their name...you will so not hear the end of it! Imagine that! Omo tell your folks back home to send you a container of Ghana must go so we can get first dibs on Canal Street! Buhahahahaha! You know it will take chinatown a hot minute to come up with the knockoff! This is too ill....Designer ghana must go! I heard Oprah put in an order for 8000 bags ....christmas gifts for her audience this year! buhahahah Wonders shall never end!

....and it all ends!

2007-03-07T14:57:00.000-08:00

Last night was the finale of Wicked Wicked Games and Watch Over Me! I am sooooo sad! Please tell me what I will do now from 8-10 PM! Just when I was getting into the show...it ends!
Blythe...Imma miss your crazy ass now lani gets to tourture you...aint karma just a damn bitch!LOL Jack....please help me understand how you made it out of the building alive!

So long farewell it was a great 16 weeks!

Happy Birthday Wande...30 is the new 20!!!

2007-03-05T09:08:00.000-08:00

So on Friday, I rented a car and headed to MD, I mean why not, I could use a break from all this damn stress! I did not get in till 1 am…not bad, considering I left Raleigh at 8:30pm! That was so not my fault, I was expecting a packet and somehow UPS forgot to put it on the truck…were ni gbo gbo wan! After sitting there for 2 hours the MOFOs informed me that I would not be able to get the packet until Monday! If somebory had told me that like 2 hours ago…I would not have to curse everyone out in my egba dialect! Wotcanfa? Irritated beyond measure, I hopped in the car and drove furiously home. Princess O will be staying with Ashandy this weekend, I quickly packed her stuff and Ade was there to pick her up.

So I am steady driving on 95 minding my business and lo and behold VA popo pulled me over! I was on the phone with E and I told him I’d call him back! The dude told me the speed limit was 55 and I was doing 75 so that is reckless driving and it attracts $2500 and 6 points! I started laughing…na joke abi? $25 sekini?
“Ok officer, I wont lie, I may have been speeding a bit but I don’t have $2500, you see, I am on my way to MD, for a friends parry and rent is due when I get back on Monday plus I need to get a tune up and change my tires, I still have a stack of dirty clothes to take to the cleaners and I have only mayonnaise in my refrigerator, so that means I need to go grocery shopping, I owe my mum $1078 and my sister is celebrating her 35 birthday soon so I need to buy aso ebi, plus airfare for me and Omolayo! Then about 70 % of my friends are still single but 3 of them are engaged, which means I will be a bridesmaid, and you know how expensive that gets. Then there is Funmi’s birthday dinner next week! I’d like to get her a gift! So officer, chances are if you write me up for $2500, I won’t be able to pay it till I get my tax refund in 2008 and even then it’s iffy” I am not sure which part of my story touched him but he reduced the ticket to $135 and if I pay before my court date, I get no points! Phew!! Did I mention I hate the popo?

Saturday morning I met up with LA at Bob Evans for breakfast, she wasn’t feeling too hot but I kept her entertained! We hung out at the mall later and then we both took a nap until 6pm! Moji was furious! Dinner was at 7 and you know how long it takes LA and I to get ready! We finally got to Clyde's at about 8:30 and we had missed our reservation.

Everyone was looking fabulous and it was soo good to see all my MD peeps!
Bukky had this cork screw do that only Bukky could pull off…very chic! Nneka and that damn Indian hair of hers, I swear she could do an ad for Garnier Fructis! LA suits the hell out of Wande! All buff and tanned and in designer duds! Funmi as vibrant as ever with that infectious laugh! LA, trendsetter extraordinaire looking fly all day long! My ace MO is the glue that puts us all together….totally chic and an absolute joy to be around! And cutie pie Remi herself…still the cutest doctor I’ve ever seen! MD peeps have a way of making me feel fat! Every time I get back I go on a two day diet and then I forget all about it!

From Wande's Bday ...

All that bonding was nice, dinner was not so hot, when they served my rockfish, I was wondering where the rest of it was! I ate Mo’s dinner because she wasn’t that hungry! I ordered a glass of chardonnay and embarrassed the hell out of myself when I raised hell that the glass was half full!!! Funmi and Moji simultaneously educated me that wine is never served full…why the hell not? Rubbish and nonsense! Dessert made up for it though, my apple crumble was absolutely divine!
I was going to do the whole Jesus house thing on Sunday but Omo…I was tired and my feet were hurting so I just bumped the whole idea, I met up with LA at Queens way for lunch before heading out! I met a girl LA knew who introduced herself and said “I read your blog” I blushed a little…I ate my pounded yam till it became difficult to breathe…I am so damn greedy!

My drive home was cool, no tickets just freaking trailers ever 5 minutes…So I was explaining to my oyinbo friend that there were trailers all over the damn road and it scares the crap out of me and she was confused…apparently trailers are mobile homes….I am so Nigerian, its painful! She said “you mean trucks like 18 wheeler?”
Yes…. trucks, trailer warefa!!!

Stay tuned for pictures…I didn’t take any; my camera is on strike…MO will send them to me tonight…wont you MO?

TGIF!!!!

2007-03-02T11:43:00.000-08:00

Omo I soooo can't believe its March already! Da hell? Its Friday! Lord I thought this week would never end!!! How is your Friday? I have been working hard today boi...trying to catch up on my slacking all week!

Been feeling sort of poetic ever since LP challenged me to a spoken word duel...omo its soooo on! there is nothing I love more than a little competition!!!
I finished this peom Ive been working on for a hot minute now...tell me what yall think, I kinda rushed it so it may not be there yet.

Dear Lord

Dear Lord if I give all my love away can I have a refill?
Over and over so I never run out?
If I was a tree could I be the tallest one?
Would I withstand the hurricane? Will the tornado retain my leaves?
If I was a star could I be the brightest one?
If I was the sea would I be a friendly one? Would my tides be kind? And my waves make way for boats and ships? Will the creatures within me sustain life?
Will my love be more than just a fantasy?
And my dreams more like reality? manifesting in your perfect ways? With perfect grace?

Dear Lord if I lend someone my heart can I get a new one?
One thats even bigger than the first?
If I could be a time can I be the 6am? That was the time my love was born, the time my child was born the time I was born?
If I can be a day can I be Sunday, your day of rest, the day you rose again?
Will all my hopes be attainable?
Will you keep me safe from harm?
If I could have my way could it be your way... In truth and with gladness in my heart?
If I could sing a song would it be a new song? Would it be a song of joy and of hope? Would it heal sick and cure the lame?

Dear Lord if I put all my trust in you will it be enough?
Will you have my back when the going gets tough?
If I speak unkind words will you please forgive me?
If I make a mistake can you please erase them? Allow me a do over until I get it right?
And even then would you allow one more chance?
Will you teach me to be a better mum?
A better child?
A better person?
If I don’t say thank you would you still know I was grateful?
If I ever have doubt will you strengthen my faith? If it were smaller than a mustard seed would it suffice?

Dear Lord if I give all my love away can I have a refill?

A big shout out to one of my best friends from back in the day, Simmy Osude, we sort of grown apart in our adult years but I still love you! happy birthday Miha!!! February 28th
A big shout of to Seun AKA Iyawo Pastor AKA Mama Twins! Thanks again Miha...I am stoked about my gift card...muah!

Yall have a fabulous weekend and remember God loves you and so does QB!

RECAP.....

2007-02-28T11:47:00.000-08:00

Hey bloggville it’s been a hot minute huh…well I have been busy and out of it for a few weeks now, besides nothing major has happened…..let me fill you in.

A big Shout out to my girl Dayo…she dropped 8lbs 10 ounces on Thursday, yup baby Awani is in the building!!!! I can’t wait for the day Joba and Isreal will start quaving Ridi and Alero!!! Buhahahaha…Congratulations once again!!! May this be the first of many to come…Amen!

Well I was in MD aka London the weekend before last, my girl Elisa’s mum turned 50, I dragged LP, Omolayo and Oyinade with me…it was cool, we stayed at Elisa's. Oyinade had some party to go to so we dropped her off, how about some heifer had her dress on! Buhahahahaha don’t you just hate it when that happens? LOL!!! LP, Elisa and I had brunch at Bob Evans…I am so addicted to that place, I think it’s the home fries! We then spent the rest of the afternoon at the party hall getting ready for the Owambe. The party was nice, everyone looked fabulous especially this one lady from ATL…good gawd! I know that woman is at least 60 but mehn she looked hell of good, she wore that hottest pair of Betsy Johnson kicks, (I know because I have been eyeing that particular pair on Zappos for a hot minute now) she did not even bother with the shoe and bag mess, although I stand corrected…Elisa’s mum and her posse were rocking a different breed of shoe and bag…Lord have mercy! So how about they got my girl to buy a pair! I was laughing at her until I saw them suckers…I’ll have to say they were aiit!
I had fun though…she kept trying to drag me to the dance floor…..no boo QB don’t dance!

On Sunday, we drove down to Queensway…I had food on my mind, Princess O’s dad came to meet us there, it was sooo weird!!!!! It started snowing as we headed out of town, LP drove because I was feeling sick and no…I wasn’t pretending. I slept most of the way to Raleigh, I was a bit nervous that LP was driving, not that I am a better driver but there is just something about control…yes I am a control freak!

I decided to braid my hair this weekend and invited Remi to come with me because she wanted her do did tooo. I should have known that was a bad idea! We roamed the street and they did not actually start my hair till 7pm! Remi started and hour earlier it was pointless because they sat us at opposite sides of the gallery so we could not gist, Remi called me on her cell but I resorted to yelling out…I swear it was like reliving Tejuosho market! Damn the good ol’ days! I finally made it out at about 1am!! I was telling E about it last night and I tried to explain that I used yarn to twist my hair instead of hair I was rolling at his response “Yarn? Like crochet? Why baby is it cheaper?” CAN YOU IMAGINE!

Most of my week was blah…I did my Monday night wing thingy with the usual suspects….Dayo, Dupe, LP and Stacy a few other folks join our mix. I guess we can’t get enough of the 25 cents wings!!! I quit drinking so it was iced tea baby!!
I finally filed for my taxes; please hola at your girl if you know any stray children that need to be claimed we'll split the Mola 80/20….. you get the later…that’s how we do!

So as part of my electives, I had lunch with Princess O today, I am majoring in being a better parent! It was cool until all the rugrats wanted hugs! Da hell, somebody give these gremlins the memo! Kids are soooo weird! Princess O was beside herself, she wanted me to say hello to every single kid in her class and I swear my face hurts from the smile I feigned for an entire hour!

Why haven’t they announced the winners of the gele competition? I mean the hell? I am sitting here waiting patiently fighting the urge to call them up to have a word or two! The funny thing is that I soooo do not know what the prizes are; I started a rumor that it was $1500 then I realized none of the folks I was telling could give a less Damn!
My devious self….I swear I am tew mush! I entered Remi, Gbemi, Titi Dupe, Aunty Foluke and Denrele in the competition! Then I called them all to tell them about it! Buhahahahaaha…well except Aunty Foluke, her ass is gangster so Imma act like I don’t know who did! Buhahaha Ok maybe I do have a bit too much time on my hands!

It turns out my Ace LA also watches WWG and WOM!!! I finally have someone to relate to as per my addiction. Before I forget…. Does anyone have a remedy for black head that does not involve me coughing out $100 at some spa? Something like Epo pupa and milk? I beg ring my bell! I told Remi’s dummas not to touch my black head but she tortured it and now I have a scab on my forehead!

It just occurred to me that I haven’t done any work since I got here so…. I’m finna go! (inside joke, only a Ralite would understand!.....LOLOLOLOL)

I am in Quarantine!!!

2007-02-20T16:00:00.000-08:00

If I could destroy one website it would have to be Face Book! I mean the hell? It is 6:30pm and my ass is sitting in the office handling all my WWW business before I go home, ask me why? Ask me now? Well I will tell you anyway! My 2nd born and my 3rd born, and Dami boy…particularly my 3rd born and Dami boy are face book obsessed! I strongly believe they are responsible for the virus that has taken permanent residence on my hard drive! I don’t know didly about computers…at least not all that techy nonsense and I visit about 17 sites in total; Hotmail, Yahoo, Blogspot, G-mail, Nordstrom, Ebay, Paypal, Suntrust, Smart Bargains, Linked IN, , Mapquest, Google, dictionary.com, bible.com, poetry.com, art.com and Hi-5!
Somehow my computer is infected with a virus and apparently I am infecting the network so they shut me down! Do you know what that means? I cannot use the computer at home! What the hell am I supposed to do with my down time now? My Internet service is included in my rent so I can’t even demand a refund! So I was on the phone with the help desk again last night and he asked me if I had face book…. “Huh? No…well yeah….not really” ….he paused for a moment…then he said “You may have gotten the virus from there, a lot of the students in your complex that have the same virus use face book”
I am going to kill them kids! One by one and have them for dinner like my man Michael Crigger did on watch over me!
Okay so now I am in quarantine and since my home phone is connected to my High Speed Internet…..I am royally fucked!
I am supposed to scan my Compurra, then buy all this anti-virus crap, install them and then call back! Until then SOL!!
This is soooo not fair, Internet is right up the list of priorities right next to air and water!

99 rather random things about me

2007-02-19T16:25:00.000-08:00

My father named me 3 names that all mean the same thing.... Omobolanle Modebolanle Olawanlewa

Green is my new favorite color

I have way too many friends, I am cutting back

I eat not because I am hungry but because I am bored

My eyebrows are permanent

I sleep with my mouth opened…or so I’ve been told

I am not very friendly

I hate butta people

I am the black sheep of my family

I watch “Wicked Wicked games” and “watch over me” religiously

I don’t pay my tithes faithfully

I have not done my laundry in almost 8 months

I talk in my sleep

I am in love with a guy I’ve never met

I hate it when people touch me

I don’t know how to respond to “I love you”

I love country music

I am afraid of bugs

I hate dogs and cats

I eat dusting powder

I chew on ice and it doesn’t bother me

I really hate it when people snore

I hate people using my towel

I fall in love quickly and hard and hate even harder

I have a lot of blackheads

I never buy matching underwear

I am the most random MOFO I know

I hate secretive people…chances are no one cares!!!

I love the smell after it rains

I love Iced Tea

I hate junk food

I sleep way too much

I have the attention span of a fly

I never check my voice mail

I never carry cash

I shop at thrift stores and yard sales

I love to write and paint

I cant dance

I have a huge keloid scar on my stomach

I never buy real gold jewelry

I hate being alone

I cant eat sushi or any other uncooked food

I can braid my own hair

I cant function before 8am in the morning

I am a bit too outspoken

I think out loud a lot

I have a hard time hiding my feelings

I have a really bad temper

I don’t forgive

I am not easily impressed

I am uncomfortable around talkative people

I stare at people

I pick out sleep from my eyes and line them up on a mirror

I never exercise

I smoke cigarette

I have a low tolerance of Alcohol and BS

I used to have my nose and belly button pierced

I eat fruit from the grocery store without paying for them

I talk way too much shit

I am overly sensitive

I am a really bad driver

I am the life of any party

I don’t like kids ….with a handful of exceptions

I am not very affectionate

I have a major crush on Common

I really don’t think Britney Spears is hot

I find DJIMON HOUNSOU sexy

I am a great cook

I love broccoli

I am afraid of flying

I cant decide who I love most; India Ari, John Mayer, Ne-yo, MJB or Lauryn Hill

I am a hopeless romantic

I prefer injections to drugs

I am confident and borderline arrogant

I really love God and his favors towards me are overwhelming at times

I like to be different

I am really shy

I am not afraid of dying as long as its not HIV or plane crash...I’m good.

My favorite movie is the color purple

I read Nancy Drew mysteries and Sweet Valley Twins growing up

I am very impulsive

I hate pretentious people

I am always late

I believe in love at first sight

My car is filthy

I don’t ride rollercoasters

I cant swim

I don’t sleep before Midnight

I really want to live in Nigeria

I hate broken english

I have never dated a white guy

shopping make me feel better about everything

I hate it when people use my sponge

I frown a lot ....unconsciously

I love taking pictures

I hate it when folks lie about public information

I don’t fight fair

I cant spell words that have ‘EI” receive, deceive, achieve ETC I always put the ‘I’ before ’E’ I always rely on spell check
I love Marc Jacobs

It took me a whole day to compile this list! So now I tag desola, because I suspect she will have some very interesting random facts on her list.

Gele Skentele!!!

2007-02-15T15:53:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of Segun Gele and Remi’s wedding, my gale was too bunz on November 18th. It was so out there, this lady asked me who tied it and insisted I took her to get hers done.

I am not much of a gele person, in fact I refuse to wear native unless everyone is wearing it. I remember my mum used to try to get me to buy all these materials for what I considered to be absolutely ridiculous prices! But I am getting older and I am embracing my culture more and these days, I can tell you the names of the materials sef! Thanks to my mum and big sis, I have a bunch of lace and gele, its funny though, they don’t get much wear but if the occasion comes up…I have my Naija baffs handy! I don’t know about the shoe and bag mess though…GOOD GAWD! Some of those made in Italy crap Naija women wear looks like it was put together by carpenter instead of shoemaker…I mean the hell? Lanzolini and Best or some crap like that! No sirree, I will leave the grown and sexy to do the shoe and bag…I will just stick to mean ass Geles for now! (Mr Sege…I got you on speed dial boo) I don’t think I am current on what’s hot and what’s not in regards to lace…at least not yet, I just love brown and other dark colors.

A few months ago, the editor of Chatafrikarticle told me about his idea for a gele competition and I had just the gele in mind to enter…I must to win o…or else! LOL
I quickly cropped my Aces out of the picture (sorry MO and LA) and submitted my entry; please tell me why my gele is getting mad hits! I hope they wont ask us to tie it again live or sumtin…that would not be too bunz!

One of my girls called me up to tell me how Razz the competition was and she couldn't believe I was in it….get over it boo, You call it Razz, I call it keeping it real. Which year you enter yankee sef? Oyinbo pepe! Shio!!

Check out the ENTRIES and show your girl QB some love!!! I swear there will be hell if I don’t win…yes I am very competitive…can’t you tell?

My funny Valentine!!!!!

2007-02-14T08:14:00.000-08:00

So I woke up this morning to a knock at the door, early mo mo kind of shit, it was a special delivery, this tall, dark, handsome man in a tux with a bouquet of 2 dozen yellow roses and a single red one! “Miss Odegbami?” he asked. euphoric, I grabbed the bunch and yelled Thank you!!! He held the door open and announced that my ride was waiting! Hen? Say kini, I looked outside to see a white stretch limo waiting for me. “My ride to where exactly?” I could see the delivery man was enjoying this because my razz ass could not hide my excitement “Please read the note Miss Odegbami, it explains everything”

Omobolanle love,
Happy Valentine’s Day! I wish us many more to come…Amen!
I hope you like your flowers, the 23 yellow roses are for our friendship…you are my best friend and the single red rose…is for love…I love you today and always!
The guy standing before you is Mark, he will be at your beck and call
today, I know it takes you a bit to get ready…take your time, when you are set, he will take you to work. At noon, he will bring you to Lex, I know you love Cajun food, I will meet you there and we’ll have lunch. Mark will take you back to your office and wait for your day to end. In the limo you will find a package, change into that dress for me darling. Mark will take you to Salon Sesua, they will take care of your hair and make-up. At about 7pm, Mark will bring you to the airport, a private plane will be waiting, we have dinner reservations at Justin’s, don’t worry about an overnight bag. Just bring your beautiful self. We will be spending the night at W, I reserved the pent house.
My mum will pick up Princess O from school and will watch her for the evening.
In the morning we’ll have breakfast in bed and I will have you back at work before 10am.
Can’t wait to see you.
Love Always,
ME

Oh damn! Omobolanle pick your mouth off the floor! And I only got him a card! I started to call him but somehow that was not on the instructions, I am definitely being punked…. I just know it!!!!! I picked up my phone to call MO and tell her about this shit riii hurr but she didn’t pick up…and then…..I WOKE UP!!!!

Happy Birthday Mummy!!!

2007-02-12T21:51:00.000-08:00

Today is my mums birthday and we have sort of been beefing for a minute its normal right? I am sort of the brat of my family and stubborn as hell...(its my dad's fault) So I called her this morning on my way out!

QB: Hey mummy...Happy Birthday
Mum: thank you
QB: So what are you up to...what are your plans for the day
Mum: on my way to work in an hour or so
QB: Work? On your birthday
Mum: You have a better idea?
QB: (uncomfortable silence)...so did you get the packet I sent?
Mum: what package?
QB: Your birthday present I sent it on Friday through Fed-ex 2 day delivery
Mum: hmmm...no
QB: I will track it then...so se e wa pa?
Mum: Peachy
QB: That's great, well I hope you have a nice day...I will call you later
Mum: OK...thanks

That conversation was like pulling teeth! Phew OK maybe its time I stop acting like a brat!

Mojisola Darling....my one and only Iya Onigba! Iyawo Olujimi....I love you loads and I am sorry for my outbursts last week. Please be reminded today that I love you infinity and I would not trade you for anything in the world! I haven't been feeling poetic lately but I will re post the poem I wrote for you in 2005 and I hope it leaves you with warm fuzzy feelings!

Dear ma,

Have I told you lately that I love you?
Well I should have
Do you realize how much you mean to me?
I’ll tell you
Does it seem like all your suffering was in vain?
It wasn't
Do I sometimes make you feel like I don’t appreciate you?
Because I do
No matter what you do, how you act, what you say and who you are
I will always be glad that you are my mother. I love you unconditionally and I am grateful to the almighty that he chose you as the vessel to give me life.
We may not always see eye to eye but understand that I will forever be in your debt for the sacrifices you made for me.
I would not trade you for anything in the world and I would not change a damn thing about you.
Forgive me if I seem ungrateful at times, because I am not. I am grateful I have you in my life and I am proud that you are my mum.
If ever again you are in doubt of my love for you, read my words, keeping in mind that they are sincere and find comfort in them.
This New Year, I will work on our relationship, I will do my part and whenever I fall short, be sure to do yours!

Pray for me mama as only a mother can..I definitely need it, especially now. Loads of kisses!!!!

Babiluwe's Ra Ra

2007-02-08T09:34:00.000-08:00

Last weekend was Babs birthday and we all went out to show him some love! We did dinner at Hi5 and then we went to Ess lounge to lay back! It was a fabulous evening to say the least! I totally missed dinner because I was out of town with my babies but I came just in time to finish everyone's leftover. Omobolanle...you tooo love food!!!

Babs birthday

Happy Birthday again Babs from your newly acquired Raleigh family, I know we are a bit much but I give you a few months and you'll get used to it!!!

QB is soo Razz!!!

2007-02-07T10:52:00.000-08:00

My razzness is boundless; I am on another level for shizzle. Last night I made Ila asepo, with beef hearts, turkey and beef, it was yummy! I ate it with some Amala and I was smiling all the way to bed! So this morning I decided to pack myself some lunch…bump the Chinese joint and the deli, imma eat some eba yo! So I put some gari in a ziplock bag and packed my stew carefully in Tupperware and off I went.

A little after noon I saw folks staring at the menus, not I…not today, today I Omobolanle Modebolanle Olawanlewa will be having Eba and Ila! I heated my water in the microwave and made my eba, everyone in the lunch room must have thought I don lost my damn mind! I carried my meal jejely to my office and got my grub on! Shuu…as a matter of fact, I am doing this all week! Angie from payroll took a picture!

I haven’t been up to date with my office dare…omo SOX audit is coming up and all my damn files are a mess! So blogging has had to take a back seat as well as my dares, but I did manage to do ‘8) Walk sideways to the photocopier…. And …10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wannatrade?”' She asked me if I was serious and I kept a straight face and repeated myself…she looked really confused at my request…..I got quite a laff out of that one! Buhahaha…I garishoes!!!

So I am sure you’ve heard before that I have the smartest kid on the planet! Not bragging but really I do. I sometimes I forget she is a kid and give her all these responsibilities. Remi and I fight constantly about some of them and Sade has threatened to call child services… hey I never said I was a great parent…I am a work in progress no doubt. I decided to add more to Molayo’s responsibilities. Ade tried to talk me out of it but last night, I insisted she washed the dishes. Omo the girl is finna turn 7 and I remember when I was 7 I washed dishes…I think! Anyway she has got to learn. Ade told her she did not have to wash the pots and pans and she got to work, I think she was a bit excited that she was doing a chore. About half an hour later Ade and I discovered OMOLAYO FEYINTOLUWA had washed all the dishes with the toilet spongue!!!! Egba mi! Ewww!!! I was so mad I couldn’t even spank her cause by God she is only 6!!! Ade could not stop laughing as she yelled “I told you so!” so I had to rewash everything and dump them in the dishwasher for a good steam clean. The worst part is that she sooo did not understand what the fuss was about, she needed a sponge and found one in the bathroom! Oh damn…aii maybe she can start washing dishes next year!

Happy Birthday Seyi!!!!

2007-01-30T17:32:00.000-08:00

FROM THE WHOLE RALEIGH CREW
We love you Seyi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today's dare!

2007-01-30T09:23:00.000-08:00

Buhahahahahahahaha, I am falling on the floor laughing my ass off! Buhahahahaha!!!! Okay so I did the next office dare a few seconds ago....this is sooooo much fun! I know everyone in my office and they know me too, so its hard to find someone I dont know but there is this one chick that I dont particularly care for, as in she is fresh out of college and dresses like she is pole dancing! She is a cross between hoochie mama and whit trash. Then like early last year, she caught herself trying to give me orders...I set her straight with a quickness QB dont play that and we have not spoken since!

How about I called the heifer and said "Hi", she responded with a surprised "Hi", then I went on to say "I just wanted to let you know I cant talk right now" I nearly peed my pants from the arkward silenced that followed, she the said "ok" like she was expecting more, I said "bye" and hung up!

Omo this shit is giving me a head rush...ok back to work, I just wanted to fill you in on my dares. Buhahahahahahahaha

Q&A

2007-01-29T12:28:00.000-08:00

1. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?cheetah stockings, cream satin shirt, black and brown skirt, black pumps, black sweater

2. WHAT KINDA UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING? black lace thong

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My space heater

4. CAN YOU JUGGLE? no...no eye and hand coordination

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Jrice/friedrice and meat

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Brown

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Cold as hell

8.LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? dami

9.FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? His shoes

10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? I love her gan ni

11. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? hell yeah!

12. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? tired

13. FAVOURITE DRINK? Iced tea

14. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? tequila...top shelf

15. FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAL? Eba and efo

16. FAVOURITE SPORTS?Blogging...it should be a sport

17. HAIR COLOUR? black this month

18. EYE COLOUR? Dark Brown

20. TATTOOS OR PIERCING? 8 piercings in total, 2 tatoos

21. STAR SIGN? Virgo

22. FAVOURITE MONTH? February...tax return

24. FAVOURITE FOOD? Eba and efo

25. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Nicholas Cage and some lost little girl..some weird movie

27. FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR? December 31...you get to start all over

28. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Yes..is that weird?

29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS BETTER? Happy endings

30. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer

31. HUGS OR KISSES? kisses

32. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? One night werrin?

33. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Vanilla

34. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? who gives a shit!

35. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Dunno...really

36. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Remi

37. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW? who moved my cheese

38. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? dont have one

39. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? monopoly...I kick major ass

40. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Worke on my I-9

41. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Shit....I got to go to work again!

42. WHICH DO YOU BELIEVE, EVOLUTION OR CREATION? Creation

This was fun, now I tag....Desola, Calabar girl, Ore and ICY

Dayo Awani Baby Shower

2007-01-29T12:16:00.000-08:00

This weekend was tooo bunz! Nevermind the fact that I am tired as hell! I had a blast!
Let me tell you something about Raleigh folks…they know how to have fun. If you are looking for a place that feels like home, where folks will always have your back…its Raleigh. We have our moments no doubt, plenty of drama, loads of issues but then again who doesn’t? When its all said and done…this is home sweet home. I love my fellow Ralites!!!!

For Dayo’s Shower, everyone pulled together to make it happen, it was amazing to watch! I made a list of the things we needed and EVERYONE came through! Ok so maybe we need to work on our punctuality, I mean Da hell? We called the shower 4pm and did not start till 8pm…now that’s bad! We had fun though….
It was a co-ed shower so I made sure there were games that would engage the men! ***Side track*** Men are so damn competitive! You would think they were winning money or running for Presidency! *** End side track*** Dayo arrived at about 8pm, husband in tow, there were lots of food and drinks for everyone. My only complaint is maintaining order in the building…I mean Good Gawd! No wonder no one wants to be my neighbor, I am either smoking up the joint with my epo gigba , smelling up the joint with Iru, taking up all the damn visitors parking with my guests’ cars or making enough noise with my guest to wake up dead folks! Mehn! Shu…I am glad I am not my neighbor…hehehehe

Dayo's Baby Shower

Dayo and Tuoyo…congratulations once again, I pray for a safe fast delivery, no epi no c-section…amen!! I get first dibs on godmother, I know it’s between Remi and I …and since she got to be Maid of Honor….ahem….I am up for godmother!! It only makes sense because Eleba is the godfather…hehehehe!

My babies LP and Dammy stayed behind to help me clean up. I was sooo tired! I remember talking to Lolade and Dammy, gisting about all sorts of crap, I don’t even remember when they left sef, I fell straight out! I woke up at about 7am to find that I was on the couch, all my clothes from the night before still on! Ade came in to remind me that we are cooking for Big Seg this morning…how can I forget? A few minutes later Big Seg came by to scoop me and I joined Ade to cook the rest of the food. Remi and Dupe had done most of the work the night before. Needless to say I am not going to church today!

I got home at about Noon and slept the rest of the day…OMO, my name is Bola and I am one tired MOFO!!!

I started my office dare today….1) Run one lap around the office at top speed. I sooo wanted to take a picture, but my camera is not charged! It was weird, I got some worried looks and a few questions, mainly asking if I was alright… “like yeah… Why do you ask?”

Friday maddness!!!

2007-01-26T22:17:00.000-08:00

OK .....so starting next week, I am going to try out one of these dares per day...I will keep you posted on how it goes. The uptight MOFOs I work with could use some Bola in their lives. I have highlighted my favorites. I dare you to join me! YES its official...I am CERTIFIABLY MAD!!!!
Funny enough I have actually done a couple of these thngs before...#2 and # 3 an I wasnt even playing.... so I'll skip those....buhahaha!

Office Dares:

ONE POINT DARE
1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other
non-player must be in the toilet at the time).

3) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

4) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,
"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
and grimace.

6) Someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,
"Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".

7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it
out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

9) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.

THREE POINTS DARES
1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
double-barreled fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did
you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from
the nozzle(there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES
1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would
be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem
(extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they
watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10
times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to
go do a number two".

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in,
"The report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God
is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna
trade?".

11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
"Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk
about it".

13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's
won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during
a very important conference call.

15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of
your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit;
smash each biscuit with your fist.

18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair
towards the door.

19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,
move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

And if that wasn't enough for you... How to keep a healthy level of
insanity:

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are
going to have to let one of you go."

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.

4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6) In the subject field for all your e-mails, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS".

7) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

8) Don't use any punctuation

9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12) Sing along at the opera.

13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of
jungle sounds all day.

15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!
3rd time this week!!!"

18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Valentine is coming!!!!!

2007-01-24T14:17:00.001-08:00

Okay…so it’s that time of the year again Valentine! Its coming o, about 3 weeks away! Women love it! Men abhor it! But hey its here so lets deal with it!

My last two valentine were suckful (meaning it sucked a lot!) to say the least. I know last year I had just started a relationship and the dude was one of those anti-valentine, I was upset he wasn’t all romantic and he couldn’t even figure out what he had done, either that or he was playing stupid, somehow I am leaning on the later. So anyway it’s a New Year so don’t get it twisted.
Here are some valentine rules to help you.

Do not even try to pick a fight right before Valentine to excuse your pathetic ass from gift exchange….we are soooo on to you!!!!
Do not buy anything from Victoria Secret, That is sooooo played out so be original
Do not give all the women in your life the same gift! That is just wicked!!! It somehow leaks and it’s a major blow to our ego!
You don’t have to spend a whole lot of money, be creative !
Dinner and a movie does not count as Valentine presents!
If you must send flowers, send them to her job, women looooovvvve the attention!
Do not recycle gifts you received!
Just because you are married now does not mean she doesn’t get a gift!
Do not borrow money from one chick to buy another chick a gift! (Believe me it happens!) thats just tacky!
Perishables are not ideal gifts (We are not in Naija so save the sweet sensations for yo mama!), you want to create a lasting impression.

Speaking of sef….remember in Naija, valentine was the perfect opportunity for that dude that has been eyeing you to make that bold move! LOL!!! Damn we were so corny! You would get a cake and like 10 different cards from the same person o! I never understood the logic behind sending multiple cards?! O and the stuffed animals were all over the damn place; the bigger your stuffed animal the more dude was feeling you! Buhahahaha. I don’t know what the hot pastry joint is now but in my day it was Sweet Sensation and Baker’s World! Damn I miss Naija! Now imagine the kind of slap you would dish a Mofo that got you a box of Krispie Kremes for Valentine…Da hell! Buhahaha

Now let me tell you..... That old ass trick of fronting like you are not even into valentine or that it’s just another day just cause your monkey ass didnt get crap…BULLOCKS!!! That may be true for a few women but for the rest of us….hell yeah we care! You aint fooling nobody!

And for the guys that don’t want a girl to misinterpret a valentine’s gift for a proposal, be sure to read the card carefully and don’t use words like love and be mine…..nba nba nba! Instead make a joke out of it and get humorous cards and ones intended for friends. Same with the gifts, try something that has no intimate implication like a CD, gift card for a pedicure or tickets to Bowling.

A couple years ago I got a candle from this dude for Valentine, it was a very subtle way of saying “I’m just not that into you” and I got it. If you go get some underwear or perfume and you expect her to not read into it….Wrong!!!

Holler at me, I have some unique ideas for gifts and gestures that will melt any heart…guaranteed!

So this Valentine lets have some fun and bring out the romantic side in all of us.
And ladies…don’t get it twisted it’s a time to exchange gifts not just receive so lets use our imagination.

And how is your Thursday?

2007-01-18T13:04:00.000-08:00

Its Thursday and I am on the verge of tears because my head is aching like mad! I woke up with the blasted headache and did not get out of bed till 10:30am! I screamed at Molayo because she kept interrupting by damn sleep! "Mummy there is no school today..its snowing" da hell? I turned on the T.V and Wosssa! there it was...all wake county schools are closed! What the hell is wrong with these people? It barely an inch of stupid snow and they are going bonkers! Same thing a couple years ago, they shut down everything and the roads were blocked for hours, some kids spent the night in their schools because their parents couldn't get to them! It never snow here, once a year on the average. Oh well there goes my morning, and the damn headache where is that coming from?

I got to work at about Noon, only to find that the entire office is milking this snow thing for all its worth! I was the only Mofo in the building, me and this other Mofo that thinks she is in our CEO's will!
Hey...good for me, I will eBay all day long and blog and contact all my friends and I may even Hi5! I will do anything but work!

I called the IRS, apparently I owe them from 2005 because I did not the 4k I made from my side job! They say I owe them 1.8K is that legal? that is almost half! Its so not my fault that the W-2 came all late and I already filed rapid refund! An hour of arguing later...I still have to pay...Oh damn! My headache just got worse! Nothing Ila asepo and Amala won't fix...dinner over my house tonight!

Moji's birthday weekend

2007-01-15T11:06:00.000-08:00

At the last minute I decided to go to MD…why not? All my peeps were going to be out of town and it was Mo’s birthday dinner anyway! Omolayo was really excited about going; Remi was taking her for a birthday party along with four other kids. Anyway I packed all our things on Thursday and tried to find a ticket on hotwire. I finally found one that seemed reasonable and I bought it only to find out that it was for a flight scheduled for 12 noon on Friday. I called my boss to request the day off, I mean I don’t get to work until about 10:30/11 ish so there was no point.

My girl Karen dropped me off at the airport and I had missed my flight! That is just great! For once can I just be on time for something! I mean damn!! I really need to work on my punctuality issues…so help me God. I was able to catch the 2pm flight and got to DC at about 3pm. Come to find out my dumb ass bought a ticket to Dulles!!! Who flies to Dulles? Da hell, I had no idea, I was thinking we landed in National Airport! Oh damn, Moji’s house is about 2 hrs from Dulles and the heifer is at work! I called Ekpen and Uncle Timi neither of them could get to me till 7pm!!! I will be damned if I stay in this airport for that long. LA was getting her hair done and it was official…I was stranded!!!!

After my 4th cigarette, I had an Einstein moment!! I will just rent a car!!! Duh!!! Ok so I grabbed my luggage and got on the shuttle to the car rental, 2 minutes later, I had a car! I drove happily, first to the grocery store to pick up some squash to make dinner, and then to Moji’s house. Ekpen came by for dinner and the 3 of us stayed up till 5am!

Moji and I spent he entire day at the mall, a lady at Nordstrom asked me if I’d like to work there as a personal shopper!!! Hehehe are you fa real! I was so excited, then I told her I live in North kakilaki! How about everybody was having mad sale!!! Omo, I had to respect myself o…shopping is not at the top of my to-do list but I did cop me some sexy aviators and was dying to put them on…..sun or no sun.

LA was at Moji’s house when we got there and we got ready quickly for dinner. Dupe joined us and we headed out. The restaurant was beautiful, very warm and cozy ambiance, I would love to dine here with Kunsh someday, I even got a table picked out…hehehe.

There were 22 guests in total; Moji pre-paid for the appetizers and dessert and we split the rest of the bill Dutch. I wont front I almost had a stroke when I saw the bill, I told the lady it must have been a typo! Da hell? $800 pa for wetin? But then again divived by 22 people …..Phew!!! Aii Bola…inhale, exhale…breathe! I’m good now. But I am saying though, yall could have given me …errhhh $300 and I would have hooked up the best Obe buka yall ever had!!! LOL We went around the table introduced ourselves and said how we met Moji....alot of cute stories.

Moji's bday wknd 07

After dinner we all went to some Kamp Baltimore joint, them heifer had me lead convoy…big mistake! I took the whole bunch (about 8 cars) to the gas station for some cigarettes and then I ran every other red light till we got to the lounge. There was no parking anywhere so I parked at some convenient store and told the owner my car broke down and I was waiting for triple A. Buhahahaha…Dupe gave me props for that was a classic lie.

We partied to some house music and a little hip hop till about 2pm. I was the designated driver back home too…they never learn. We got home and crashed, but not before Moji made us view the pictures on her plasma and eat all out leftovers from dinner.

I missed my flight twice on Sunday and was on standby for the 5pm flight. I cried the whole way back because there was turbulence, the guy next to me was trying to keep me calm and I prayed he would just shut the hell up because he made it worse! Thank God we landed safely, it was a 45 minutes flight but it seemed like 2 days!!

The damn airline lost my luggage and took down my information incase they found it…Incase wo…in fact I pray you don’t find it, I am in dire need of a new laptop anyway! Hehehe. Dee Dee picked me up for the airport and we spent the evening with Gbemi, I cooked J rice and chicken and we watched desperate housewives.

Absolutely fabulous weekend!!!

Kumbaya.....

2007-01-12T08:31:00.000-08:00

Inspired by Desola’s blog, today I decided to write about old love. We have all had our heart broken at one point or another and it’s such a devastating feeling that at the time you are convinced you can never heal….wrong! Oftentimes we let the pain deter us from loving again or become pessimist and ruin any good thing that comes our way.

When I was in Naija, I had the best boyfriend any girl could wish for; he was attentive, patient, kind, handsome and then some, we spent every waking minute together and were the envy of all our friends, life was gravy but short-lived, I moved back to the States and he gave up on us…I knew we could do it, I mean what are the odds of finding a soul mate twice in a lifetime? The communication was one sided and we eventually fell apart. For years he was the standard by which every man was measured, I called him even after I was engaged to my Daughter’s father, he was pleasant but not overly excited to speak with me, I realized I hurt him but he gave up on us.

I did not completely snap out of it until a few years ago, a mutual friend sat quietly and listened as I went on and on about dude and all my “what if” and ‘if only”. She told me to get over it and move on and she was very candid yet very sincere and that was all it took.

Then there was the scandal early last year, that made me want to crawl into a hole and isolate myself forever….honestly I never thought I would get over that! I was scarred beyond repair and I just wanted to rewind time to where it never even happened.
I’ve come to realize all these things make us who we are, we learn from them and it builds our character and no matter how difficult or painful or even angry you get you get over it!! At the time it doesn’t seem like it but you do…time fixes everything! Now…. I just want to hug everybody and sing KUMBAYA!!!!

Fuck what you’ve heard everyone has a story to tell, and if you have never hurt someone and never been hurt then you haven’t lived! Some of us are more vulnerable than others but for the most part we all get our feelings hurt. The point is there is light at the end of that Tunnel, as I told Desola, when you find that ONE that God has meticulously prepared for you it is soooo worth the wait. When Ade said that to me last year “Bola, I know you are hurting right now but when you meet that ONE that God has prepared for just you, you will be glad it took this long and it will be worth the wait” I wanted to bitch slap her, I looked at her like she had lost her damn mind but she was sooooo on point…I see that now.

So the odds may be against you but like I say add up enough odds and you are even.
Sing with me yall….Kumbaya!!!!

Have you been tested?

2007-01-09T13:24:00.000-08:00

Last month Yetti blogged about HIV, the epidemic that seems to have instilled fear in man kind all over the world. As I read her blog, I thought about the last time I was tested for HIV about 2 years ands 8 months ago to be exact. Here we go again…it’s a new year and I was not playing when I said this is my year of great things. I called up my girl Dupsy to go with me and she decided to take the test as well. I don’t know what it is with my Naija folks but we swear up and down that we are immune to the disease or maybe we think ignorance is bliss and what you don’t know can’t kill you! Every time I ask someone if they’ve been tested I just get the “Omo…God forbid” or “for what now?” like I am judging them or something. Since last month I have been making plans to go get tested and for some weird reason, I have been putting it off. Dupe suggested we go to the State facility and get it done free but I won’t lie, I don’t trust those MOFOs besides you wait for your result for about 2 weeks, the fear of not knowing alone can kill you! Omo..not I Omobolanle…I shallant, I will gladly dish out $59 bucks and call it a day.
So anyhow, Dupe and I decided to do the damn thing! Dupe met me at my office and we drove down to the lab and it took like 2minutes and we were out. We decided to treat ourselves to some Japanese cuisine for good behavior…..Now the wait. I called the number to check the results this morning and all is well.
It really got me thinking though….you hear on TV and read the papers everyday about how this shit is all over the damn place and all it takes is for you to slip up one time with some generous MOFO and its over! It is stereotypical of people to attribute HIV with promiscuity but lets stop being ignorant and think for a quick second….there are so many ways to contract the disease we should just pray for God grace.
My girlfriend told me about this one chick that has never been with any other dude and has been married to this guy for about 4 years…they have 2 kids….young girl o, about 29, come to find out the MOFO has been dipping on her and she is now HIV positive., I don’t know her personally but it really made me mad!
Da hell and there are many such stories especially in Naija with the older generation, the men dip on their wives with college students on a regular and they bring all the kurujeje home to their wives! Lord have mercy….Oh and then the one that really bothered me was the pastor’s wife in Lagos who tested positive, apparently she had it before she married the pastor and now katakata don burst!
I pray for all my friends and family that this dreaded disease will not be our portion in Jesus name…Amen. Praying is not enough though; if you absolutely must do the do, please wrap it up!

Hey if you havent been test just go do it! If you want the results ASAP…call 1-888-peace4u or you can log on to www.Requestatest.com its confidential and it cost $59

Happy New Year!!!

2007-01-08T08:31:00.000-08:00

Phew…we made it, its 07 baby!! I don’t know about you but mehn…God is good!!!! Last year was pretty cool; I sent out a few Christmas cards, I even bought gifts for the kids around me. I spent all my money shopping but what else is new? I made peace with all my enemies …dem plenty no be small! I had a good 06, it started out kind a rough but by June omo, I was on cloud nine.
Enough about the past, I am itching to see what 07 holds in store for me.
Since its January, let me send out all my shout outs to the Capricorns in my life!

Kunsh
Deepa
Dayo Awani
Moji
Thelma
Tope Awoye
Oyinade
Seyi
Dayo Adeyanju

Happy birthday yall, did I forget anyone? Probably not…. Moving on, I have been doing a lot of thinking this month and I have come to the conclusion that, it is my year! I receive my blessings, my healing, and my abundance this year.

So anyway…do you eBay? That is my latest obsession, I have spent the last three weeks learning the ropes on eBay, selling all kinds of things and making a killing, its amazing the type of attention you get from eBay, this may be the cure for my ADD, I mean, I get unlimited attention and I make money all in one…loving it!!! Let me warn you though this ebay mess can be addictive o! I am steady logged on to my eBay account, harassing folks to pay on the items they won and coming up with the next thing I will sell for profit. The down side is that I catch myself buying shit on eBay too…after my last experience with my cell phone, you would think QB has learned a lesson, but no sir….I just dey fuel the fire!
I can’t imagine the kind of trouble I will get into when my IT folks take a look at my cookies! Oh damn! Can any of you IT gurus tell me how I can delete my cookies permanently? As in no trace of where I’ve been on the web? Holla at your girl.

LP's Graduation

2006-12-20T11:12:00.000-08:00

So this past weekend my baby girl AKA first born graduated from college! Yes o my little Lolade with a Bachelors of Science! I am so proud of you mami!!! I stayed up all night Friday cooking, I had spent the better of the day shopping (grocery ni o..I am banned from the malls) so anyway, Dupe, Oyinade, Dami and Bode came by to help Denrele and I. It was crazy, I was so damn tired and the fear that I would finally burn down my apartment did not allow me rest at all! Ok I live on the second floor, and I turned my balcony into Alase central! Omo electric bills are off the chain and I was not willing to dish another hundy just because I can’t help myself! That and the fact that all my baffs will be smelling like j-rice…na! I put the fire extinguisher on standby and cooked away!

Saturday morning I was up bright and early….no way in hell I would miss the ceremony. It turned into a church service because Shirley Caesar was in the building. Dami picked Denrele and I up and by the time we got there, they were filled to capacity! Da hell, I ran past the police officer and blended with the crowd before he could catch me. I later came out and told another officer my family was outside and I reserved seats for them. LP’s parents were in town; I sat beside her popsy and talked the man to death, her mum was telling me about all the goodies she brought for me Combatrin was #1 on the list! Awww!!! Smoochies. After the graduation, we headed to Uncle Segun’s house for pots to cook the j-rice in. Remi’s mum gave me a ride back home because Dami’s car was packed! Uncle Segun gave me bread; he always does….this naija type bread that will go well with the beans I cooked last night! Good gawd it’s on!

LP's Graduation

Back at the crib I was delegating and of course all those Mofo ignored me. My third Born Oyinade and I got in a fight; she caught herself yelling at me! Omo I was beyond pissed. We fight all the time like we are really mother and daughter and then we make up in the cheesiest way....ewww! Anyway she apologized diplomatically just like I taught her. “Aunty Bola, I am sorry for the way I yelled at you, I am not sorry for what I said just how I said it!” I am so proud! How can I be mad at that? My favorite one is “I am sorry you feel that way” or “I am sorry you found what I said offensive” hehehe …Cunning….. I know! As I was saying, the party started on time, food was ready and folks were rolling in, we played pool, listened to music and ate till about midnight. I had an absolute blast! My babies wanted to go out for an after party but omo....I was done! We cleaned up the club house and I called it an evening…..My name is Bola and I will not be going to church on Sunday….I feel a sleepathon coming on!

On Sunday LP came by to scoop me and we went to hang out with her Folks, we later went to the movies with LP’s cousins and Dayo came to join us. We saw Blood Diamond….it was aii, ok it was great but I really wanted to see Pursuit of happiness. After the movies they dropped me off at home and hung out at my crib till about 1pm. I didn’t mind especially since I had the day off on Monday.

I finally saw Pursuit of happiness with Ade and Princess O on Monday ….it was so sad….so real, I just wanted to go home and thank God for everything I have. I asked Princess O if she learned anything from the movie and she said “yeah…..you have to be on time to get to the shelter so you can get a bed!” The things we take for granted.

Congratulations LP......here is to the beginning of many more great things to come!

Christmas Gift for all!

2006-12-19T14:19:00.000-08:00

My dear blogsphere friends,

Its somewhat embarrassing to admit, I'm not getting an annual bonus and Christmas is tight this year. I was going to give you all stolen forks from various restaurants I've been to this year like I did last year but we used most of them for Remi's wedding and LP's graduation so I will be making bedroom slippers for you all as gifts. Please let me know your sizes. You'll most likely agree that it's a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I've included the
instructions below:

How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads:

You need fourmaxipads to make a pair. Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part. The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top. Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part. Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), beer bottle tops or shaving sticks for men,etc.

These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light and Get out the Sand Bags.
* Unique

I've attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you
can see the nifty slippers for yourself.... Awaiting your response. It's crucial that I get the right size for each one of you so holla at your girl!!!!

Merry Christmas and remember...God love you and so does Queen B

06 Evaluation

2006-12-15T08:59:00.000-08:00

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before? Colored my hair

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more
for next year? Nope, Nope

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Quite a few

4. Did anyone close to you die? My uncle but we weren’t close

5. What countries did you visit? None

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? A house

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? February 10th

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I cleaned out my social closet

9. What was your biggest failure? None…ok maybe the meatpizzies I attempted to make

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? None…to God be the glory

11. What was the best thing you bought? My brown laundry Shoes !

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My big sis…she was so much more coooooollllller this year than last!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Mine

14. Where did most of your money go? Grocery Shopping

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Remi’s wedding

16. What song will always remind you of 2006? MJB ‘no one but you’

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? same
iii. richer or poorer? Richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Pay my tithes

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Shop

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Not sure yet

22. Did you fall in love in 2006? Yes…and hard!

23. How many one-night stands? One night werrin?

24. What was your favorite TV program? Fashion house/Ugly Betty/Hero/Grey’s Anatomy/CSI Miami/Top Model/6 degrees/ Studio 60

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last
year? No

26. What was the best book you read? A purpose driven life

27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery? Lauryn Hill

28. What did you want and get? My man, My treo

29. What did you want and not get? My Juicy bag

30. What was your favorite film of this year? None..they all sucked!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was thrown a surprise get-to-gether……28!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more
satisfying? Everything I wanted and didn’t get

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Hey! I held it down

34. What kept you sane? My vision

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I have a major crush on AKON

36. What political issue stirred you the most? None!

37. Who did you miss? God

38. Who was the best new person you met? No one important

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: Life has no guarantees

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year…I’m Every Woman!

Meatpizzies

2006-12-14T09:31:00.000-08:00

Okay so I was feeling like Chef Boladee yesterday, I was craving meat pie and somehow I felt I could do a much better job that the woman that makes them here for a buck a piece. I am the biggest food critic ever….I have a handful of folks that their cooking impresses me. Anyway so I called Yetunde…another chef like me and I asked her for the meat pie recipe…well, Yetunde referred me to her friend Mo and you could tell the babe knew what she was saying, she walked me through the recipe and I was feeling too bunz!

After work I headed to the grocery store…$36 later, I had all the things I would need for the best meatpizzie ever!
I so ditched bible study for my little mission impossicant!
I followed the instructions as best as I could remember, I asked Mo to email me the recipe but I forgot to check my email….Oh well. How hard could it be right? I mean I make the meanest Efo, moi moi and obe buka in the game so Meatpizzie should be a breeze! Omolayo and Denrele left for Bible study which was great so I wouldn’t get distracted. I kneaded and rolled and stirred for the next 45 minutes. For some weird reason, my dough would not behave! I got really frustrated and shoved it all in the oven!

OMO can you say disaster! I sat on my kitchen floor laughing at myself for a good 15 minutes, then I called Mo to placed an order for Meatpizzie for Lolade’s party….this little experiment was my test run, I was going to bake all the Meatpizzes for Lolade’s graduation but after this crap…Omo I will pay the woman double for the meatpie!

The worst part of it all was when Princess O and Ade got home from bible study; I had forced myself to eat one of the pies and was using water to shove each bite down!
O and Ade started laughing and my baby told me that was the worst meatpie she had ever had! They hurt my feelings. I even invited Dupe and Dewunmi to come eat some of my meatpie and they declined…da hell? Even Sammy, the Grubido of Raleigh, took one bite and passed on my meatpizzie!

Someone should have told me 'I can bake all things through Christ who strengthens me' is not a prayer!

I am going to try again….maybe next year but for now, I will gladly let the meatpie lady handle her business!

2006-12-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

My fat arse!!!!

2006-12-13T10:47:00.000-08:00

Ok so maybe I have gained a little weight! I can’t help it…I am always hungry! As in ….all the damn time. I think I have worms. So I told Kunsh about all the things I need from Naija….Combatrin, Kajal etc..and he laughs like I am being ridiculous….
“What is Kajal?” he asks me. I explained that its eye pencil sort of like tiro, he laughs even more “Come on babe, they’ve got better eye pencils over there” I can’t explain it; those that use Kajal know what I am saying right? The one I had was stolen; NEWSFLASH!!!! Thief of my Kajal…I have used the same one since SSII and you are probably one application from an eye infection…so good luck! But I digress, eh hen …..So I go on to tell him why I needed Combatrin, I am always hungry, I eat all the time, the good thing is that I don’t eat junk food or fast food, I eat Food Food. When I am hungry, rather than eat a snack, I will hold it till I can make a meal and 2 hours after that meal I am hungry again!

So on Sunday, Bayo tells me that I have gained more weight since the last time he saw me……Bayo is like my scale…he just looks at me and tells me if I am gaining weight! The boy is honest like that so I believe him. I don’t understand…I used to be such a skinny heifer growing up and I have always been a grubido…so why now? I aint that old, so it can’t be that my metabolism is stalling or is it? Oh lord…Imma have to go on a diet, well after I try the Combatrin. I am still a size 8 and I refuse to shop outside the juniors department dammit!!! Ok…I am going on a diet….I know I say that crap all the time but mehn….I am starting to feel heavy!!! I beg if you have a diet regime that worked for you…holla at me!

I spoke with LP last night and her mumsy is in town…guess what? She brought me Combatrin!!! I remember her asking me if there was anything I wanted her to bring from naija and I just kept saying Combatrin….I am sure she thought I was crazy!!!

Ok so my baby girl LP aka first born is graduating on Saturday! WOW!!! I am so proud of you snookums!! We are having a party at my club house and you are all invited!!!
I will be throwing down in the kitchen, Obe buka and tins….so plenty to eat plenty to drink!

PS..I will also be making meat pie...if I fcuk it up, its Yetti's fault!

Happy Birthday Bukky!!!

2006-12-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

At the harbor in 04/05...when was this sef?

Still at the harbor.... we had so much fun...didnt we?

This was late 05...we where shopping like we won the lottery!!!!

Smoochies Buki!!! At my house in 06

2006-12-12T09:26:00.000-08:00

Many faces of Bukky

About to go somewhere...I cant even remember

2006-12-12T09:20:00.000-08:00

New year 03

At Wande's party 05

2006-12-12T09:02:00.000-08:00

I know this was at Moji's crib in 04......LA looked bored!!!

I will never forget halloween 04.....in B'more!!!!

Erhhmmmm...I dont where know jo...Moji made us go!

Happy Birthday to my girl Bukky Orukotan, I have been sitting here trying to gather all the cool pictures I know we’ve taken but Moji must have them because I was only able to gather a few. Bukky is one of my dearest friends… a really deep person that has all these mind-blowing POV on just about any subject. Bukky has a way of calming my nerves in a What-would-Jesus-do kinda way. I love you sis and even though we don’t see and talk as often as we used to…I hope you know you mean a lot to me. Today and always may God bless you in abundance and bring to pass all of your heart desires according to his will. See at Christmas…yes I am coming…and what?

Ho Ho Ho

2006-12-12T08:13:00.000-08:00

Christmas is coming and folks all around are catching the Ho Ho Ho virus and I refuse to let it affect me. Ok so I am not big on Christmas, I don’t do the whole tree and gift mess. My big sis has invited Omolayo to come spend Christmas with her family….I couldn’t be happier…Princess O, pack your bags and away you go! I will be working this Christmas as well, not on the day of but around it, although Florida sounds really tempting…Bukky I am inviting myself! My beginning of the year plan was to spend Christmas 06 in Naija….since that plan has gone to flames, I will most likely be in Florida or at home.

So I was thinking about what I usually do around Christmas time. Last year I was in MD on the 12th of December, Wande was moving to LA, we were at her crib acting a complete fool…it was mad fun….its so weird cause I had the same hairstyle….hmmm
I remember Lola coming in from Jand to spend Christmas with me. I had a party at my house and realized I did not know anyone there…so I left for another party…that was weird. I remember all my folks were out of the country, Jand or Naija and my family was meeting in Michigan but I lived up to my black sheep status and decided not to go…I get like that around Christmas….I get upset that another year has ended and I have not kept any of my resolutions and make a list of new ones I am sure to break.
December 05

This year is a little different though…I have so much to be grateful for and I am not in the holiday funk……. I dare say that I am Happy! Definitely there are things I wish I did differently but overall….it was a good year! I have a bunch of Q&A to assess the year but that will be tomorrow’s blog.

Regarding my previous post....

2006-12-11T08:51:00.000-08:00

WOW!!!! To be honest when I wrote Akoba Central, it was ment for Chatafrikarticles.com but I decided to share it with bloggville too. I really did not think anyone would take me seriously, everyone that knows me knows my mind is a scary place and that I have a warped sense of humor but this was not even one of my comedic pieces. I probably should have told everyone that it was purely fiction…for that I apologize. I realize my little stunt made folks worry and God forbid there comes a time that I really need help, I hope you will all come through as usual. Seriously…e ma binu…MY BAAAD!

Akoba Central!

2006-12-07T14:16:00.000-08:00

So yesterday on my way back from work, I stopped by my daughter’s school picked her up and headed home, I decided to stop at the gas station for some flu medicine and Tylenol, my baby was running a fever from her teething. As I pulled up to the gas station a car was pulling out, the blind idiot decided to take out half of my bumper with him, his girlfriend came out smiling and offering apologies, we were in the middle of the street so I pulled in the side street away from flow of traffic and with plenty witnesses. I was hoping to milk the situation, granted my ass does not have insurance, but he hit me dammit! As I parked my car off the street I saw a lot of rugged faces, young kids but you could tell they were hood rats, wearing baggy clothes and baseball hats! Typical! I locked all my doors and instructed my daughter to sit tight; I grabbed my purse and walked to the rear of my car so we could exchange information. The guy offered to fix my car because he works at an auto shop… (I have heard that crap before!) I told him to write down admission of fault and a promise to pay on a piece of paper and we’ll be all done.

As he scribbled I saw a fleet of black SUV pull up and sirens blazing…Oh hell! who called the POPO? I figured someone must have seen the accident and notified the authorities. I swear I hate Yankee!!

About 8 cops came running towards us guns drawn and waiting for someone to do something stupid, I saw the hood rats running like this was a bust or something I got kinda scared cause I have watched enough movies to know that innocent victims get shot in crossfire. I picked up my bag and was about to get in my car for cover when this huge black cop pointed his gun in my direction and asked me to put my hands up! LOL…Are you joking? Am I being punked...Stop it O! I looked at him confused. Other cops had caught some of the kids that fled and had them all spread out on the concrete street. The black cop grabbed my arm and forced me to the ground; I busted my lip and bruised my knees in the process. Somebory is getting sued! It won’t be funny!

I laid on the ground in my newest BEBE shirt Oh hell to tha NO! I was cuffed and picked up off the ground. My daughter was screaming hysterically at this point, another officer was attending to her and they got my car keys from my purse to let her out. I asked them where they were taking her and they screamed at me to be quiet! Egba mi…I am sooooo not amused! What the hell is going on! Is this what happens when you get in an accident? Whatever happened to good old citation and have a nice day maam!

I watched as they emptied the content of my purse and I saw about a dozen tiny ziplock bags of powder and what looked like white rocks roll out! I had my mouth wide open…da hell? Then there was this regular sized ziplock bag with what appeared to be thyme.... filled to the brim! I could not close my mouth. The implication of what was happening hit me and I started to cry!

I swear I don’t do drugs…never have …well excluding this one time 4 years ago when my ex gave me two puffs of his joint because I was curious! It was one of those things that you needed to try and get out of your system, I still remember the horror I went through afterwards; the paranoia, the continuous laughter, I laughed so hard I started crying..it was horrible! I was rushed to the ER because I was certain my heart would stop beating! I vowed then never to do it again and I haven’t.

The black cop read me my rights! You are under arrest for possession with the intent to distribute! Say wetin? You must not know my peeps…we don’t do drugs, I am the only one that even smokes cigarettes and I am constantly chastised for that! The absurdity of the allegations was overwhelming, I just kept crying!

They put me, the guy that hit me, his girlfriend and three other hoodrats in a van and drove us down to the station. On our way the couple that hit me could not stop arguing, yelling and screaming at each other. I was in another world, this is a dream right? Any minute now I would wake up! Right? What will I tell my mum? I can’t go to jail! I am a girl, other than traffic violations I have never broken a law in my life! OMG!! This is not happening! We were taken to some room and asked a bunch of questions; Name, age, DOB, address, work location…blah, blah, blah and then they took my finger prints, took all my clothes and gave me a jumpsuit! No it wasn’t orange, it was green. I was so weak from crying I just went along. They took pictures of my side view and front view and led me to some room that had a huge desk and one chair. I sat there playing the entire scene in my head. What did I do, where did those drugs come from? Dude that hit me must have dumped them in my bag when he saw the POPO. Am I going to jail? Where is my daughter?

The detectives came in one after the other and asked me what happened for what seemed like the 100th time I told them, I told them again that the drugs was not mine and they laughed. One of the cops said he would be a Millionaire by now if he got a dollar every time someone said that. I decided to stop talking; they reminded me again that I had the right to an attorney, where will I start? I got my one phone call and my dumb ass called Naija…I just wanted to talk to Kunsh, like he could somehow appear and make it alright ….he didn’t pick up… I was tired, and I needed to lie down, in the morning I can figure this out. I was led to a cell that had just a flat board…. poor excuse for a bed, a sink and a toilet! It smelled like hell….I haven’t been to hell but I am pretty sure this is how it smells! I decided to pray. “Dear God…it’s me again. I know there is nothing you can’t do but if this is one of those things that is meant to teach me a lesson…Please God…I get it…let me out of here…if you won't (cause I know you can) kill me now, because there is no way I can survive in here…watch my baby for me please God…Amen”

Dami's Birthday

2006-12-01T08:56:00.000-08:00

My baby girl’s birthday was on Tuesday. I totally forgot, I called her to yarn nonsense, she had a party in MD and I couldn’t make it so I was checking on her to see how the party went; I quickly dismissed her for another call. When I got home Ade asked me if I was going out for dinner…the hell? “No! For what? With who?” I attacked her. “Its Dami’s birthday” she responded. I felt like a complete idiot! Are you serious! OMG!! I spoke with the twit today and she did not say shit, she must be enjoying this! I called Dami to apologize and made her a bunch of promises I am sure to break. Well there goes my plans to make obe buka and plantain for dinner. I shoved my meat back in the freezer and touched up my face for dinner. More American food ARRRRGGGGHHHHH why cant there be one Naija joint serving Amala and gbegiri for a change! LP came to join us and we headed out to six forks. We made a quick stop to pick up cake, flowers and cards for Dami. What I really wanted to get her was a banging top and some shoes, Dami has fabulous taste just like her mama…hehehe.
So dinner was great, everyone came through to show Dami some love. Twisted Forks was the restaurant of choice…ok food I guess, but don’t ask me, I don’t like American food. Hell I coulda cooked up some shit for the crew and it would cost ¼ of what we spent out there. We hung out for a bit afterwards. Ade had to go to work so, LP and I were stranded. How about we piled ourselves in Tola’s rental. Tola is here from Naija fro a few days.Dupe, Dami Demi, LP, Funmi, Tola, Oby and Mua all in one car, it was a riot! Oby gave me some egusi her mum made and best believe I made Amala when I got home. It was the bomdigiddy! Who needs soufflé minion when you got amala and egusi!! Slept like an absolute baby!

Dami's Birthday

Damilola Banwo…I love you girl but you already know this. I am proud of all you do and I am certain that your future will be brighter than even you can fathom. Today and always…May you be too relevant to be ignored, May you encounter God and never remain the same, May the grace for completion come on you. You shall be blessed till the blessed call you blessed….Amen

More pictures

Segun Gele…a phenomenal talent

2006-11-26T10:52:00.000-08:00

When preparing for Remi’s wedding, I advised her to use one of Mac’s freelance artists for her make-up. I was comfortable with them and trusted their products but Remi insisted that she wanted Segun Gele, he would do her hair make-up and Gele; he did one of our friends’ wedding in Texas and Remi was very impressed. I did not attend the wedding so I had no clue and because he was a dude…I was more than skeptical.

Well I’ll be damned! My first encounter with Segun was a text message I got from him on the day of the engagement. “Ms Odegbami…Remi needs you! You NEED to check your voice mail and free up space so others can leave urgent messages for you” folks don’t usually tell Queenb what she NEEDS to do so right off the bat I was a fan!

I was very impressed with the man I met, so full of life, so much personality, a huge goofball and he is the life of any party!

I took one look at Remi and my eyes welled up! Anyone that knows her will testify that make-up is not her forte....get my girl some chapstick and she is good to go! But on this day...Good Gawd!! She looked so beautiful and it was just right, the colors Segun chose enhance her natural beauty without being obvious....I stand corrected...this man got skills! And then the Gele....OMG....one word.....FABULOUS!!!!

I watched mesmerized as ladies lined up to get their Gele tied. He effortless tied each one different from the next yet equally fabulous. He was two steps behind Remi the entire time touching up her lip-gloss and ensuring she was in high spirits.

One the wedding day Segun tied my Gele....it was outrageous to say the least but the kind of outrageous that guarantees all eyes are on you....yall know my attention deficient ass was loving every minute of it!

So I called Segun up and asked him a few questions:

So why Gele?
I will say Gele is just an aspect of what I do and since Yankee is a land of opportunity i just had to take it to the next level from where I started in Naija. I've always done hair all my life, if u know anyone that went to LASU they will tell u how good I handled the hair from braids to twist to weaves to dredz u just name it I did it all and I actually trained quite a number of people b4 God chose to situate me here. Back to the Gele business in Yankee; it all started in Atlanta at a friends wedding where I saw this beautiful woman well dressed with a mans hat on her head and her Gele in her hands so I figured she needed help in tying it and approached her to do it when she laughed at me and say she'll wait to see if she could find a lady that will help out in doing it and she said thanks; I looked at her and said to her "let me do this; if u don't like it I will pay u $5” and she said if I do it right she will make it $7, right there at the car park on this faithful day 26th April 2003 I made my debut with Gele having my First client as the IYA ALAJE of ATL herself and I made $265 that very day after which I left for Naija the next day.
Coming back to Yankee just paved the way for me to start my own little way of making money with the necessity of having any "paper" or "license" to do any type of work.

How long have u been doing this?
Like I said earlier I started doing business in 1996 when I became a saloon owner on campus and I've always done hair for weddings and later graduated into doing makeup for brides, I later added Gele to it when I could no longer coupe with the way my brides look at their engagement parties so I can proudly look back and say I've being in business since 1996; 10 years now to be exact.

Any future plans to expand?
Expansion is a major part of growth so I Will say yes I have plans to expand; I would like to have a school where can teach Nigerian women in America the DIY of Gele and how to enhance their beauty as a true African woman and also I'm looking into having a brand or two of my own Gele fabric and lace for now I'm also looking into having my own line of makeup suitable for women of color.
Is the bridal service a full time gig? If not what is your 9-5 job?

How I wish I can have a 9-5 job LOL, I have never had the opportunity of working for anyone my entire life, I have always had to provide for myself even through the University, not for the reason of lack by my folks but I’ve always wanted to be able to reach for whatever I desire to have and time I feel like having it.
So yes the bridal service is my full time Job and I will say I'm proud of what I do for a leaving it is really paying off BIG time; thanks to my BAD habit of savings.

What else do you do for fun?
hmmmmm what else apart from hair, makeup and Gele?
COOKING of cause yes cooking is another aspect of my life that people don't know I'm good at; well if u see how healthy I look, I know u will not doubt my skills in the kitchen, talk about the most tedious job food to those of u who know how to cook IGNORE is the bomb and mine is to die for and guess what if there is no ogre no ignore shirking.
I also like to dance a lot as that is the only form of exercise I "pretend" to do when I have the chance to.

Do you have any sisters?
Yes I do have a sister my elder and only sister, if u think I learned anything form her that will be the greatest joke of the year cus she knows nothing but cooking aside from that all I know today is borne out of my innate talent and the curiosity to find out how things are done in a different way, I never really went to school at first until I know these were the things I wanted to do for a leaving, I went to Jones Int'l Cosmetology college, went to Last looks makeup Academy, have a Diploma in Bridal Consulting from PCDI (school of professional services) in GA and of cus I fly to anywhere there is a new technique for makeup all in the effort to continue to improve myself and provide a better service for my clients.

How much will it cost to grace an occasion with your presence?
My prices are the same in-state or out-of-state, my services includes doing the brides hair, makeup and accessorizing the bride in readiness for the ISLE , I stay to give touch-ups all day and help with the brides wardrobe for the night party (owanbe as the yorubas call it) all of that for the whole day attracts a $500 fee . Now if I have to fly out of my terrain to service a bride, all she does is transport me there and accommodate me which I think is not too much if she plans way ahead of time to find great flight deals for says $180 round trip. helllllllllllllllllllo! And of cause leaving he rest to my expertise. And I must say I have had the pleasure of working with well over 200 brides from the time I started to date I have being friends with them all and I must say I appreciate u all for giving me the opportunity of being a part of your life's journey cus I know whenever u remember the day u got married u surely will remember and pray for me and God in his infinite mercy will grant all ur hearts desires. Amen

Check out his website

I grew the balls to ask Segun if he was gay…I was scared cause this dude don’t play but I was dying to know! Not that his sexual orientation has any effect on his talent but inquiring minds want to know.

Are the rumors true? Are u gay?

I feel people should try and get a life for themselves instead of painting people with colors that do not soothe even themselves talk less of those they bather their image mostly when they don't even have the faintest idea about. One's social orientation really goes a long way to determine one's exposure and how they perceive life in general; the mere fact that I work in a ladies field does not mean i'm gay and i'll not be the first guy working in a ladies field we have so many we can count on mere finger tips as it stands, the famous naija hair guru bobby eke (owner of bobby's signature in s/lere Lagos) the ever present cosmetologist Emily Millionaire in palmgroove S/lere to mention a few in the naija world ; we have the pro of the pro's Paul Mitchel who has one of the best range in the worlds hair care industry today is he gay/ we have the best cooks and chefs all around the world today are they gay? we have the best fashion designers in the world who are not one so why do people like to slain their fellow human being?

I feel i was created for a purpose which i believe i'm fulfilling to the fullest and more so there is something called TALENT which is ones inate ability to do what others can't ordinarily do without undergoing skilled training; that is what i know i have "A GREAT TALENT " which is working out for me. God Bless America ; the land of opportunity, who would have thought i will be able to make a living out of gele tying , WHO ? A piece of advice to all the speculators, u all need to get a life and chose ur friends if i don't deserve to your friend because i'm made the way God wants me PERFECTLY MOLDED , and EMBELLISHED WITH GREAT HUMAN SKILLS; at least people through my Gods given talent praise God for my life ; has anyone EVER praised God as a result of what u are or something EXTRA ordinary about you ? THINK and start to appreciate Gods work. I'll like to borrow a Yoruba addage that says " orisha bo ba le gbe mi , fi mi si le bo she ba mi.

I love my job, i love the field i have chosen to be identified with in life and i'm proud of what i do, i have sailed through college if you must know St Gregory's College my alma matta, i have sailed through the University LASU the Great you can try dig up issues about me and i bet you ill not find anything on me and this is just to show u how decent and morally clean one can be.

i hope this answers your question. if the people needs further clarification as to my sex life they should please address me in person my number is 832xxx-xxxx and my name remains the same oluwasegun olaleye.

Shegcy

and well..sorry to disappoint yall nosy MOFO but HE IS NOT GAY! He is so at ease with women and they flock him like bees. I can understand why though, he is an absolute joy to be around and he funny as hell not a dull moment when Segun is in the building. It was an absolute pleasure meeting you Segun and when I get married you will be the one to hook me up no doubt!

IZZZ TEW MUSSSH

2006-11-21T22:33:00.000-08:00

Remi amd Babs

2006-11-21T12:31:00.000-08:00

The best damn wedding ever!! Remi and Babs

2006-11-21T12:18:00.000-08:00

OMG!!! In my entire life, I have not been to a more fabulous wedding than that of Remi and Babs!!! I mean Good Gawd!!!!

The weekend started off Friday. Folks flying in from all over the world! We were all running around like mad folks on last minute errands. I must have made 10 trips to UPS; everything I ordered was still not here!!!! Egbami! I was entrusted with ordering the scarves and a few party favors and UPS and Fed-ex probably have my name on their most IRATE customer list by now! I did not give a shit, I’ll be damned if I let courier service mess up this fabulous event. After I threatened all their ancestors and cursed them out in my egba dialect, all my products surfaced! Nonsense!!!

Debisi and Bro Folabi from London…representing!!! All remi’s Aunts from Naija.

My mum and my sister flew in from Minnesota, my girl Bisola from LA, my MD hommies Moji and Lola were repping MD to the fullest! Thank you mummy for everything. My mumsy brought me fresh fish, meat and chicken all the way from minnesota!! Iya onigba...you are too Bunz!! Love you mami!!

Wunmi flew in from Naija a night before; I spent the evening at Remi’s crib with Titi who came in from London. Ashandy came by and we consulted with the Mac lady who came by for our final consultation. We were anxious as hell and I couldn’t stop looking at my Aderemilekun as she remained un-phased and calm like it was another day! No doubt she was excited but trust Remi…she is never one to break a sweat.

I saw Remi for the first time at the engagement; I stayed away from the hair and make-up session because I knew she was in good hands. Good Gawd! I mean Damn, my girl looked so beautiful, my eyes welled up…its for real…its finally sinked…Remi is getting married! Remi is married!!!!

How about everyone one was looking chasis as in, no jacked up face in the house. Our mean ass Gale was fierce as hell courtesy Segun Gale (I shall be doing a whole spread on him). Texas chicks were in the building! Apata reunion for shizzle. Shout out to Bumni Love, Nike Idowu, Jean, Tunde and Wunmi Odumosu!

The engagement ran long; trust the old school folks to lengthen their shine time. We held it down. Food was excellent; the ambiance was to die for! Did I mention the view? Omo there was a lake just outside the hall…absofuckinglutely breathtaking!!!
So after the party was the after party!!…the Off the Market Bash! It should have been called Off the Shizzle Bash!
The hostess were wearing white tees with COCO on the front and numbers on the back… a big shout out to Dupe Aka hostess with the mostess…Mehn! You made me proud to be your friend!!! The other fabulous women on the hostess list includes LP (my first born), Dami (my 2nd born), Oyinade (my third born), my babies were looking fierce!!! As always Shade Omosaiye was holding it down for the COCOs, Tutu, Oby and Dami from MD!!!

How about my fellow bride’s maids!!! A special shout out to Wunmi(Naija), Titi Connecto (Jand), Busola (MD), Tosin (MD), Funmi (NC), Bebe (NC) and Maid of honor woman of substance Adenrele Sarunmi!!!! Don’t forget yours truly DQUEENB!!!!
OMG!!! It was wild! I kept sipping all night and jamming to the beats of DJ Kenny…the female juke box! Kudos Kenny, you made me proud!!! That was the most jumping party I have been to…ever!!!

The party ended at about 4am!! Imagine that shit! And we stayed behind to clean up. Bros Folabi checked Wunmi and I into the Hilton at about 6:30am. Brother Folabi...I have mad love for you bro!!!
Just as I was getting settled, the MAC lady came knocking on the door, it was 7am and Me-Me was not playing! She set up in my room and did my make-up first! Omo we did not sleep all night! Da hell…shortly after our hairdresser Nicole came to style our braids!
Did I mention hair and make-up was paid for by the couple! Sweet!!!

Everybody was looking fabulous and ready to roll at 12 noon. Our limo was waiting downstairs; I had butterflies in my tummy like I was the one getting married!

Check out our groomsmen!!! Good Gawd almighty…fine boyz no pimples, no wrinkles with dimples looking all kinds of sharp clean shaven with their fine brown suits. A big shout out to Tayo for providing pimp juice on our way to church!!!

The service was short but beautiful! As Remi walked down the isle, my eyes welled up! I refuse to cry dammit but I couldn’t help it. IT WAS TOO MUSH!!! We took pictures after the ceremony and hurried to reception where 60 tables and 700 chairs were all beautifully arranged at the Hilton hotel! There were over 700 guests! Open bar all night!!!! Omo..in fact!!!

The room was breathtaking! We danced in as couples and I just want to thank my partner for being an absolute gentleman the whole time! He held my hand and constantly asked if I was ok…sweet sweet Kenneth… Muah!!

We changed into our aso ebi and I swear I have never seen such love, there must have been 100 young ladies running around in cream and brown lace looking hella good! Segun gale hooked us all up and it was just fabulous!!!

Remi and Babs came out for their first dance and it was the first time I saw folks spraying money to English song! Just beautiful! My girl was glowing like WHOA!!!
We handed out our party favors, took pictures, danced and acted a complete fool all night long…It was absolutely fabulous!

Eleba...I had fun with you too, it was a lovewly way to finish the evening... smochies!!

On Sunday we went to church for thanksgiving, it was packed!!! Everyone came back to my crib and I cooked fish stew, chicken stew and jollof rice! We were planning on going out to get krunked with the londoners but omo...lack of sleep did not let us!

A special thank you to Sammy! You are such a good man and I know Remi is happy to have you in her life, you wowed me with all you did!

The hosts, headed by my Ace boon koon Dayo Adeyanju...yall were looking HOT and working hard! Mad love to Raleigh's finest!!!

Tomi Awokoyo...you get on my damn nerves and you were one more smart remark away from being slapped!!! But... Omo....I wouldnt want anyone else to plan my wedding...you outdid yourself mama!!Your organizational skills and creativity was evident on this day! so please save the date for me.

Aderemilekun, I did not get to give my speech at the wedding but I will give it now.

I cannot think of anyone more deserving of this than you, you are a beautiful soul and your heart is pure towards everyone. I am blessed that we are friends. Babalola is one lucky MOFO to have you as his wife but I think he already knows that. It is evident today what kind of person you are, surrounded by people near and far who want nothing but the best for you. On this day and till death do you part, you and Babalola shall be happy, your home will be filled with love, and abundance will be your portion. All of your heart desires shall manifest according to God’s grace. Any evil thoughts or actions towards your marriage shall not manifest in Jesus name. My god child is going to be spoiled rotten…I can’t wait to meet him/her so please let the panashukwing begin!!! I love you girl and I always will.

If you missed the wedding….DAMN!…you mizzed!!! Itzzz tew moooosssh!!
Check out the pictures HERE…and stay tuned there will be more pictures to come!!

Remi's Bridal Shower

2006-11-06T10:20:00.000-08:00

OMG! The past couple weeks has been tremendously stressful but it was for a good cause. A big thank you to my fellow organizers Denrele and Dupe…we held it down yo!
We had two showers for Remi, One Saturday night and the other Sunday…Omo it was one hell of a night Saturday boi! I mean Damn!!!! I will spare yall the details. We wanted to make sure Remi would never forget this night…..and I seriously doubt she will. Very exclusive shower for selected few…but omo…It was bananas!! We went out later Saturday night and we were tired as hell but still cooked for the shower Sunday and made it to church on time! I can not count the number of free drinks Remi got, but I was there to help her with half of each glass…heeehehehehe I was crunked!!
The turn out on Sunday was crazy, everyone came through; I have never seen such a turnout for a bridal shower! The highlight of the evening was watching Remi’s reaction as we watched a pre taped show we made with everyone in it sending shout outs and best wishes. It was so emotional and reality hit me that my girl is getting married fa real!!!!

remi's shower

Click on Remi's picture for more pictures!

A big Thank you to the Awani’s for availing us their mansion, I doubt any other crib could have accommodated all dem folks! And all of the folks who came through to show Remi some love….we will join you in celebrating your own joyous occasion in the near future as well! Save the date yall November 18th 2006 Raleigh NC….its going to be bananas!!!!!

Hot Boiz!!

2006-11-03T09:37:00.000-08:00

Yetty gets the award for blogger of the month for her collection of sexy ass men on her blog this Month. In appreciation of our naija brothers, she did a spread featuring each of them in their element with Q&A so you get to know them a wee bit. Kudos Yetti...you brought it!

Its refreshing to see brothers in a positive light, we are so damn hard on them most of the time so I am definitely feeling this right hurr!!!

Did I mention every single one of these brothers are hot as hell? I mean Good Gawd...check it out HERE

Catching up...

2006-10-31T08:45:00.000-08:00

I have not blogged in like …..Forever! A lot has been going on. Work is crazy mehn, on most days I just want to quit! Da hell? But then I remember how grateful I am for my job and I snap out of my funk. I had lunch with Dr. Ashiru the other day and it really got me thinking about what I want to be when I grow up…except….my ass is grown! Oh snap!

Sade had a baby girl! Thank God for Fola because that baby is hella cute, I wanted to give her 8 days before I published her picture on WWW. I name her Shaniqua .....hehehehehe! Fola, I know you are a nice guy and all but your daughter will be dealt with because of her mother Sade...I will pick on her till she turns 18!

Remi, Ade and I went for this Owambe party, Remi’s family friend was having and it was promised to be bananas cause Barrister was in the building$^^&#(*#@(??? I don’t know a damn thing about Barrister except he is about 4 feet tall and round! But the grown folks seem to dig it…you could see all the menopausal women grinning and blushing like it was Usher in the building or something…warefa! How about I did not learn from my last awoof and I chowed down some efo again, that and a sample of errything on the menu! This one was good sha! My greedy ass needs help. How about I wore my pink lace and I swear I could not breathe! My teeries where suffocating, But I shallant gree so I rocked that sucka anyway!

But not to worry, starting tomorrow I am going on a slim fast diet! That’s right, I will document my progress so if you care to join me on my journey to lepaville…Nov 1st baby…. its on and popping! No rice, no eba. no obe buka…Just the slim fast shake and bars! Wait o maybe I should wait till after Sade’s naming ceremony on Friday? Hmmmm…we’ll see.
I didn’t go to church Sunday, all that loud annoying music from Saturday gave me a huge headache, I was in bed till 1pm and doing a bit of soul searching. I went to the hospital to visit Sade and took my babies with me. Denrele and I had this gig later Sunday working with some kids on inflatable playground at some church in Raleigh. I can’t stand kids but mehn… I had a blast. I told LP to drop Molayo off so she can be part of the rara. They called it the Fall festival but it was a Halloween party. We were there till about 8pm then I rushed to Cary for my mandatory meeting with Marlboro.

Remember last week when I said happy birthday to LA? Turns out the heifer's birthday was actually October 27th! It’s all Moji’s fault! She called me bright and early on the 21st to remind me to call LA….I felt like the biggest idiot alive. LA indulge my singing and carrying on, I even did a whole spread on my blog and then she goes… ”err hem, Bola its not my birthday” Moji I am so going to kick your ass!!!

I am acting yall…yep Dqueenb is a STARA!!! Ok its for church, I was asked to play the lead role for out youth and singles play! Omo…I am mad excited, which is really weirding me out. As in, I have been on time for rehearsals and kept my diva attitude to a minimum. I find that I am actually enjoying this! Imma put that sucka on youtube when it’s done!!!

Bisi Akerele...AKA Cousin Bisi...AKA Omodokoko of Egbaland! Happy Birthday miha!!! Love you long time!! I can truly say you are my favorite cousin! Living with you at Grandma was hella fun..I miss you sis and I can't wait for you to move back from Japan!

I lost my Uncle….Tunde Ogunsina age 43…cause of death… stomach ache! Da hell? My mum is in Naija visiting and she was blowing up my phone but when she couldn’t reach me she started calling all my friends. I finally got to speak with her and she was devastated, I didn’t even know what to say!!
Uncle Tunde….you will be missed; I trust you are in a better place.
Then I got an email from Aunty Funmi about yet another plane crash killing over 100 people! Jesu…Naija scares the hell out of me but at the same time I am so drawn to the place its crazy!!

You go Mamis!!!

2006-10-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

I am sooo proud of my girlfriends in MD they participated in the race for the cure last week! Big ups to you all. Breast cancer will not be our portion in Jesus name..Amen. It is so encouraging to see yall commit to such a selfless cause.
Next year I am so there!! I will be the water girl cause you know I can run!
Bussy baby..You look hella hot in those spandex!
Funmi...After one and still hot!
Moji, Tolu and BukkyI am so proud of yall.....muah!
Oya don't front..... I know yall miss me in MD abi?
Hey.... Where was LA?

This weekend

2006-10-23T10:34:00.000-07:00

Weekend was bananas...Oyinade, Molayo and I spent the day at the mall, then later Lolade and Dammy met up with us for Dupe's birthday. We got ready at my house and joined everyone else at Aura...it was fun!!! Happy birthday again Dupsey!!!

Pictures!!!

I got to hang out with all my babies this weekend! We missed the fair this year…oh well.
After church Sunday we went for this birthday party for a lady in our church...food was hella good and we hung out there till about 4pm. I spent the rest of my evening with my girls watching movies and gisting. Denrele and Dupe joined us later on. Oyinade spent the night and I had to drop her off this morning, she has been pooping all damn morning, I was getting irritated cause I had to go to work. On our way to Durham, I had to make an emergency stop at some hotel cause I had the runs and Oyinade was threatening to go on my back seat. I had to go back for round two. Apparently we had food poisioning! Dayo, Remi, Lolade all had the same problem...I took the day off. I am blogging inbetween dumps! Help me!!!!

Happy Birthday Jomi, Dupsey and Uncle Folusho!!!!!

2006-10-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

Today is a special day because my Nephew, brother in law and my dawg Dupe are all celebrating their birthday!!!
Jomi darling I am so proud of you, you are growing up to be really smart and handsome and I can't wait to see you!!
Uncle Folusho..the best brother inlaw ever, thank you for all you do for me, I wouldnt trade you for another...ever!
Dupe...you are amazing, I love that you never get mad and you see good in everyone, I am glad I met you and glad we are friends. Its on tonight boi... we gonna get crunked!!!
What do you want for your birthday sef...oh thats right....I won't call you out on WWW but uhmm....... it buzzes!!

Love yall loads!!! I pray that God continues to shine his light on you.

Jomi's birthday Cake

I know my nephew is going to be famous and rich! I love you Jomi, you are my favorite nephew....damn you are my only nephew!

Uncle folu...I pray for everlasting, unconditional love and happiness, what you will need to continue heading your household and providing for your family will be made available to you according to God's grace...amen!!

Dupe, I pray for that amazing job, that loving husband, that great home...that joy that surpasses all things! I pray for that 'it' factor to be present in all you desire and to manifest in your life today and always...amen!!

Uncle folusho's birthday cake

Happy Birthday LA!!!!

2006-10-20T15:05:00.000-07:00

My girl LA's birthday is today....damn baby you is getting old!!!!

On this day and always... may you know peace like a river. May the good Lord show you favor. Anything concerning you will be perfected according to God's plan with perfect grace in perfect ways. May all that bless you be blessed and all that curse you be cursed. All of your heart desires shall come to pass according to God's will.

My girl LA and I met about what 5 years ago...funny enough it was on the web and we clicked instantly. She has been a great great friend to me and is one of my style icons.

Lola I know I don’t say it often enough but I love you mami, I am glad we made up because mehn...I missed you! i cant wait to see you in November Mehn...its on and popping!
I wish I was in MD, I would so take you to a movie and a strip club..hehehe...I think Lola and I are the only two Mofo that has never been to a strip club!

2006-10-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

2006-10-20T14:33:00.000-07:00

January 05

July 4th 04 pool party...dont ask why we werent wearing swimsuits!

2006-10-20T14:30:00.000-07:00

I think this was last year or was it January06...dunno jo

LA and I at Lex in DC

Omo it was hot o! At Yanju's farm party

This was a fun day! We crashed some housewarming!

2006-10-20T14:26:00.000-07:00

Some house warming we all went to in 2003 (dont ask me why she was grinning like that o!!! we were only drinking smirinoff)

LA's last trip to NC

Isnt she black? and lovely!!! hehehe

At the harbor in 05

The Fours

2006-10-18T15:30:00.000-07:00

Yetunde tagged me so why not
The fours

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. target…..stock girl
2. Family dollar…..Manager girl
3. Comcast…..marketing girl
4. Ms hilda…babysitter

FOUR FICTIONAL JOBS YOU WISH YOU HAD
1. I really wish I was a professional writer and author of gazillion books
2. I wish I was a business owner…running things and telling folks what to do!
3. I wish I was acting…doing movies and shit
4. I wish I was …uhmmm dunno jo

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. Don’t watch movies over…got the gist the first time
2.
3.
4.

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
1. Lagos
2. Ibadan
3. St paul
4. LA
5. Raleigh
6. Laurel
7. New Carrolton…oh dam just 4! Ooops!!

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
1. Top model
2. fashion House
3. grey’s anatomy
4. nip tuck

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION/TRAVELED TO
1. Abeokuta
2. Ijebu
3. lagos Island
4. brazil

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
1. www.yahoo.com
2. Remiand babs.com
3. my blog
4. www. Bible.com

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS
1. Eba
2. iyan
3. amala
4. rice…..
thats my entire diet too! Sad really

FOUR THINGS YOU WON'T EAT
1. sushi….hell na!
2. oysters…. Oh hell na!
3. snake….da hell?
4. pizza…don’t ask…I am just bush like that!

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD EAT OR DRINK RIGHT NOW
1. rice
2. obe buka
3. Efo
4. egusi ijebu
…help all I do is think about food!

FOUR THINGS IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. Computer
2. Bed
3. books
4. file cabinet

FOUR THINGS YOU WISH YOU HAD IN YOUR BEDROOM
1. My man
2. tivo
3. fridge…I eat in the middle of the night!
4. hardwood floors

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. this damned sweater that wont stop shedding!
2. fishnet tights
3. the white gold bling Lola bought me
4. black pencil skirt I stole from denrele! It looked better on me now!

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. In Naija
2. At home
3. In London
4. did I say naija?

FOUR FICTIONAL PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
1. willy wonka’s factory
2. neverland
3. narnia
4. bump fiction…Naija

FOUR PEOPLE YOU’D REALLY LOVE TO HAVE DINNER WITH
1. Kunsh
2.
3.
4.

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE THINKING RIGHT NOW
1. why am I still in the office?
2. Ok I came in at 11am
3. I wonder if Thelma took my baffs to the tailor yet
4. this four things crap is long o!

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS
1. my phone
2. food
3. my ring that sade gave me
4. my new shoes

FOUR PEOPLE YOU TAG
1. smoothvibes
2. desola
3. Back to the Beginning
4. Uzo

Pop stars turn Shoemaker!

2006-10-13T11:31:00.000-07:00

If na joke Beyonce better stop o! Tha hell? Yall know I love me some Beyonce , with her fierce self and a body that will make you go to the gym but my girl need to stick with singing ojare…for why naw? So I was shopping around for shoes…like I need any more…and decided to visit House of Dereon! The shoe collection is wacked!!!! Unless you plan on flying on a broomstick in these kicks …Omo don’t get set up o!

Now I am not the biggest JLO fan but my girl got some ill designers working for her! Don’t get it twisted because some of these shoes need help but there are some that are to kill for!

Right now, I am high on these pumps! But guess what? Why do Bebe have the same damn shoe! As in the exact same! Ole ni awon folks yi mehn! I know Bebe has definitely started smoking marijuana! afterall they have celebs on TV wearing their sturvs… Entertainment Tonight hosts and Fashion house actresses why won’t they loose their minds and forget ordinary folks!

How about Jessica Simpson, other than the Christian Louboutin patent knockoffs, all her shoes are wacked!! Besides, Aldo did those best or maybe Steve Madden, if he did not suddenly go crazy with his prices! Abi were ni e ni Stevie? Who is your father in the society sef? All of a sudden your shoes are $150 and over! Wonders shall never sieze!

So the winner is still JLO jare! You go girl! I don’t know about your baffs sha o but you are holding it down (amongst your peers) in the shoe depot!!!

I can't even remember what was going on.

2006-10-13T09:38:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love this picture! Sincce my hair is falling out, I may just do Risikat again...so what if my forehead is huge?

At Gertrudes

2006-10-13T09:26:00.000-07:00

My Ace Mo and I in the rain...imagine that!

Famous QB pose

QB, Mo and Elisa

Naija babe...Mo

Please forgive me but Elisa's camera is from the late 1800s so resolution is like whoa...not!

Wednesday Wednesday medicine.

2006-10-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

What’s new with QB…lets see, I have not been blogging because I have buried my busy body ass in work and coordinating events to keep my mind off things…it works too! If you have something on your mind, just keep busy and time passes by faster and time fixes everything!

So there is this new show “Fashion House” the absolute dudu! As in I watch it every night…omo talk about drama!!! At first I thought it would be about fashion for real like what’s hot and what’s not, but it turns out its modern day soap opera! Last night Maria Gianni got punked at the altar! She is a bitch but omo no one deserves that mehn!!! Check it out if you can! Fall line up is Bananas! Flavor of love, brothers and Sisters, Nip tuck, Prison break, Top Model, Grey’s Anatomy, desperate housewives, house Ugly betty Six degree Studio 60 …..Omo it’s on! My name is Omobolanle and I am officially jobless!

As you can probably tell from my lack of picture posting, my camera is out of commission! Well it works but it’s in dire need of aburo! This is why I have not posted any pictures from Ashandy AKA Sade AKA Iyawo Fola AKA Mrs. JINAD’s baby shower! Sade… forgive me!
Let me tell yall about this fabulous RARA that was orchestrated by yours truly…Queen B!!! Okay well let me give props to all my sisters that helped me out…Remi, Dupe, Denrele…Muah!!!
So it was this Saturday at Femi and Dewunmi’s crib, their walls are moss green which worked well with our Green and yellow color theme! We all cooked the food, Jollof rice, chicken Meat and Obe buka…my specialty and we bought the most beautiful cake. I entrusted Remi with the décor, she does a great job! Denrele and I ran last minute errands took a shower in like 3 minutes only to get there and discover we were soooo on Naija time! Please tell me why our guests didn’t arrive till 6pm! We had mad fun! It was a co-ed shower and the highlight of the evening was watching Tuoyo and two other dudes race to undress a Barbie and dress them in a separate outfit! It was a riot…btw…I invented that game but feel free to steal it! hehehe We made tee-shirts for Fola and Sade courtesy Azure by LP!!! The food was gone and so were the drinks and we tore up the guys’ house!

Hey check out the fall collection from NS effect! The designs are sick mehn!!!
And the quality is branded!!! Click Here

So our baffs are here for Remi’s wedding I absofuckinglutely love it! But….dilemma!!! I don’t know what to sew! Please email me sites where I can find bunz styles! As in I don’t know jare, I have looked everywhere but I can’t find a style that jumps at me! You know my ass is getting kinda chunky too so I need something that will bo asiri! I swear I am excited; there is so much to do and so little time!! What excites me the most is the reunion that will take place that weekend! Errybody will be in the building! Wale is flying in from London….Omo bring me some deodorant o! Yes baby SURE!! Wunmi from Naija! Bisola from LA…I have not seen my Abis since she had her first son five years ago! Yall know how I feel about planes….and that’s a 6 hour flight! Dolapo and Toyosi from TX!!! My MD crew (LA, MO and Elisa) will be in the building! My mum and sisters and even my step mum will be here! Please tell me why I ordered my bridesmaid dress a size small so I’ll be motivated to loose the weight! Erhhh IT’S NOT WORKING!!!

I was hosting single and strong this month so I did some more cooking Sunday morning and prepared for our meeting. It was very educative, I was very encouraged by this meeting and I really don’t know what I’d do without my single and strong sisters!

Remi is in St Thomas! As in a company paid trip to the blazing Island to work! That really blows!!! The heifer felt the need to tell me every hour where she was like I had somehow forgotten! Yes I am hating!!! I am sitting here shuffling paperwork all day long dealing with disgruntled employees and participating in meaningless conference calls while my girl gets to lay out on the beach and sip Mai Tai all day long!

Shout out to my brother Gbemi, bet yall didn’t even know I had a brother huh? Well I have three actually! Gholahan and Ore are the other two blokes but Gbemi and I have the same mama! He is really quiet and laid back and I am a bit more colorful. I really hope you can make it for Remi’s wedding! I love you and I am proud of you Papi!

Let me get back to work before these MOFO realize…I don’t do much round hurr!

My mum and my baby sis!

2006-10-03T08:36:00.000-07:00

Benisha's baby shower at the office.

2006-10-02T15:00:00.000-07:00

My first born LP and I

2006-10-02T14:48:00.000-07:00

Oh Lordy!!!

2006-10-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

This weekend was our church anniversary, for the first time in my life, I love church! Even with all the drama that I brought on myself, I still feel really good about church and I actually look forward to Sunday. I think it’s our Pastor, you can tell that he really cares and he is sincere in his faith…not to mention funny as hell! Anyway so there was a fundraising event Saturday, we are trying to build our own church. I rolled with Dammy Remi and Ade took Molayo and jaboed me…as usual! It was a really scary event, scary as you just knew God was in the building because supernatural things were taking place. I had an absolute blast…that is until I saw Dr. Ashiru!!! Please yall tell me why I was praying to fall out dead right there and then! I greeted him as usual and he is always so pleasant and candid and shows genuine interest in what new with QB. Ok so he grabs my arm ushering me to walking with him and I oblige. He casually dropped a bazukka on me “I read you blog, I was looking for Remi’s website and had forgotten the URL so I goggled her name and found your site. I loved every bit of it, I read it all night! I think you are extremely talented!” My heart stopped literally for a hot minute! NOOOOOO not Dr Ashiru!!! Remi and Denrele were laughing so hard! I told him I could not even look at him right now and I excused myself! He was mad cool about it though as in it shocked the bra strap off me! He told me to make sure I update it and send him a shout out! Hehehehehe gladly!!
A big shout out to Dr Ashiru…..you rock Daddy!!!!!!!
On Sunday I missed church, totally forgot my car was at Dammy’s! I was fully dressed and ready to go and I couldn’t find my car! Duh!!! I was so pissed! I called errybody but I couldn’t get in contact with anyone. I finally reached Remi at about 11:30 and she said all my possible rides were already in church! I called Dayo and he didn’t make it to church either so I asked him to come get me, then I slept off. Remi, Dupe and Ade made it to my crib first so I fashied Dayo and we all went to Ashandy’s crib! I will be a good girl and won’t call Shade out on her pot of stew incident! New York chick I am watching you o! You lucky your ass is pregnant… you are itching for a beat down!! We got home just in time for desperate housewives and Flavor Flav!! My weekend was aii..I am still in a funk..but nothing but time and God can help me with that.

God Bless America!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-29T11:16:00.000-07:00

Turns out my court date was today, I totally forgot till about noon! I called my HR at work cause I have this legal plan in my benefits. Please tell me why they found me a lawyer ASAP as in less than 10 minutes that is going to court on my behalf to get my case continued! The hell? I love this country wahlia! I don't even have to go see the dude, he entered my name in the system and pull up all my info! That's what up! To all you Mofo POPO...Bring it on! Hey Mo, I hope you haven't paid that ticket I got on your car? Exploitation time baby!!!
It funny how once you get that one ticket....You go on a streak and they just start rolling in! Omo F&%k the POPO bring it on!!! Omobolanle Odegbami.... ugatmadrishoes!!!!

Eba mi so fun LOLA mi ko mai lo o!!!!

2006-09-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

Olo mi Lola,
How are you? I am sure you are fine as my reliable Ace Moji keeps me informed. I am not sure how much longer we should allow this maddness to continue but I will be the older and fatter person( well I am now) and give you a public apology.
I am sorry you were offended by my words and actions on your last trip to NC. I am a very passionate person and I tend to loose my temper when I am missunderstood...you totally missunderstood me! I know we can never stop being friends but sometimes if you allow to much time to pass before mending fences you loose the parts.
I want the very best for you and you should never question that. I will admit I often get jealous of the bond between you and Moji...after all I found you first! LOL
I really miss you and I can't figure out what to wear with my grey Bebe skirt!!! Without you in my life my wardrobe would be bland!! please don't let my style be compromised and accept my apology! love you loads....believe that!

P.S. let it be known that I have the hottest phone in our crew....Pocket PC baby dont get it twisted!!!!

Wednesday Wednesday medicine

2006-09-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

Damn it’s been a rough couple of days! I have been sick like a dog…it must be the change in weather, I had to call in again yesterday, I know my boss is tired of my ass! But mehn thank God for Remi and Nyquil! I may not have made it. It must be my meds because I found myself boo-hooing on the phone to Moji today! What happened to hard core QB…I don’t know but that heifer must be on leave for real! I hate being emotional, I hate not having control and feeling helpless ….Arrrrggggghh I hate stuff!
Ok so I am feeling better, not really but I drugged myself so now I am numb! Hehehe
Why is it 6:30 and I am the only Mofo in the office? Well today is Wednesday so I figured I work till its time to go to bible study, because if I go home peren…it’s a wrap! I have a court date in the AM, I guess my luck ran out, I wonder what they will do to my law breaking ass if I don’t show! Wait o…this is NC and POPO around hurr are pretty jobless! They come to your house with warrants for traffic violation! Note to self: Go to court or call to reschedule. I had to tell Remi about herself today! That heifer is a stubborn goat! I mean it Remi…I aint playing either…best pig or not I aint having it!
Kodak gallery is on crack…fa real! I get pictures from random folk’s show up in my gallery, I am pretty sure they don’t know I have their pictures, what scares me is the thought that some of the pictures I uploaded with no desire to share is sitting in someone’s album! Now that would be bad! I sent an email to a couple of the people…still waiting on a response. Kodak says I should just delete the pictures if I don’t want them! Ahemmmm….so not the point! Anyway…. I am rolling out…Happy Wednesday!!

Can you say BANANAS?

2006-09-25T11:29:00.000-07:00

Last minute Friday, I decide to go to MD, I was invited to a wedding and I really needed to clear my head. I was planning on driving only if my folks would roll with me but all my kids were busy and my husband said it was impromptu, he couldn’t swing it so I abandoned my make belief family and bought a plane ticket. Remi was flying too so Moji arranged it so we’d roll together. Please tell me why my bargain hunting ass paid half of what Remi paid for my ticket? Hehehehe…that’s hot!

Aii so our in-law Babiluwe came to pick us up from the airport….hold up rewin…. Did I mention I am terrified of flying now? Yep officially I am chicken and my heart sits on my throat the entire trip! Remi kept trying to calm my ass but Omo…I was two blinks away from crying! Aint scared of dying …just don’t want to go out like a punk! Pardon me for digressing. Eh hen….so we drove to Babiluwe’s crib and chilled there for a bit. I was hungry again! Damn! Never mind the fact that Remi bought me breakfast at the Airport o! We had an early lunch at Queensway! FYI…If you are hiding or there is a warrant for your arrest, please do not go to Queensway! The POPO are waiting outside to scoop your ass and word is INS is putting their office across the street! I mean the hell? Errrybody and their ancestors be up in that micky flick! una no get pot? Yet I digress again! Ok so after eating like famine was coming, Babiluwe drove me down to Owings Mills to chill with my Ace Mo. I gisted with Moji and her visitors from Jand for a polite minute and I went to sleep! I was up till 3:30am talking on the phone! Bisola Oshipitan….loose my number!

At about 7pm, I realize I need to get ready for the wedding, Bunmi’s family is very popular so it’s going to be a memorable Rara. I drove Moji’s car down to the party (45 minutes away!) Remi and Babs were already there and I saw all my MD peeps. It was a beautiful ceremony. Folks were looking VICIOUS in their trads! It was food galore and lots of eye candy…if you catch my drift! My brother in-law was in the building and I did not even know he was coming, he sprayed me money…and I did not even dance! Hehehehe. So I did my mingling for about 2 hours and congratulated the newlyweds and I was outtie. Very nice wedding, well organized and entertaining. Bunmi and Segun…yall have a happy life and plenty babies!!

PICTURES!!!!

How about I got a ticket? Yes o, apparently, I parked in a bad spot and they gave me a $50 ticket! Moji is going to have a seizure when her anal, law abiding ass sees this ri-hurr!

Moji and I went to Jesus House B’more on Sunday, it was a nice service as usual and I got to see Seyi Oresegun and her beautiful son! Shame on me for not visiting first! Elisa joined Moji and I at Gertrude’s Bistro for lunch and we spent the next couple hours at the Baltimore Art Gallery….hate to toot my own horn (who am I kidding? No I don’t) but those artist have nothing on me! In my opinion Dali was high when he did his works and Picasso just made a bunch of mistakes and called it art! I sat on the Buddha exhibit and Elisa started casting out demon! LOL. We had an absolute blast. Ok so I forgot my memory card so we had to use Elisa’s 0.0000007 megapix ancient 1922 camera!

I made obe buka for dinner and Moji forced us to eat at the table! Tobi (Elisa’s man) joined us for dinner then we watched Flavor Flav!!! I am sickened by the fact that I enjoy this show so much! Please tell me why NewYork reminds me of this chick I know! I aint mentioning any names either!

So we all crashed at like 1am, only to get up at 5am and drive to Elisa’s house! Tobi took me to the airport. It took us about 1hour 45 minutes to get there…I sooo do not miss MD!
I nearly missed my flight but Remi checked me in already so I was able to make it! Dayo scooped Remi and I from the airport and I did not get to my office till 11am...what else is new? I had fun this weekend mehn!

Happy Birthday Praise!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

Praise is my favorite little boy, I love him to bits and he is super cute! Happy birthday my Prince!! It's on at ChuckECheeze tonight boy!!!!
This is for the grown kids only...no one under age 4 will be admitted!!! Muah!!!!

Happy Birthday Yetti!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-20T13:21:00.000-07:00

Hey Yetunde !!! Happy Birthday love, you know how they say its the thought that matters? Well...I thought your birthday was tomorrow! HEHEHE
On this day and always
May God be with you.
Direct your path and order your steps.
Anoit you with endless grace!
Embarrass you with favor
And most importantly, may your man be as hot as mine (hehehe)
I met this ele on LVIPlist 5 years ago to be exact, but it feels like I've know her forever, she is my voice of reason, whenever I feel the need to do something stupid (quite often)! Her wisdom is far beyond her years and she is so damn talented it make you sick.

Yetunde, remember........... there are many imitators but you are the originator!
Be blessed miha!

Yetti' Blog